Observations, part 1

Today I was in a Carl's Jr. drive thru getting lunch. For some reason, when I get into these drive-thru's, I like to study the process. Each fast food has their own routine. Some take your money before they give you food. Some give you your drink, take your money and then make you wait for the next batch of fries or something. Some ask you to call a number if you are asked to pay a different amount then the one showing. Some even have a timer above the window, showing you how long your order is taking. Some, frighteningly enough in Southern California have bullet proof glass!!!! 99% of all drive thru's have a left turn into them. There is a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Sacramento with a right turn and they take your money through the passenger side. Amazing. Some even have cameras in the speaker so they can see the car you are driving, and they actually comment on it, which is a frightening experience. Especially when its Starbucks and they have your Triple Venti Low Fat Mocha with no whip scream ready for you as you pull up.

Drive Thru's have good days and some have bad days. Some have a smooth flow and you can feel it because you are constantly moving. Others make you wait. Some scare me because the speaker is busted and you think your order is screwed or they don't give you a total and ask you to pull forward, which leaves you in total limbo, especially if the speaker is screwed. Efficiency is a key and it is something you begin to trust when you cruise through the drive thru.

Today, however was a bad day at this particular Carl's Jr. Why? Because they screwed the process by putting too much shit in the way. For starters, the left turn is narrow as hell. The SUV loving tree hugging yuppies in Sonoma County can't hang these corners. Many Tahoes take three point turns to cut the corner. Tons of scrapes on the far right side of the turn. I wonder how old ladies do it in Buicks. Secondly, there is a newspaper rack... just a bit out of reach. I understand the franchisee's need for profit centers in his business but a news paper rack. I witnessed the guy behind me lose balance pulling the spring loaded door, thus causing him to insert more coins. Then, after you have got your paper, made the turn, ordered and denied the voice in the speaker's feeble try at super sizing your order for 39 cents, you reach the spot before the window where you pay, where you see.... THE ATM MACHINE!!! This is here for all the fools that pull into the drive thru line that don't have the money. You know the feeling where you are looking under the floormats for the last quarter while you hold up the line four car lengths from the window, thinking you are saving everyone behind you time. Stop wasting time and slide the plastic! Of course the ATM is just out of reach of most of the people on the planet. But, still as it was, the tiny lady in the big ole Tahoe had to get the money in front of me. It was kinda comical at first because she leaned all the way out to slide the card. Then she had to key her pin and so while leaning out the window she opens the door to reach further, slamming her head and her door into the ATM, dropping her ATM card under her SUV. It was kinda funny seeing this while I was waiting, reading the headlines of the newspaper in the rack outside my door. Well finally she pulled forward slowly while putting everything back in her purse. She approached the drive up window ever so slowly handing the money to the cashier. Then the funniest thing I had ever seen occurred. The drive up window person dropped the lady's food. No joke. The thing dropped right under the door of the SUV, between the two tires. The bag was oblong like a football so it travelled pretty far. If I had been enjoying my soda at this point, I would have shot it through my nose as I laughed so hard. All I could see through the tinted Tahoe's windows was the lady miming "What do I do now?" The drive thru window person, in perfect comedic timing, gave that "I speak no English" look back. Then the door opened to the SUV, right into the drive up window for dent number two.

What happened here? Are we really into the demise of western civilization? We are so over-glutton for profits we make big huge SUV's for tiny people to drive. We fill ourselves with the appettite for high margin fast food. We don't want to get our asses out of our big SUV's to order this food, so we cram them into drive thru's built in the compact car era of the late 70's and early 80's, where we run into technology built for the 21st century, the drive up ATM and these drive thru's are run by people who will work for minimum wage. I see no solutions here. If we raise minimum wage the drive thru won't get any faster or easier to manuever. If we remove technology from our lives to keep it simple, we will not progress. Nobody wants to go back to there Gremlins and Mustang II's of yester-year. Heck, everyone knows you can't even park them SUV's easily so why close the drive through. We've outgrown our world. I am glad I told drive up window person that I didn't need to super size it but I am sure next time they'll be a new profit center for that lady in the Tahoe to stumble through.