Another Mean Post...

Flew home from Seattle this afternoon and I must say, the Seattle to Sacramento flight is one of the best views if you are stuck in a window seat.

It would have been even better though if the old lady in front of me would have learned how to shut up!

First off, she told her husband that the next time she went to Alaska, she wanted to see icebergs and that she did not want to wait another 30 years to get to go. Doh! Zing! Yeeouch!! I'd file for divorce like right there or at least crack her upside the head.

Then, after noticing that we were totally boarded she wanted to know why we weren't leaving. She had all these thoughts that she spoke out loud like, "I bet not all of the luggage is not loaded." Or "There's something wrong up front." Or some other lame excuse. The funny part is when she looked back out the window and said, "Oh we can't leave because those planes are on the runway and we shouldn't back."

I sighed... Looking at my watch with like 10 minutes to spare before the scheduled take off.

So we were off... And I thought we were done. Especially when the drink cart came out and she had her white zinfandel with the screw top.

The cool thing about this flight is that it goes right over the Cascades. You see Mt. Rainier at takeoff. What's left of St. Helens, Mt Hood, Shasta... Lassen all the way down.

She's like, "Look everyone Shasta Lake. We're getting close!!!" All loud and energetic.

I am thinking, no dipshit... That's actually Crater Lake.

The whole left side of the plane of old people coming over to the right side of the plane to gasp and ahhh at Crater Lake and this old bitch is insistant that we're over Shasta Lake.

"Ding... this is your captain, if you look out the right you can see Crater Lake".

"Oh..." the lady says, "It's Crate Lake, look everyone..."

I shook my head in disbelief as I looked at my calendar on my Treo.

So some time passes and we actually get over Shasta and then the lake the whales were trying to get to, 250 miles north of Sacramento.

Her husband rightfully points out Shasta and then the lake.

So there is some silence... we're descending and we come across this big city and she goes, "Hey look it's Rocklin and Sun City."

Finally I am done with the stupidity of announcing geographical landmarks and I say forcefully," That's not Rocklin or Sun City... That's Yuba City and how you can tell is that old mountain range called the Sutter Buttes that's right outside of town off of Hwy 20 to Colusa.., Rocklin is 50 miles away on the other side of the plane, OK!!!"

She turns around and looks at me... I just stared forward like nothing happened.

This kind of crap really pisses me off!!

The Proving Ground

Parrott's Ferry Rd between Murphys and Columbia

Okay... this is a gnarly stretch of road between Murphys and Columbia State Park. That chunk of water is New Melones Resevoir which takes it's water from what I believe is the Stanislaus River off the Sierra Nevada. It's a pretty steep grade down to that water from Columbia. The road isn't the curviest or the steepest but ask any kid that grew up in Calaveras County and they'll tell you about some kid that died on this road. When I was in high school I used to haul ass in my Toyota pickup over that bridge on the left of rectangle.

I had to make a trip to Sonora this morning, so hey... lets test the Porsche out on the way back. I got to the top of the hill with no one in front that I could see. My iPod was on shuffle and like it was meant to be, Sympathy for the Devil started playing. I opened the windows and sun roof, hit the sport mode between the seats and went into Tiptronic. I gave myself some boundaries though... I kept the thing in manual and never let it get out of 3rd gear. Also if the tires squealed I'd ease it back a little. Never crossed the yellow line. I was able to keep it about 50 most of the way. (Speed limit is 25). Holy Crap! It handled better than the BMW we had a few years back. Just darted in and out of each turn and hugged the road tight. You would not expect this handling from a 4500lb car but dude... It was awesome!! I want to bring the 914 back next time!!

Trivia factoid: Most of the Back to the Future filming took place in Jamestown just south of here. Also Mark Twain lived outside of Columbia.

(Used Microsoft's Streets and Trips 2007 to make the map)

Nothing Like Knocking Back A Cold One With Your Son...

Elijah sits back enjoying his first brew. Amazing how natural it is for a 10 month old to go for Daddy's beer bottle.

Now The Trouble Begins..

It's like the laughter of the comic book guy on the Simpsons when Bart, Milhous and Martin fought over the rare comic book they pooled their money to buy.

Or even like the commercial where the couple is racing home to take a shower in their highly wasteful Kohler shower. Remember the lady is nearly naked pounding on the front door screaming "no fair you had it last time!"

I got home from a two day trip and last night I am like, "I am going to drive the Porsche around the park real quick." to my wife...

And she says, "Which one? The new one or the old one?"

I look at her knowing she can't drive the 914 because it's a stick and the seat doesn't move, and I am like duh... the new one, and I thought to myself, "Are you going somewhere?"

What a dilema? Which Porsche to drive? Gee... I don't know. The white one with the brown interior doesn't quite define it!

(I don't think I am gonna have many readers left soon!)

I Am Such An Ass... But There IS No Substitute For A Porsche!

Well... I got rid of the Hummer last night. It's gone. No more four wheeling over parking blocks. No more getting chastised by liberals who think they know how the environment works by watching Al Gore like the neo-cons know how we were all created by what Jerry Falwell said. I'll miss the Hummer but as one brilliant Beatle once said, "All Things Must Pass". (Darling Wife's carbon footprint is still 9.9 which is STILL a full 10 points lower than average where Al Gore says we need to be, Teeny)

Scratch off life goal number 276. I bought a Porsche, the Cayenne seen pictured above. (Heh, the cheapest one!) But still 295hp SUV that goes 0-60 in 7.5 seconds. A whole 4 seconds faster than the Hummer. The scary speed though occurs when you need to pass the old lady going 50 in the fast lane. Holy Crap! 50 to 80 occurs in less than a second. It's a real sports car disguised as a grocery getter. The white color is nearly the same as my 914. The interior color is nearly the same as well. Sort of a homage to my ole 1974... I can at least drive this new Porsche in the rain without fear of dying when I step on the brakes!

All wheel drive, four wheel disc brakes and like 8 air bags. It's got snow settings for those trips to Tahoe. The exhaust sound is unbelievable. Handling is crazy nimble. We even got seat and steering wheel heaters for those cool 40 degree mornings we get in the winter. I missed the BMW when we got the Hummer but with a child, how can you do it these days with all the crap you need to haul for the kid? I am glad to get that luxury back. This is the only car I have to buy for the family.

(Okay lawryde, you can go ahead and change that side bar link again on your blog.)