Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hey I just noticed...

...I get a three day weekend!

Michael Jackson doesn't.

Monday, June 29, 2009

This is purely AWESOME!!

One website dedicated to truck crashes at one railroad trestle crossing! Beyond awesome!

Michael Jackson joke of the day: What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson? Farrah did Majors and Jackson did minors...(wait for it...let it come you if you don't get it... not yet? click here)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

All the People Just Died

Wow... Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson in one week.

I guess Farrah's dying wish was that all the children of the world would be safe...

...and minutes later, Michael Jackson dies. Still too soon Lawryde?

WOW! Bring it on is back up if you want to bring it, um... on. Been up for 4 years now. It is kind of funny to watch people go at each other for no reason.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Thoughts; AKA my 700th post

Wow! It has been a killer week.

First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett and now Michael Jackson.

What are the chances? Who is next?

Will they break Michael's body down into Legos with all the plastic that was in it so that little kids can play with him for a change? (Lawryde, it is never too soon)

We are heating up this weekend and I am expecting that we will be up to 105 tomorrow afternoon which is entirely awesome.

I got over what ever it is that I had earlier this week so I bet it was not the pig flu.

I can't stand this band but this song is really really really good:

Lyrics below...

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I have the Mexican Pig Plague

I think I have the H1N1 virus otherwise known as swine flu.

I seriously feel like shit.


I have had a raging headache, I feel clammy and I also feel like shit.

I also am losing track of my thoughts.

I am dying for some better drugs. Sudafed and/or Dayquil are just not cutting it.

I am in LAX waiting for a plane. I should just start telling people I have it before they get it on the plane.

Blurry vision... I think I have a fever because it is cool down here but I am all hot. Maybe it is my clothes.

I wish they'd board some planes so they can get some people out of here.

Praise Jesus, Holy Cow...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It Must Be A Rant Week

So I got up at 4:15 AM. Crawled out of bed to let the cat that was tearing up my screen. I am so not getting my deposit back!

I got up early to fly to Los Angeles for a meeting. It was smooth getting out of the house... I can totally do it in the dark now, though the sun cracked just before 5 when I left.

Smooth trip the airport...

Smooth trip to the parking lot...

Smooth trip through security and in line for Starbucks!!

Totally cool, I had 45 minutes until my flight so I just kicked it and checked email and stuff on the phone.

So... it was time to board. The airline I chose, Southwest lines up passengers by numbers and herds them onto the plane. I am good at flying this airline. 24 hours before my flight I check in. (which I totally just fucking forgot for tomorrow!... shit and I still get the A group!! Whoo Hoo!!!)

But anyway... I get on the plane, with my bags, my latte and I sit in peace. No problem.

I am also an expert at not letting people sit next to me. I fold up the arm rest, rest my Latte on the tray in the middle seat, and I stare at the floor reading a magazine, and I spread way out like I am 6 foot 6 instead of 5 10.

So the plane is almost full... and this lady gets on just sobbing her eyes out.

And I carefully, watch because I do not want this next to me today. She is sobbing...


Sobbing wandering looking for a seat... all middle seats. And I am like in the front of the plane too.

So I see this little kid board so I quickly make room by standing up and saying, "Sit here!"

I chose a single serving friend.

But the lady kept sobbing and I felt bad... She just wandered up and down.

Minutes go by and the flight attendants help her.

Long story short, this lady had a friend/relative/1st Cousin or something die or was sick or whatever...

And I just sat there listening and looking down. And she was sobbing and couldn't catch her breath.

I guess she was upset because there were no aisle seats left. I just kept looking down because I really did not want to care.

The attendants declared an emergency and asked that "one of us" up front give up our aisle for the lady's emergency.

"Huh?!?!" I looked up... And the attendant is not looking directly at me but in the vicinity and she had an authority to her tone like, "One of you better fucking move now!"

I just stared the attendant down with "fuck you" I think written all over my face.

I got on the plane early.

I got my ticket early...

I got to the airport on time... had a Latte and bags stored over my head.

Fuck that... I am not moving. No way! No way! I do not care what this lady's problem or drama is... She got on late! She is not entitled to my seat because I followed Southwest's seating policy. I just don't care and my Latte was not empty yet. Don't look at me for help!

The nice gentlemen in front of me got up and moved...

so that was that...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Fuck Pixar

Here goes...

Fuck Pixar... Seriously! Read this story...

This story is nothing but corporate greed and exploitation. To summarize if you didn't see the link...

This girl is almost dead from some vicious disease. Her dying wish is to see Pixar's Up movie ( I saw it, it's pretty good) and she is so near death she cannot make it to the theater. So to make a long story short, Pixar makes a DVD and has an employee show the video for the family and then takes the DVD and leaves. The girl gets her dying wish and yada yada yada, she dies that night having fulfilled her dream.

Sad story. I feel for the family and their tragic loss. I do. I would devastated if I lost a child.

But fuck Pixar and its cohort, the media...

Why the hell do they need to do a story like this? It's not like some spur of the moment activity where a celebrity helps an old lady across the street out of the kindness of his heart. It wasn't an unplanned sacrifice! Or some random act of kindness: "Benicio Del Toro rescues 5 year old from burning building"

It was fucking staged...

Here is how this goes down.. Kid is sick and can't leave her bed. Family starts to worry that this is the end and they really want to help her see Up

Family calls Pixar.

Pixar's receptionist laughs and says no.

Family friend calls because they know someone on the inside and pleads case...

The friend in Pixar sees what they can do because, well shit, Up is copyrighted and we have this whole chain of command to get this movie to the theaters who have the viewing rights etc. (It'll fuck with the profit model spending .29 cents to burn this on a DVD and take it to the girl)

What you don't see is the haggling and the favors behind the scenes and then one important guy, smelling a buck, goes hey... wait, show the movie to the girl at her house! Bring it to her death bed! Imagine the publicity and the money we'll make. Fuck Dreamworks, Pixar owns this $ummer!!!

So they get some low level employee with a bunch of lead based painted, plastic samples of the soon to be released UP kid toys, some balloons, microwave popcorn and they have this really low key family party to show the movie to the poor kid. Big fucking ordeal behind the scenes, but really low key on the street.

Media is alerted...

The best news Pixar gets: The girl dies that NIGHT!!! OH FUCK YEAH!! $$$$$$$$

I can haz millionz?

Pixar gets the story out... all the office moms get to work today and the story is sent throughout corporate America's email systems: "Did you see this story>" "OMG I cried when I saw it!" "RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: YOU MUST READ THIS" and all the guilt ridden parents out there who haven't taken their kids to see UP will be there this weekend because, WHAT IF IT WERE THEIR KID? What if it were their kid that died? Gotta show the movie to the kids because what if it were their kid. The guilt... Not seeing Up. And they'll cry even more after the first 5 minutes in the theater knowing their hearts, it was all they could do, for their kids this weekend and in honor, of the 10 year old girl that died after the great Pixar is the kindest and most generous company, and most importantly, has the gall to take a dvd down to the kid's house to show her the movie, her dying wish... Up will take her to heaven!!!

Fuck Pixar...

Friday, June 19, 2009

Too Funny...

Second most funny version next to the Dan Band in Old School

Friday, June 12, 2009

Oh Look... Steve Posts...

Sorry... I have been an extrovert posting on other sites.

New exciting news for me.

We are... (Censored)

And then, it is expected that I (censored) the (censored again) for (really censored)

And then finally,

I hope Iran implodes. Seriously. I hope the new guy gets elected for his fine work during the war in the 80's (the side we should have been supporting) and it is better than that jerk off Ahminejihad (spelled wrong on purpose). I think a civil war over there is just what we need so we can carpet bomb North Korea.

I am such a Republican but after what 4 and a half years writing thing and only being known for installing an IKEA faucet correctly, I guess that is all you get to read.

I am so cynical.

Lawryde if you are still reading, you gotta see Gran Torino since it is out on video if you haven't. Right up your alley even though he is quite opposite.

Gotta update my facebook URL

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Hummer: Now Made in China

Apparently Hummer is being sold to a Chinese company named Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company Ltd.

While I sadly, miss my old Hummer that I had before the Cayenne (that thing would drive over anything and everything) I am suspect of the brand lasting in America.

Unless they take my new marketing idea!