Monday, June 22, 2009

Fuck Pixar

Here goes...

Fuck Pixar... Seriously! Read this story...

This story is nothing but corporate greed and exploitation. To summarize if you didn't see the link...

This girl is almost dead from some vicious disease. Her dying wish is to see Pixar's Up movie ( I saw it, it's pretty good) and she is so near death she cannot make it to the theater. So to make a long story short, Pixar makes a DVD and has an employee show the video for the family and then takes the DVD and leaves. The girl gets her dying wish and yada yada yada, she dies that night having fulfilled her dream.

Sad story. I feel for the family and their tragic loss. I do. I would devastated if I lost a child.

But fuck Pixar and its cohort, the media...

Why the hell do they need to do a story like this? It's not like some spur of the moment activity where a celebrity helps an old lady across the street out of the kindness of his heart. It wasn't an unplanned sacrifice! Or some random act of kindness: "Benicio Del Toro rescues 5 year old from burning building"

It was fucking staged...

Here is how this goes down.. Kid is sick and can't leave her bed. Family starts to worry that this is the end and they really want to help her see Up

Family calls Pixar.

Pixar's receptionist laughs and says no.

Family friend calls because they know someone on the inside and pleads case...

The friend in Pixar sees what they can do because, well shit, Up is copyrighted and we have this whole chain of command to get this movie to the theaters who have the viewing rights etc. (It'll fuck with the profit model spending .29 cents to burn this on a DVD and take it to the girl)

What you don't see is the haggling and the favors behind the scenes and then one important guy, smelling a buck, goes hey... wait, show the movie to the girl at her house! Bring it to her death bed! Imagine the publicity and the money we'll make. Fuck Dreamworks, Pixar owns this $ummer!!!

So they get some low level employee with a bunch of lead based painted, plastic samples of the soon to be released UP kid toys, some balloons, microwave popcorn and they have this really low key family party to show the movie to the poor kid. Big fucking ordeal behind the scenes, but really low key on the street.

Media is alerted...

The best news Pixar gets: The girl dies that NIGHT!!! OH FUCK YEAH!! $$$$$$$$

I can haz millionz?

Pixar gets the story out... all the office moms get to work today and the story is sent throughout corporate America's email systems: "Did you see this story>" "OMG I cried when I saw it!" "RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: YOU MUST READ THIS" and all the guilt ridden parents out there who haven't taken their kids to see UP will be there this weekend because, WHAT IF IT WERE THEIR KID? What if it were their kid that died? Gotta show the movie to the kids because what if it were their kid. The guilt... Not seeing Up. And they'll cry even more after the first 5 minutes in the theater knowing their hearts, it was all they could do, for their kids this weekend and in honor, of the 10 year old girl that died after the great Pixar is the kindest and most generous company, and most importantly, has the gall to take a dvd down to the kid's house to show her the movie, her dying wish... Up will take her to heaven!!!

Fuck Pixar...

11 comments:

Stephanie said...

But they make the best movies!

I think being a Republican makes a person bitter.

Steve said...

They do make the best movies but this is shit. I think they took advantage of the situation to make a few extra bucks, which by now are all profit since it is at $226 Million in ticket sales.

Being a Republican doesn't make me bitter, it makes me correct. And after 4.5 years writing this damn blog, I have been correct every time.

Prove me wrong. Why do you hate freedom? Go hug a tree so I don't hit you with the Hummer!

And Lisa help me here... what is my other catch phrase?

Steve said...

And Stephanie, I really appreciate yours and Andy's (muhahahah) internets friendship over the years...

Thanks for reading and there is no end to my bitterness. I am saving one up for Obama right now on that North Korean ship... He needs to take it down like the pirate hijackers! USA!!!1!! USA!!!11!!! (Lisa there is the other one but I stole it from Steve O)

Anonymous said...

I don't remember what it is but I will post it when I remember.
He last night about 200 people went to our local rep's town hall meeting to show him our opposition to his rubber stamping of Pelosi and Obama's Cap and Trade and Socialized Healthcare. It was awesome we chanted outside during the whole meeting and disrupted a quite community. I felt so liberal (so code pinkish)!! I will post the You Tube vid when they put it up on the site. He had to call the cops for an escort back to his car and we all followed him around the block yelling "BISHOP-PELOSI-FRANK-NO DIFFERENCE"
In an upscale liberal neoghborhood we got 2 thumbs down from passer-by's and about 50 thumbs up.
Nuff said!

Lisa

Stephanie said...

For what it's worth, I totally agree with you, this was all a marketing scheme taking advantage of that family.

Perhaps you should work on your delivery, correct is coming across as bitter ;)

Not sure where my freedom hating comes from, must be all the snow ;)

Anonymous said...

http://skylightvideo.blogspot.com/search/label/AlLTERNATIVE%20NEWS


Here's the video but no me.

c@d said...

"Go hug a tree so I don't hit you with the Hummer!"

Ok, twice in a week, I'm not going t o let it slide this time. You didn't drive a Hummer, you drove a lifted Chevy with a lot of body work. :P

Steve said...

Steph,

"Why do you hate freedom?" is a typical troll comment on a political blog. I use it well into the discussion of something, like days later... instead of the beginning. It works on both conservative or liberal blogs and occasionally you get people to answer it. The liberal blames Bush, the conservative usually blames the removal of Christ in public schools.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid last wish. Pixar makes nothing but trite shit.

Hey there!! said...

Being a Republican doesn't make you right. It means you have an opinion. Nothing wrong with that, just don't be a fucking idiot about it. Dummy.

Hey there!! :) said...

Also, before you make yourself look stupid (again), I'm not a liberal. Or a conservative. I have my own opinions, I don't parrot other people. Try it! :)