ATM's and Assholes

A CAT Product destroys more historic memories in Downtown Denver

So I am now in downtown for a few days. And I thought when I was out looking around about another blog story to tie into my theme this week. Sometimes it's tough but one jumped right in front of me.

I parked my stuff in my hotel and ran down to one of the many Starbucks that populate downtown. I got to tell you, there is a tremendous amount of eye candy walking around this warm muggy day. Huge...

Anyway, I got inside for a mid day Latte and I was third in line. Look, I am not going to comment necessarily on the cashiers sexual orientation but he was fem-boy with the way he talked. He dazzled the women in front of me with the way he ran their credit cards. Suddenly it was my turn and he ran card with no problem.

So I am like, "Hey... is their an ATM nearby?"

He tosses his hands up and says really sarcastically in his like squeaky voice, "Um... this is like downtown you know, and their banks all around us..."

And that was it!! There was like a pause like... "Hey are you going to tell me where the nearest one is now?"

But nothing!!

So.. I go.. "Well... there are assholes all over Starbucks, do you want to tell me where the nearest ATM is or do you want me to go first on pointing out the nearest asshole thing?"

The barrista just laughed!!! She knew I was right.

I got my directions...

Steve Involved In A Wicked Car Accident

I was driving today in Arizona. It was hot like 107 degrees. I was in a sports-type car and so I was going kind of fast for the conditions. I was weaving in and out of corners just passing people left and right, a lot of them just really didn't know how to drive. Well, I came around this really tight corner and this lady spun out in front of me. She totally got sideways and like I had nowhere to go. I thought quick and I threw my car into the guard rail hoping to make it through and BAM!!! I was T-Boned at 35 mph by the car behind me. I almost flew out of the car because it was open top. I had a four point harness on though and THANK GOD for the helmet!!

I was able to straighten out and get off the track. I was lucky. The guy that hit me is a piece of shit for doing so. That guy is big brother. And we were on the F-1 go kart racing track in Phoenix, AZ. He had his racing permit revoked for the day. I might forgive him but 30 minutes in the hot tub did nothing to help.

But the racing...

Dude... it was so rad. These go karts go like 45 mph. There was this tight track and we got two races on it. Centrifical clutch on the motor. A gas pedal and some brakes. Yeah what brakes. I was drifting in the fog like an Asian kid in Daly City, CA down Hickey Blvd. (Grow up in DC and you know what I am talking about) I was all giddy before we started. We had to take a race "class" on how to drive. We had a smock for the helmets so your sweat didn't make everything wet. Optional racing suits which we declined of course because we didn't want to look like fairies. I have a passion for driving cars fast and when I can get in a position to legally do so... I can get a car to move.

So there was like 10 of us. We all get in the cars. My brother got the pole position because of a random pick and I was 5th, which pissed me off. As soon as the green flag dropped I was gone. We had a rolling start and when green meant go, I freaking blew the doors off the car in front of me. All tight corners and chicanes. I found the line and soon I was behind my brother. The two of us roll it like we stole it. I'd pass him and the asshole would cheat and bump me into the wall over and over. This went on for like 15 laps until they called us in.

They judged the racing times by seconds per lap. I had the fastest lap out of 24, beating my brother by a full half second. He was pissed. He made up excuses like my car was faster or that his brakes didn't work right or that because I am smaller. (He's 6' 1" and maybe 220, which doubles Teeny both in height and weight, twice) I rarely used my brakes and all that tuning and racing I did a few years back on my 914 and the racing games on my XBOX 360 paid off. I flew around corners. Everyone would take them tight... I ran them deep to keep the speed up because of the engine clutch these things have. When you hit the brakes you lose revs and your engine dies. You keep the engine speed up and there is no stopping you. I got the thing to back fire a few times which was really cool. The line was definitely on the outside of the track.

So a half an hour later. The cars are in a different order so the faster car claim is gone. I am running 5th at the start so I still have to pass 4 people to get to the front and ahead of my brother. I don't have the same car. And still despite the accident (that the managers were pissed at my brother for) I beat my best time by a full second and again came in first. I ran this car harder. Sliding, smoking tires. It was great. All except for the crash. The admonished my brother and kicked him out.

In the championship race I lost by 7 tenths of a second. My time in the second race was the 4th best this week at this place.

My thumbs hurt. My back is totally fucked. I think I have whiplash. My wrists are killing me. After he hit me I sat on the track for like 5 minutes and then pulled off the track and sat there for another few. My co-workers had that look like, "Oh that dude is totally a jerk for doing that to him."

But it's okay... We go on these team events and if there is something to win, my brother always tries to win. He is ultra competitive. But I stuck him twice by a good margin. I had him.

I won.

Radio Shack: Steve Vents...

Can someone please tell me why the hell Radio Shack needs to know every bit of personal information about you when you buy something?

What the hell?

I got this new camera right? And I am down in San Diego and I took a photo of something and I really needed to send it out tonight. Well... So I get back to my room and my card reader stopped reading my camera card. So I looked up Radio Shack and punched the address into my Streets and Trips thing and BAM!! There was one right over the hill.

So I zoom in there with my rental car, the... Pontiac Grand Prix... woo hoo, Good Times... And I ran into the store.

At the register is a assistant manager, a regular worker and some customer reading the warranty of some open box iPod thing. I found what I was looking for and took it to the register.

I put the item down and present my credit card.

"Name," the assistant manager says.

"Uh... Steve..." I say.

"Last name, " he says.

"Um... Dude, you like totally have my credit card... I am sure it is the same."

"LOOK!!!" he says, "I just need your name in case you lose your receipt and need to return this item."

What a bullshit excuse I am thinking as I tell him my explosive last name.

"Address?" he says.

"Um... Dude? What are you doing? I don't even live here... I live like 600 miles away... If I break the thing, I'll come back and buy another one... It's 10 bucks!! The picture I need is worth $100's more to me..."

He interrupts, "We need this data from our customers to send them special offers and..."

So I interrupt, " Okay... look! I just got off work, I tried to load my camera into my computer and it failed. My first instinct was to find Radio Shack on Google near my hotel. As soon as I found this location, I hopped into that 3-day old, puke grey Pontiac outside and drove straight here. I could have easily have run up to Fry's Electronics on the next block but their customer service is way more screwed up than yours."

"Credit or debit," He says.

"Credit, " I say, knowing that he's getting screwed out of 3% of the sale from VISA by me saying credit and not debit.

"Can I see your ID?" He says...

Then a revelation hit me. I could have said I was Tony Masselli from Brooklyn but now living as a house keeper in Connecticut because he'd never look at my card and see that my name was different so what the hell could he have done?

I give up... Those bastards!

Steve Beats Best Buy...

In the ongoing saga regarding our laundry machines, I got $60 back from Best Buy today.

The situation from the other day got a little worse before it got better. Because they smashed the door on the new machine and because I bought the "open box" model, Best Buy was pretty much screwed. They had two choices: Fix the door quickly or cut the losses and bring me a new washing machine. They chose the new machine, which was great.

They still had their head up their ass when it came delivering though. I needed the machine at the latest by Friday. We ended up getting it yesterday between 3pm-5pm. And that was the key to the whole thing I am gonna talk about next.

I went to Best Buy this morning. I have had laryngitis the past few days. I cannot raise my voice without coughing. I sound like crap! So I get there when they opened at 10. I stand in the return line until it was my turn.

So I finally got to the counter. I actually was attempting to return two things. First, they were supposed to deliver two electrical cords. Our house is around 100 years old and we did not know if there was a four prong 220V outlet for the dryer or a three prong when we made the purchase. So we bought both. During the whole delivery fiasco, they never brought the second plug, only the proper three prong one. So I pleaded my case and got $20 and some change back.

But on the $40 delivery charge got the ole talk to the hand treatment on the first attempt. So I prodded along telling my story for the second attempt. I was like, "Dude, c'mon... I purchased the delivery time to have my units set up on the 23rd at 4:30PM. Both units finally were set up on Saturday but I paid to have them set up on the 23rd."

The sales manager was understanding but her response was, "Yeah, we broke the door and instead of repairing it, we sent you a new machine which was an extra cost to us. However the time request you purchased was for you to set a time and day. Normally we just set up blocks not specific times and we give you a couple of days. We set up a new time and date for Saturday." So what she was saying was, we realize we fucked up but what that $40 charge is for, is to set up a specific time. Since we broke the machine, we set up a specific time for the second delivery.

Pretty much most people would have accepted her explanation. She did a great job. She really sold that $40 charge well. And she had too. On their return policy there is no return available for the specific time thing. And if they missed that time, the return was automatic. But since she pretty much proved they didn't miss their two times, they were in the clear. Right?

Well... not so fast.

Seeing that I am a seasoned vet at sales, I was actually listening. (which is rare for me) I told her in the beginning that the unit wasn't delivered until yesterday. We had to wait between 3pm and 5pm for it to come. I explained that we did not get a choice of the 2nd delivery. We were at the mercy of the shipping company they used. I also indicated that when the person showed up to deliver on Wednesday, he came at 2pm, not 4:30pm and he waited until my wife came home. The second time was a block and not a specific time. I had no choice.

It was awesome when she spun around and grabbed a gift card. She really was stuck. There was no button on the register to override and knock that $40 off. So she handed me a gift card and said, "Will this make you happy?" Let's see, $60, $20 back to the VISA and a gift card for $40 to spend at Best Buy... Nothing could make me happier. I went up against the Blue Box and won.