Manners

Doesn't anyone have any manners anymore?

I fired up the Porsche tonight to enjoy the warm, smokey air through what is left of my hair. I drove around looking for a place simple to get something to eat and a beer. It was a rough week. I worked hard. I wanted a freaking beer.

So after driving by a few places and waiting for the commuter trains at the light, I decided to head back near the house and get a crepe.

So I park in front, head inside and right to the counter to order. This older guy is behind me and I only notice because I can feel his glare on me. So I turn around and give him the "what hell are you looking at?" look. Something about him just irked me. I ordered my crepe and beer and they filled the pint there and gave me a number to wait for my food. So I go turn around and the dude is right there. Nice big restaurant... plenty of places to stand and he is right there... there was no one else except for a table in way back with like 6 people and the workers. Plenty of places to stand.

Well... I walk on and go to the recycle bin they have and look for today's paper and proceeded to sit down and the dude comes my way like I took his chair. Just glaring at me. Still wondering what his problem was. He sat in the table behind me. I could still feel his presence.

So I am sitting at the corner of the restaurant with my beer, today's paper and a number. And like, there was 6 or 7 open tables around me (plus the one with the dude). In the center of this cluster was a hexagon table that could seat six. This group came and wanted to sit there. I have my paper up... my beer... I see the group coming. Plenty of room, no biggy. Suddenly this lady grabs my paper and with a whiny annoying voice she goes... "EXCUSE ME!! BUT IS ANYONE SITTING HERE"

I just stared like a deaf person and raised paper back up. I felt like being a dick for some reason. But again she grabs my paper.... "EXCUSE ME... I ASKED IF ANYONE WAS SITTING HERE!" This time she is rattling the chair across from me. My mind worked quickly... I fold my paper down and sit up... take a sip of my beer and do a 180 degree gaze from left to right, silently counting all the unoccupied chairs from all the other empty tables around me...including those that were more convenient for her to grab. This all happens in 3 seconds. Quickly... but probably an eternity for her... and I go... "Um... are you sure you want this one?"

She just grabs it and goes... I pull my paper up and I can hear her go... "That was rude!" to her friends. I smile and sigh real loud as my food came to the table.

I was just thinking, have you ever experienced Goat Trauma?

Steve Looks Suspicious

Yeah... well... I made it through at least.

I go through security a lot at airports. I don't think much of it. Only when the lady who tries to carry her entire make up and shampoo conditioner set through is when I gripe or express frustration. I have become a pro at lines. I look for businessman and stuff like that and go to that line because they have their act together. I am flying out of a tiny airport today back to Sactown. Amazed as hell they had a direct flight and for only hundred bucks. I'll get back before Elijah's bedtime.

So I am going through security and I got "randomly" selected for "extra" screening. Great... I am not complaining... I mean what the fuck are you going to do, bitch at the TSA? Nah...

So I got through the extra gate and they take my laptop and bag full of electronic wires for my GPS, phone, iPod, camera..etc and run "tests" on it. They were totally polite.

So they ask me if I know why I am being pulled out. Quick answer: "Let's see... I am by myself, flying one direction on a flight with an airline I have never flown before?" Wow! Must of been a good answer because the lady just shrugged with agreement. So they tell you what to do... go sit here. Stand there. Face this way... Direct orders where you don't gripe or complain. And they were ransacking my bag. It took them some time. I asked them to find me my iPod charger while they were in there. They just looked... I sat back singing an Elvis Presley song to myself.."We can't go on together... with suspicious minds..."

All clear and I got out safely. Luckily I wasn't in a hurry. I had enough time to sit and write this.

And there it was...

A goat eating dynamite