Showing posts with label issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label issues. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Oh The Hillarity...

People it's Steve Fossett... Not Steve Faucet... 200 misspelled hits...

I just love it when things like this happen to this blog. This occurs a few times a year. 200 hits since Sunday.

Thanks for stopping in though... The power of Steve's Blog rules the internet. One little blog that could.

Oh... check out Blackle. It's the more environmentally friendly version of Google. Supposedly saves a bunch of watt hours because your computer is not using a white background, thus saving electricity. Great for the hippies and Teeny down in the Bay Area! The Bay Area... ah... the most ludicrous place on the planet when it comes to "green". The only place you'll see a Sierra Club bumper sticker on an SUV.

Anyone else see the last two minutes of the 49er's game last night? Wasn't that fucking awesome? Never say never...

I go now...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Steve Involved In A Wicked Car Accident

I was driving today in Arizona. It was hot like 107 degrees. I was in a sports-type car and so I was going kind of fast for the conditions. I was weaving in and out of corners just passing people left and right, a lot of them just really didn't know how to drive. Well, I came around this really tight corner and this lady spun out in front of me. She totally got sideways and like I had nowhere to go. I thought quick and I threw my car into the guard rail hoping to make it through and BAM!!! I was T-Boned at 35 mph by the car behind me. I almost flew out of the car because it was open top. I had a four point harness on though and THANK GOD for the helmet!!

I was able to straighten out and get off the track. I was lucky. The guy that hit me is a piece of shit for doing so. That guy is big brother. And we were on the F-1 go kart racing track in Phoenix, AZ. He had his racing permit revoked for the day. I might forgive him but 30 minutes in the hot tub did nothing to help.

But the racing...

Dude... it was so rad. These go karts go like 45 mph. There was this tight track and we got two races on it. Centrifical clutch on the motor. A gas pedal and some brakes. Yeah what brakes. I was drifting in the fog like an Asian kid in Daly City, CA down Hickey Blvd. (Grow up in DC and you know what I am talking about) I was all giddy before we started. We had to take a race "class" on how to drive. We had a smock for the helmets so your sweat didn't make everything wet. Optional racing suits which we declined of course because we didn't want to look like fairies. I have a passion for driving cars fast and when I can get in a position to legally do so... I can get a car to move.

So there was like 10 of us. We all get in the cars. My brother got the pole position because of a random pick and I was 5th, which pissed me off. As soon as the green flag dropped I was gone. We had a rolling start and when green meant go, I freaking blew the doors off the car in front of me. All tight corners and chicanes. I found the line and soon I was behind my brother. The two of us roll it like we stole it. I'd pass him and the asshole would cheat and bump me into the wall over and over. This went on for like 15 laps until they called us in.

They judged the racing times by seconds per lap. I had the fastest lap out of 24, beating my brother by a full half second. He was pissed. He made up excuses like my car was faster or that his brakes didn't work right or that because I am smaller. (He's 6' 1" and maybe 220, which doubles Teeny both in height and weight, twice) I rarely used my brakes and all that tuning and racing I did a few years back on my 914 and the racing games on my XBOX 360 paid off. I flew around corners. Everyone would take them tight... I ran them deep to keep the speed up because of the engine clutch these things have. When you hit the brakes you lose revs and your engine dies. You keep the engine speed up and there is no stopping you. I got the thing to back fire a few times which was really cool. The line was definitely on the outside of the track.

So a half an hour later. The cars are in a different order so the faster car claim is gone. I am running 5th at the start so I still have to pass 4 people to get to the front and ahead of my brother. I don't have the same car. And still despite the accident (that the managers were pissed at my brother for) I beat my best time by a full second and again came in first. I ran this car harder. Sliding, smoking tires. It was great. All except for the crash. The admonished my brother and kicked him out.

In the championship race I lost by 7 tenths of a second. My time in the second race was the 4th best this week at this place.

My thumbs hurt. My back is totally fucked. I think I have whiplash. My wrists are killing me. After he hit me I sat on the track for like 5 minutes and then pulled off the track and sat there for another few. My co-workers had that look like, "Oh that dude is totally a jerk for doing that to him."

But it's okay... We go on these team events and if there is something to win, my brother always tries to win. He is ultra competitive. But I stuck him twice by a good margin. I had him.

I won.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wednesday 4:30 PM: The Great Washing Machine Odessey

So... like, um... on Friday... I discovered my washing machine was broke. The tranny was blown. The agitator was not working. We were screwed. Baby clothes. Our clothes. Nothing. I quickly packed a bag of business clothes for the weak and headed to the "retreat" in Tahoe to wash clothes. (I like saying that... We don't have a retreat and we already planned to be there... I just brought laundry).

Anyhow... Don't buy from Best Buy. I requested a delivery at 4:30 today. I paid $40 to pick my day. I wanted it at this specific time. But noooooo.... They wanted to deliver yesterday. We told them no... come today at the required $40 pre-selected time of 4:30 pm. So what happens? I get a call at 2pm , "Hey man, this is Best Buy is anyone home so we can deliver?" No dude, I am not at home and I specifically said 4:30; TODAY!!!

So like, what happens? Well... I'll tell you. But actually, this other dude calls first at 2:45PM and says he is outside my house. "What the f---?" I say..,. "READ THE F-KING receipt ya bastard, 4-freaking 30."

"Uhh... " the guy blirts, "I am two hours from home in Livermore and I have to wait?"

"Fuck yeah!!! You freaking wait. 4:30 pm..." is what I said. (as my sister in laws eyes burn out from my F-Bombs they are reading here). So the darling wife is home... right now. As I type... Dealing with this nasty situation that is snowball-spiraling into an incredible shit storm of Homer-rrifc proportions (hence the title, Odyssey) because... because.... because...

The freaking door to the washing machine is smashed into pieces!! So here we are, pretty much fuct at this point... no washer and a huge issue for Best Buy. I swear to God, if I have to go there on Saturday, I am getting a free Nintendo Wii for my troubles... Not to mention my $40 back. I feel like that kid from "Better Off Dead" with the whole, "I want my $2" thing that John Coussak had to deal with before that skiing competition. (Lawryde and Lawryde's wife... that is an 80's movie that is quite funny. You remember the 80's don't you?)