It Must Be A Rant Week

So I got up at 4:15 AM. Crawled out of bed to let the cat that was tearing up my screen. I am so not getting my deposit back!

I got up early to fly to Los Angeles for a meeting. It was smooth getting out of the house... I can totally do it in the dark now, though the sun cracked just before 5 when I left.

Smooth trip the airport...

Smooth trip to the parking lot...

Smooth trip through security and in line for Starbucks!!

Totally cool, I had 45 minutes until my flight so I just kicked it and checked email and stuff on the phone.

So... it was time to board. The airline I chose, Southwest lines up passengers by numbers and herds them onto the plane. I am good at flying this airline. 24 hours before my flight I check in. (which I totally just fucking forgot for tomorrow!... shit and I still get the A group!! Whoo Hoo!!!)

But anyway... I get on the plane, with my bags, my latte and I sit in peace. No problem.

I am also an expert at not letting people sit next to me. I fold up the arm rest, rest my Latte on the tray in the middle seat, and I stare at the floor reading a magazine, and I spread way out like I am 6 foot 6 instead of 5 10.

So the plane is almost full... and this lady gets on just sobbing her eyes out.

And I carefully, watch because I do not want this next to me today. She is sobbing...

Sobbing...

Sobbing wandering looking for a seat... all middle seats. And I am like in the front of the plane too.

So I see this little kid board so I quickly make room by standing up and saying, "Sit here!"

I chose a single serving friend.

But the lady kept sobbing and I felt bad... She just wandered up and down.

Minutes go by and the flight attendants help her.

Long story short, this lady had a friend/relative/1st Cousin or something die or was sick or whatever...

And I just sat there listening and looking down. And she was sobbing and couldn't catch her breath.

I guess she was upset because there were no aisle seats left. I just kept looking down because I really did not want to care.

The attendants declared an emergency and asked that "one of us" up front give up our aisle for the lady's emergency.

"Huh?!?!" I looked up... And the attendant is not looking directly at me but in the vicinity and she had an authority to her tone like, "One of you better fucking move now!"

I just stared the attendant down with "fuck you" I think written all over my face.

I got on the plane early.

I got my ticket early...

I got to the airport on time... had a Latte and bags stored over my head.

Fuck that... I am not moving. No way! No way! I do not care what this lady's problem or drama is... She got on late! She is not entitled to my seat because I followed Southwest's seating policy. I just don't care and my Latte was not empty yet. Don't look at me for help!

The nice gentlemen in front of me got up and moved...

so that was that...

Fuck Pixar

Here goes...

Fuck Pixar... Seriously! Read this story...

This story is nothing but corporate greed and exploitation. To summarize if you didn't see the link...

This girl is almost dead from some vicious disease. Her dying wish is to see Pixar's Up movie ( I saw it, it's pretty good) and she is so near death she cannot make it to the theater. So to make a long story short, Pixar makes a DVD and has an employee show the video for the family and then takes the DVD and leaves. The girl gets her dying wish and yada yada yada, she dies that night having fulfilled her dream.

Sad story. I feel for the family and their tragic loss. I do. I would devastated if I lost a child.

But fuck Pixar and its cohort, the media...

Why the hell do they need to do a story like this? It's not like some spur of the moment activity where a celebrity helps an old lady across the street out of the kindness of his heart. It wasn't an unplanned sacrifice! Or some random act of kindness: "Benicio Del Toro rescues 5 year old from burning building"

It was fucking staged...

Here is how this goes down.. Kid is sick and can't leave her bed. Family starts to worry that this is the end and they really want to help her see Up

Family calls Pixar.

Pixar's receptionist laughs and says no.

Family friend calls because they know someone on the inside and pleads case...

The friend in Pixar sees what they can do because, well shit, Up is copyrighted and we have this whole chain of command to get this movie to the theaters who have the viewing rights etc. (It'll fuck with the profit model spending .29 cents to burn this on a DVD and take it to the girl)

What you don't see is the haggling and the favors behind the scenes and then one important guy, smelling a buck, goes hey... wait, show the movie to the girl at her house! Bring it to her death bed! Imagine the publicity and the money we'll make. Fuck Dreamworks, Pixar owns this $ummer!!!

So they get some low level employee with a bunch of lead based painted, plastic samples of the soon to be released UP kid toys, some balloons, microwave popcorn and they have this really low key family party to show the movie to the poor kid. Big fucking ordeal behind the scenes, but really low key on the street.

Media is alerted...

The best news Pixar gets: The girl dies that NIGHT!!! OH FUCK YEAH!! $$$$$$$$

I can haz millionz?

Pixar gets the story out... all the office moms get to work today and the story is sent throughout corporate America's email systems: "Did you see this story>" "OMG I cried when I saw it!" "RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: YOU MUST READ THIS" and all the guilt ridden parents out there who haven't taken their kids to see UP will be there this weekend because, WHAT IF IT WERE THEIR KID? What if it were their kid that died? Gotta show the movie to the kids because what if it were their kid. The guilt... Not seeing Up. And they'll cry even more after the first 5 minutes in the theater knowing their hearts, it was all they could do, for their kids this weekend and in honor, of the 10 year old girl that died after the great Pixar is the kindest and most generous company, and most importantly, has the gall to take a dvd down to the kid's house to show her the movie, her dying wish... Up will take her to heaven!!!

Fuck Pixar...

Too Funny...

Second most funny version next to the Dan Band in Old School

Oh Look... Steve Posts...

Sorry... I have been an extrovert posting on other sites.

New exciting news for me.

We are... (Censored)

And then, it is expected that I (censored) the (censored again) for (really censored)

And then finally,

I hope Iran implodes. Seriously. I hope the new guy gets elected for his fine work during the war in the 80's (the side we should have been supporting) and it is better than that jerk off Ahminejihad (spelled wrong on purpose). I think a civil war over there is just what we need so we can carpet bomb North Korea.

I am such a Republican but after what 4 and a half years writing thing and only being known for installing an IKEA faucet correctly, I guess that is all you get to read.

I am so cynical.

Lawryde if you are still reading, you gotta see Gran Torino since it is out on video if you haven't. Right up your alley even though he is quite opposite.

Gotta update my facebook URL

Hummer: Now Made in China

Apparently Hummer is being sold to a Chinese company named Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company Ltd.

While I sadly, miss my old Hummer that I had before the Cayenne (that thing would drive over anything and everything) I am suspect of the brand lasting in America.

Unless they take my new marketing idea!



HA HA HA HA HA!!!