Another Set of Reasons it Sucks Being Born on Christmas

Y'all remember when I wrote about it in 2004...

Here are some more thoughts to reflect on:

When you are in your mid 30's (like my age now and not a kid at heart) you have a hard time convincing small children that your birthday is on Christmas.

It's like, "Yeah, you know what Christmas Day is too, right?"

"Santa's Birthday?"

Blank stare...

"No... what?"

And then you tell them... and they are like, "Nah, ah... it's not your birthday, no one has a birthday on Christmas"

It's funny... and I guess if I was some sort of narcissist I would keep the argument going, but you let it go. They get presents and share a birthday cake.. :) But it is hard for your kids to understand the day from your perspective. I don't expect much anymore for my birthday other than to be around family, drink fine wine and just be.

My son is 3 and he is getting all wrapped up in the concept of Christmas Day and the Santa myth. I took him to see Santa last Saturday for the first time. He didn't quite get the fact that you had to ask an old man in a Santa suit for a "Batman Cave" in order to actually get it. And that you had to put a tree up for Santa to bring presents. And that you needed to put stockings up by the fireplace so Santa knew to come there and bring stuff down... And this all happens on one day and not any other time. He has been insisting tomorrow is Christmas for the past few weeks.

And then he has the revelation that it is your birthday and it is a total mind &$%# for him. No he says, Christmas is Christmas and your birthday is tomorrow... Everything is tomorrow I guess when you are three.

The other thing I notice this time of year is the reminder for like 4 months now that it is your birthday. In September, after Labor Day in between the Halloween decorations, Christmas seems to come a bit earlier each year, like on Sept 15 after the back to school sales are over. Let's not wait for summer to officially end Sept 21, let's throw the decorations up now before Oct 1. Earlier and earlier each year until they just start January 15th with 345 days till Christmas sales.

But for the Chrismas baby, it is another year older, for 4 months straight. Four months to relfect on the fact that I am going to be 36 this year. Too old to make the major leagues, almost old enough to make the Senior PGA tour. I have descended into my Fat Elvis Years. Thanks for the 4 month reminder each and every year.

35...

Today...  Uggh!!!  I am officially old!!

Trippy Sky

You can see Jupiter, Venus and the moon right next to each other right now.

Wow! Thrilling week ahead, lots of travel and some exciting fun.

Elijah and I had a killer 4-day weekend where we got a Christmas tree, a train ride and a pony ride. Pictures to follow on that stuff.

The tree is up so it now feels like Christmas time. Should be a fun season this year with a lot of cool stuff.

It's That Time of the Year!!

Sunset out the back of the new house in the country.

When people starting searching for those who have a sucky birthday on Christmas Day... The searches get more intriguing every year.

Of course all the funny comments people left year after year are gone unless I re-install haloscan.

The house is almost finished. I still have all my tools to move. But I got Elijah's bed up so he can sleep elevated and not on the mattress on the ground when he comes over this weekend. I have put up all my shelves and music bullshit everywhere. I put up some decorative shelves in the dining room and I put up my trumpet and the trombone I fished out of my mom's attic. She also gave me her great aunt's accordion for a decoration too. It still plays. I have some cool stuff up including this poem about this old violin for sale that no one would buy until someone picked it up and played something beautiful out of it. That is how I feel sometimes.

Anyhow... with the 6 dozen placemats my mom gave me... I am pretty set here now. Just some tidying up. 2000 sq feet is a lot for a single dude but it is cool. Now I just need an old Chevy truck. I think that is what I am after this spring. A '68-'72 Chevy pick up. Something I can restore like the Porsche. It could be cool.

Pain

You wonder at this point what is the right step...

I have been carrying on four plus years with daily pain. The last two and a half with constant, chronic, pain through out my left side of my body. It'll cause me to limp like a troll, force off my guitar and make my golf game look shittier than it already is. It's hard to drive the 914, shifting gears and reaching out for the clutch. It's harder to drive period for long distances without some freaky pain in my arm.

Last week I woke up and my entire left arm was numb. I should tell you, this happens almost every day. Sometimes it's both arms. Sometimes it is my left arm and left leg. But last Thursday was a little different. Normally I wake up and just shake out the pain. By the time I reach the shower it is all gone.

But Friday was different. By the time I got into the shower, I was still numb. I remember pressing my hands against the cool shower wall and only feeling it with my left hand. I walked downstairs to find my hat and keys for my daily coffee ride. Still numb. I drove 10 minutes to Peet's Coffee... Still numb...

I left and came back... I had been up for an hour. Still numb.

The numbness never left my arm, it was crazy. I decided to make a call to the neurologist and report what was happening and basically get an appointment as soon as possible. I got one alright for tomorrow...

I sat numb all day in my left arm and hand until 4pm. That is when it finally just went away. Now I am stuck with this constant pain in my arm that no pain pill seems to numb. Self control is tough but I am hanging in there. I know if popped an extra pill I'd feel a bit better for a short time... But I won't. I stick with the prescribed limits on the bottle. I dare not become an addict. I don't even drink wine or beer much anymore. I am taking four different medications now. Vicodin for the stabbing pain that does go away. Tegetrol for attacking the pain in my nerves... Elavil to sleep as needed. And Celexa to reduce anxiety and depression. I have been with a psychologist the last 8 weeks.

Fucking eh... I am the bomb... literally.

So tomorrow, I get to point it all out... all the pain and how I feel that day and what went numb. Four years, no answers... two and a half really, really hard years enduring pain..

So I go back tomorrow for the next visit.

I wonder if he solved his plumbing problem with my suggestion?

8 Days this Week.

Monday, December 17th

I have 8 more days until I grow up or um... change years.

I was a good weekend. We went to San Francisco to see the other side of the family. To me... it's the other, other side of the family since I am like a way distant relative by marriage. Elijah is like a fourth cousin. But we're all close which is cool so.

We were in San Francisco this weekend. I kinda liked the leather jacket Elijah has from his Grandpa. So I went out and bought myself one for Christmas. See picture below:



Self portrait of myself. I am in a hotel room somewhere in Colorado. Nice jacket eh? It's totally awesome. I was with my sister in law who is like this expert shopper. We looked at a lot of places for a decent jacket. Nordstrom's had the best but they were like $700-$900 each. Way too much for leather. So I settled for Men's Wearhouse. I got a Pronto Umo lambskin black jacket. Totally soft without a bunch of Michael Jackson pockets, beads and zippers. Just plain. The price was $450. However they had it on sale for $225. And I had this rewards card so I got $50 off!! Freaking awesome.

Totally nice to be styling. I bought a coat rack from IKEA yesterday to go with it too. So that is up on the wall.

Next up is my birthday present. I haven't decided. Probably gonna get the Led Zeppelin Box Set on iTunes. 99 bucks for like 140 songs or something like that. I only have one greatest hits album so it will be cool to get them all.

Also... I think I am gonna lay some Bamboo laminate flooring for Elijah's room next week. Sounds like a big project. Gotta rip up the carpet and move all the shit out of the room. Should be fun. As long as I can get it done in a day. I laid the stuff downstairs in 1/2 a day and this room is just square without a bunch of cuts and shit. I found some bamboo for $1.19 a square foot at IKEA. I think the room is like 15X15 so it'll cost like $300 to lay it. Should be cool!

I'm Rich, Bitch!!!

Why I am posting so much, I don't know? Something to do with the weather or the way I feel. I have the urge to write, say and even sing anything I want these days.

Funny story and I can thank Teeny for it. Teeny is one of those people that if you were someone who forwarded jokes and shit, it would probably stop right there. (My opinion anyway) I mean... she's not someone you get a bunch a jokes from in your email. We all have those people.

The other day though she forwarded me this email though that had this link to the State Controller's office of California:

http://scoweb.sco.ca.gov/UCP/

Basically... it is a site for unclaimed money the state has for certain people. It's things like stocks, inheritance, back tax refunds, utility deposits and other shit like that. I don't know what compelled her to forward it but she did.

So I looked up my name and bam! $525.00 is owed to us. I could not believe it. Shit never falls out of the sky like that for us. I am so happy!! $525.00! There is so much you can do with that kind of money.

I am going to cash it into $1 bills and then throw it on the floor and roll in it like a cheap whore.

It's like a birthday present you didn't expect only it's not Christmas Day yet.

If You Keep Reading, I'll Keep Ranting...

This post revisits many of my more famous themes from posts like, The Starbucks line, Verbal Assaults in parking lots regarding my choice of vehicle and my personal favorite Elijah.

Okay... so last night, the first night in say, 3 weeks that I went to sleep at a normal hour on my own power... only to wake up at 2:30AM. I put on CNN on sling box on my laptop so I can bore myself back to sleep. Nothing more boring than an early morning Lou Dobbs replay. The reality is though, I turned on Fox so I can anticipate the big Mitt Romney speech and learn more about the crazy fuck with the AK-47 in Omaha. (I guess if you leave all the pieces in close proximity, a kid will grab a gun and go to town... So sad this kind of stuff happens). I went back to sleep at 3 and woke up at 7 when I heard the doors slam.

Anyhow fast forward to reality... I got out of bed at 8 forgetting DW was taking the day off to relax. It's actually cool because I got to take the Cayenne to Starbucks for a cup of my liquid elixir. So I roll in and just like a movie, there was a parking spot right in front. I always call that spot the "movie spot" because when a car rolls up on a business in a movie they always get to park in front. You never get to see them run in the rain across the parking lot, dodging cars and splashing through puddles.

My cell rings and it's Elijah's day care. The nice lady there is asking me to come by and look at Elijah's finger. He somehow got it caught in a door. It sounded a hell of a lot worse than it was. I think it scared him more than it hurt. But I am the emergency contact during the week so I figured I just head into Starbucks and then head over to day care.

Fat chance...

When I opened the door of the Porsche to get out there was rather large woman standing in front of the Porsche. I gave her the,"Do I like generous? I don't have any money!" look. She goes, "I CAN'T GET IN MY CAR!!!" So I humor her... "Why?"

She's like..."You parked to close to my car..."

Thinking of Elijah... Do I say sorry? Do I ignore her? Do I say sucks to be you?

No actually, I go assess the situation because I clearly was well within my line. Sure enough I walk over to the passenger side and her tires are on the line and I am good, Teeny-arm's-widespread distance from her door. I mean... I know people larger than her who could have gotten in. I am not being mean, unreasonable or nasty. There was space. She did not want to attempt it for some reason. It is a tight, urban, downtown parking lot off of Broadway.

She goes..."I can wait for you to get your coffee."

Ah... I struck fear into her... Was it my attitude? My stern, internal dickhead approach to life?

"No...", I say..."My son is hurt at daycare... And all those cooks from the Chinese restaurant are getting their coffee. Look at the line. I'd be wasting more of your time. I am gonna just run and see my son, that's why I was on the phone."

I got back in and sped off. I was pissed the whole time to day care. Why did I let my guard down and not be a jerk on this one? Must be my Christmas spirit.

Elijah was fine. Definitely not a happy camper... Poor little guy. I went back to Starbucks after seeing Elijah.

Do not buy the Ginger Bread slice at Starbucks. It tastes like ass.

Don't Bother Me... I Am Scrooged...

I think I finally fell asleep at like 4:30 AM this morning which is roughly about the time Elijah gets up. I had a bit of a cat nap and basically got up at 7. I don't know what it is but man, I have been an insomniac the past week. I can't sleep because I worrying about shit beyond my control causing me to lose focus on my beauty sleep. The urge to worry is ripping me up.

Anyhow... DW, the boy and I went grocery shopping so I could go get some coffee to wake my ass up and get stuff done today.

It is freaking cold this morning. The Porsche looked cool with the steam coming out of the dual exhaust. It said it was only 36. I was in Denver when it was 20 and 3 inches of snow were on the ground and it felt a hell of a lot colder though here. Probably because the humidity is so high with the light fog over the field next door. It was weird because the car was cold, seat heaters were cranked and people were bundled up walking their dogs. We passed a neighbor's house that had a Nativity scene on a porch swing. I am charging my camera so I can run and get a picture of this. Oh my God, blasphemy.

I stopped at Starbucks. I just got to say... I am so tired and so like down... I walk into this place and there was too much happiness. People were too happy this morning. I get to the counter and the guy is like ultra friendly. He asked me how my day was going. I think he sensed my answer as , "Just get me my fucking coffee and shut the fuck up!" but I was polite. I answered okay... He insisted on getting me to to buy a pound of coffee to donate to the troops.

Hmm... go to Starbucks... buy coffee to donate to the troops. Who makes out on this one, I thought as I rationlized this play on the Christmas spirit? (Yeah Christmas spirit, if you want me to say Holiday Spirit I won't because this is not a liberal blog) I think of the 10,000- 20,000 plus Starbucks retail outlets... I think of all the people that go to each one. If 1 in 20 has been suckered by this one and you figure each store probably sees 500 people a day... then you have 25 pounds, times 20,000 or 500,000 pounds a day off coffee being sent off to the troops. That is a fucking grip of coffee. If they do this for the next 25 days their will be 12 million plus pounds of coffee going to the troops or probably 12 pounds for each dude... I don't know what Starbucks charges for a pound but I bet it is like $9.00... so you are seeing Starbucks suck the Christmas spirit out of people for $110,000,000 in sales.

You know something... fuck that.... That isn't the Christmas Spirit. The company need only take 5% of it's total take and give it to a good cause like amputees or other injured soldiers families. Or to the kids who had a parent die over there. 5% of what Starbucks takes on an annual basis is probably a billion or so and they are still shitting in tall cotton as a company.
That's bad capitalism and exploitation of people's giving.

I asked the dude if I could write it off on my taxes if I decided to come back...

So while waiting for my over priced liquid crack, the triple shot Latte... I am sitting there and I see this display of digital photography. They were cool photos and stuff. One had me fascinated. It was like $200 for each photo which I thought was extreme but the dude had taken a photo of the 16 street bridge at sunrise that crosses I think the American River here in Sactown. And I was staring at the photo letting my mind settle on the corporate prickism of Starbucks and I wondered about all the people that live under that 16th street bridge by the river on this cold day. Then this dude came up to me and he is like, "Hey, how's it going?" I looked at him with my expertise in sales like... that's the "Hey... can I sell you my photos?" line. I indicated that I was fascinated by the bridge photo on the river. And he goes yeah... it's pretty scary down there on the river in the morning. No shit dude...

I left... As I walked out I gazed through the front window of the Porsche. Elijah was waving at me. I sighed as I left the lot. I wondered if John was pissed when he found out Mary was pregnant with God's child? (I know it's Joseph.. but today it's John...so STFU)

With that... I'll go straight to hell...

Merry Christmas!!!
Have you hugged a liberal today?

WTF?!?!?

I'll never think of Santa the same way again...
What the hell?

When Old Is The New...

U2 during the "We're poor rock stars, please buy our records" years

Who knew at 14-15 years old when you bought a copy of the "Joshua Tree" by U2, you were buying probably and arguably the greatest rock album of all time. Nothing has sounded like it before and nothing sounded like it sense. (Unless of course you make the pilgrimage to a show when they are on tour and they play songs from it). I probably have bought 4-5 copies of this album due to format changes like tape to CD, or I flat out lost them. I also have an original vinyl release, unopened in my record collection in my basement. I saw it at an old record store and perhaps it will be worth something someday. It's a 10 million seller in the US alone.

Well guess what boys and girls, you can buy it again. This fall, you can spend your hard earned dollars on buying a sure fire hit record, where all the songs are good and not crap, like say the latest Pearl Jam or Britney Spears record. And you can get a bonus.. I bunch of cool shit like photos of the band from 1987 where they look older than they do now, a DVD of a concert from Paris, a digitally remastered version of the album which will sound better and won't have the muddy, analog hiss in the background during the opening song, "Where The Streets Have No Name". The Edge's guitar will jingle and jangle like never before. Each delay effect will be precise. The 'boom, boom, boom, buh da da boom' of Adam's bass will sound so crisp and clear in "I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For". The bass and guitar during Bullet The Blue Sky will sound even more dissonant because the two different keys they are playing will leap from the background in 5.1 Stereo. And Bono... his over-wrought, pseudo Christ-like lyrics will leap into your brain like a preacher stealing hearts in a travelling show for the love of money.

The complete song list is as follows:

Where The Streets Have No Name / I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For / With Or Without You / Bullet The Blue Sky / Running To Stand Still / Red Hill Mining Town / In God’s Country / Trip Through Your Wires / One Tree Hill / Exit / Mothers Of The Disappeared

The bonus CD gets you outtakes and B-Sides:

Luminous Times (Hold On To Love) / Walk To The Water / Spanish Eyes / Deep In The Heart / Silver And Gold / Sweetest Thing / Race Against Time / Where The Streets Have No Name (Single edit) / Silver And Gold (Sun City) / Beautiful Ghost/Introduction to Songs of Experience / Wave Of Sorrow (Birdland) / Desert Of Our Love / Rise Up / Drunk Chicken/America

The highlights there are the versions of Silver And Gold, Wave of Sorrow and Spanish Eyes.

The bonus DVD gets you:

U2 Live from Paris - filmed at the Hippodrome de Vincennes in Paris, on July 41987, on the European leg of The Joshua Tree tour. The tracklist is as follows: I Will Follow / Trip Through Your Wires / I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For / MLK / The Unforgettable Fire / Sunday Bloody Sunday / Exit / In God’s Country / Electric Co. / Bad / October / New Year’s Day / Pride (In The Name Of Love) / Bullet The Blue Sky / Running To Stand Still / With Or Without You / Party Girl / 40

WTF? No Where The Streets Have No Name? I'd trade October for that any day. Highlight here should be the live version of Trip Through Your Wires, Bad, Sunday Bloody Sunday and Running to Stand Still

Anyhow... this should be cool shit for any U2 fan if not any music fan period. Buy yours today.

Buy mine for my birthday and/or Christmas. Either way it is the same thing for me... Presents once a year...WTF is up with that bullshit!!

Thank You: For The Betterment Of Mankind, I Continue To Write...

I now write like a three year old.

I just realized, a few dayss late, that I have been blogging for three years. I started in 2004 right after the election because that whole week I kept hearing on local talk radio about blogs and bloggers.

I think I started off kind of lame. Not knowing what to write about. Trying this approach and that approach and worrying about if people would start reading or not. I tried figuring out how to promote it and what to do. I'd always be looking at the stat counter just to see if there was anybody. I'd see one reader or two readers and realize that they came here on accident or just after I posted something because a lot of bloggers just click "next blog" on top of any Blogger blog like this one. (anything blogspot.com is part of Blogger).

Then I gave up worrying about who was coming and started just writing whatever I wanted too. Sure I have a few family members and friends that read and respond but ultimately people keep coming and keep reading. A lot of people do not comment and that is okay. At least I know they are reading almost everyday a little bit of me feels better that they do bookmark me and keep on reading.

So I guess what I am saying is 'Thanks' to everyone. It means a lot that people come and read. I hope I am entertaining, inciteful and don't annoy you too much. Afterall, it's just one man's opinion.

I feel everyday and every post I write, someone new reads it and keeps coming back. It's interesting that someone would pick up someone's journal and keep it reading it despite my lack of proficiency in good grammar.

And to the handful of people that come each week because they bought an IKEA faucet that is a bitch to install, I hope I have helped you on your way. My way still hasn't leaked and it has been well over a year. IKEA is a truly incredible store and has saved my wife and I lots of money. They just need to remember they are selling stuff in America.

And for those who come by this time of year and wonder about those who are born on Christmas, it truly does suck but it is much better as you get older. The pandering never ceases but at least people recognize you for it.

And why I am in the top 10 for the phrase, "Who crawled up your ass and died?" has got me. Of course, earlier this week I was getting hits for 'Glenn Close getting F*cked' and I have no idea why that happens.

Santa And His Ho's

You gotta be freaking shitting me!!!

See above link. Normally I'd copy that link and post it on my new blog "Steve's Word" that you, my loyal reader, does not read because I track that shit.

Okay, our liberal friends down in Australia want to end the myth of Santa by replacing the "Ho Ho Ho" with "Ha Ha Ha". Why? Because apparently the word Ho is offensive to women. How do they know this? Did they poll the women? Is there a contingent of women out there who cry every Christmas when they visit the mall and see this giant dude saying ho ho ho when he is having is picture taken with little boys and girls? Is this sub-conscious oppression from when these women were awkward teenagers forced to have their picture taken with Santa with their little brothers against their will from an over bearing parent who can't seem to accept that their kids are getting older?

What is this world coming to when we ban tradition in the face of something the most remotely offensive especially when it has to do with something completely harmless and filled with all good like Santa Claus. The liberal assault on Christmas has now gone global. Pretty soon if the libs have their way there will be no Christmas at all because of their fear of Christians, Christianity and all religions related specifically to Christianity. That means no holiday season, no Christmas songs and no hurt feelings at family get togethers between siblings who haven't spoken all year. What the liberals forget however is that Christmas has actually nothing to do with the birth of Christ. Christianity just took over a pagan holiday. A holiday where cultures for eons got together to celebrate the new year around the winter solstice with feasts and gifts. It's a holiday as symbolic as burying our dead. However assigning Jesus's name to it has made Christmas what it is today and how we enjoy it. If you want to really get after Santa and his ho ho ho's blame the Coca Cola Corporation who came up with the the most recent image of Santa in the late 19th century. It is the red and white image of Santa as a jolly old fat man with rosey cheeks and a long white beard that we all love in Santa that coincidentally is the color of the Coca Cola logo. So besides the liberal hatred of religion, it is the liberal hatred of corporate influence and corporate wealth of the global economy is the real reason for the complete shut down of Christmas in the next few years. This will be a serious detriment to our children because the world will not have a season to which they care about the lead and GHB content of our childrens Fisher Price toys. It will just be December 25th, just another day for everyone else, but me... because it is my birthday. <---my number 2 most searched post on this blog.

If I hear Santa yelling ha ha ha instead of ho ho ho at the mall this year, I am going to beat his ass for being a conformist and liberal who will probably vote for Hillary next November.