Hell Just Froze... Seriously...

We are ALL DEAD.

I am a closet Metallica fan. I just love their old stuff. Many of the old classics like Master of Puppets and And Justice For All have been long gone. Broken, scratched and stolen. Maybe because the CD's made me angry or something, I don't know. Maybe it was that whole rebellious phase I went through in college. Or maybe it was the calming effect it left on the back of my neck, head and body after I rushed the stage around 5 years ago with my brother during "One". We were bad asses that one moment in time!!!

But dude... Lars Ulrich needs the money finally and I obliged. iTunes has the ENTIRE METALLICA CATALOG for sale. Just 4 Clicks and it's off to Never Neverland... (That is so wrong, I cannot believe I said that)

Lars, I swear I never downloaded one of your songs for free of Napster because I thought it was wrong to steal another artist's songs. I mean, it's your art man. We deserve the privilege to pay for it.

I just dropped $40 on 4 albums. I mean dude, c'mon, Leper Mesiah (straight thrash the last 2 minutes) and Orion are straight up thrash dude and a great bridge to Damage Inc. Master of Puppets, all time best Metal Album if not the best album of all time. (Who's Next, by the Who is the best but that is for another post)

Or maybe... the sticker shock that I dropped $40 on Metallica tomorrow will finally start labor. 40th week is upon us. Maybe I'll crank this stuff up tomorrow when I am down here "working". Yeah that'll start it too.

Obey your master pulling the strings!!!
Vote Republican!!!

How To Install an IKEA Faucet

Okay... since I am getting an awful lot of hits regarding this, I might as well write a post on it. I have been getting like 40-50 hits a day from some frustrated IKEA consumer who has bought this nice looking, cheap, High Quality faucet for their new bathroom sink and then they find nothing at the local hardware store or from some racist Home Depot representative in the plumbing aisle who frowns at you because you bought something Swiss. (Note: IKEA is Swedish, not Swiss)

Assemble and install your sink, cabinet as instructed including the faucet. Stop before you install drain pipe. Then begin here:

1. Don't panic. I spent a few hours and a few gallons of gas driving back and forth to different hardware store to buy the right fittings to make this thing works.
   
2. You will be able to adapt your existing water with ease and little cost
3. Tools needed: Crecent wrench, 5/16" Nut Driver, Wire Snips, Pliers
4. Materials needed: (2) 3/8" Male Flare fitting to 3/8"MPT, (2) 3/8" FPT to 5/16" Hose Barb Fitting. (4) Hose Clamps and 6 to 10 feet of 5/16" ID Braided Tubing.
5. DO NOT EVEN TRY TO TAKE THOSE METAL STAINLESS TUBES OFF THE IKEA FAUCET TO PUT YOUR OWN FITTING ON THE BOTTOM OF THE FAUCET. IT'S METRIC!!! AMERICAN HARDWARE STORE FITTINGS DON'T WORK. DO NOT TRY, IT WILL ONLY PISS YOU OFF FURTHER.

So this is what you do. Attach the flare 3/8" fitting to your existing water lines you pulled from your old faucet. Attach the second 3/8" to Hose Barb to your new flare fitting. Hose clamp about 2-3 feet of braided hose and clamp it to the barb using one of the hose clamps and your 5/16" Nut Driver. Make sure these fittings are as tight as you can get them. Be sure you use Teflon Tape for the threads. (See photo below)

Next take the braided hose and some WD40 and using your pliers, insert one of the pipes coming out of the IKEA faucet into the braided hose. Guide it up as far as it goes, probably 3 to 4 inches. Hose clamp the braided hose to the pipe tight about 1/2 from the end of the hose up the pipe. Note: this is tedious and you may have to bend the IKEA pipes slightly to accompish this. They will not break but can pinch if bent too far. IF you struggle getting this to not leak use a second clamp a 1/2" below the other.

Here's what it should look like:



This has and will not leak the way I have set this up. You'll notice my hoses are long and this is because I may have to move sink away from the wall from time to time to clean the drain pipe. My house is a hundred years old so you can make this work. You just have to really get the hose clamps tight. The PSI in my house is just around 100. There are no leaks doing this this way.

I have had the sink and faucet installed for 4 months now and we have been VERY HAPPY!! So much so, that I will buy another one soon for the upstairs bathroom. I hope this helps those of you who get here via Google looking for help installing your faucet.

Clerks 2: Why Being A Slacker has it's Priviledges!

We got to the movie matinee early and sat in the back of the theatre. Usually we only go to a movie if it has consistently good reviews from all the major players. Our buddy, Ebert is still out, though I think he would have rated this movie high. Joel Siegel ripped the movie and even stormed out of the critic's screening. You can hear Kevin Smith tearing up old man Joel on the radio here. Or you read Kevin Smith tearing into Joel here on his ViewAskew Website. Whatever, they are critics and I shelled out $28 bucks for some cheap tickets and over priced Popcorn and soda.

I am not gonna tell you what Clerks 2 is about but if you liked Mallrats and the first Clerks, you'll love this flick. It is absolutely hilarious. Jeff Anderson should be nominated for an Oscar for his role as Randall Graves. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is absolutely priceless and too much to remember so you have to see it again. It's definately on the movie list for Christmas.

Dante (not Braxton, pictured in the post below) and Randall are my generation. There is a lot of me out of both of them. The feeling of waiting to do something big with their lives but being so cautious about it that they don't want to shed their own vunerability. In the end of the movie they finally get what they both want. How they get there is indescribable really. Let's say it involves a Donkey in a fast food restaurant and that is about as much as I will say about it.

Being that slacker though at 32 years old, like these guys, would be an enviable postion for me. No responsibilty other than work. Good friends and the unique ability to entertain themselves over trivial things in life. Sometimes you wish that can be you. Doing some menial job, for low pay with no car payment, mortgage or any real debt. How amazing would it be to just pour someone's coffee or wash someone's car and then bitch at them when they leave the place for their faults? Of course, how could I trade what I have. I am lucky. My wife is just as lucky. We work hard everyday to achieve some level or bar we set for ourselves. And everything is worth it, except just for a short time, I'd like to go back to that... just waiting on people in thirty second increments and having utter distain for their flaws.

Sounds like fun to me... If you like Kevin Smith, he's made a great comeback with Clerks 2.

Damn You Braxton Hicks!!!

This is Dante Hicks, not Braxton Hicks

If you ever see this guy, Braxton Hicks, I want to kick his butt. Feeding my wife with all that pain every 5 minutes for two hours, dragging my butt out of bed to the hospital because Kaiser said, "C'mon in, it could be the real deal!!". Save us the trouble!! Some of us were sauced on back pain medicine, half asleep, with an iPod strapped to his ears, listening to "Ok Computer".

If you see this guy Braxton Hicks... Tell him I am looking for him...

Total Carnage!!!: A $300 Moon Shot.

This is what happens when you swing too hard and hit the ball off the heel. Best drive I have hit in months. Maybe 250 yards or so off the tee, dead straight. The club head went around 75 yards. I screamed an explictive and my friend Josh thought it was my back or something or that I was complaining about the drive. I was pretty pissed and looked like an ass holding my shaft in the full swing position. I broke a 5 Wood on the same hole exactly one year ago, off the tee.