Steve Pimps Some Wine...

Calaveras County is not known for much except, Mark Twain's Jumping Frog, the Zodiac Killer and psycho killers Charles Ng and Leonard Lake. However...

They have some fine wines.

Let's have a look shall we?

Chatom Winery located along Hwy 4 before you get into Murphys is a great little first impression of the wine country here. The owner is Gay. Seriously! (note: pun) My favorites are the Syrah, the Sangiovese and the Merlot. They have two Syrah's actually. One's a reserve that is pretty good and bold Syrah. The Sangiovese is light and dry. Good turkey wine actually though a nice pasta would be great as well. I am usually terrified of Merlots. Don't get me wrong but after the movie Sideways, I know why you should be scared. Merlot is a sucker wine. It makes people believe they can taste, "a red wine". But Chatom's Merlot is very tasty and would go great with a nice steak. Chatom's Chardonnay is good but white win is for...

Zucca Mountain's tasting room in Murphy's is located in a basement of a 19th Century building. I am not tall, just 5 foot 10 and I nearly banged my head along the low ceiling of the tasting room and with my back it was difficult to limbo into the door, especially after you have been tasting a while. However... again another Merlot hit my taste buds. I envisioned sitting inside Lawry's Steakhouse, diving into a Lawry Cut Prime Rib. It was really subtle in taste. Again Calaveras County also produced another fine Sangiovese. Zucca Mountain's to me was light and delicate and very smooth. I also enjoyed their Tesoro which was a Merlot/Syrah blend. All of the tasters made a big stink about the Barbera. I was not seeing it. Too bland for a Barbera. I know my Italians and this Barbera was made far from Italy.

Black Sheep Winery is a great for bargain hunting. Their Syrah is 10 bucks a bottle and could be easily sold for 30 or 40 in a upscale grocery store. A case right now is $72. 72 bucks!!! How can you go wrong. I enjoy their Sangiovese as well. For some reason, I don't like the Cabs up here. Maybe at 2000 feet, the grapes get too cold or maybe it's too warm in the summer and the grapes don't cool enough. I don't know, Alexander Valley down in Sonoma County has the best Cabs.

Millier Winery has a small tasting room along Main Street in Murphys. Used to be an old gas station. We (my sister in law and I) were both floored by the "Ghiradeli" Zinfindel. Zins go either way with me. Either they are too fruity or too dry. This one reached the middle and hung there. The old heavy handed pourer, poured us some hefty tastes which really set up the buzzes for today. They had a great Syrah but I only gave myself a $100 budget today. Easily spent up here on 4 good bottles of wine.

If you bargain shop and basically just like red... you can do that too. Great wines at low prices at Kautz, Black Sheep, and Stevenot.

It's a habit up here for us to hit these wineries. My wife's family grew up here and her parents live close to Main Street here in Murphys. Very addicting habit and even if you don't like to buy wine, it's good for a free buzz.

The Psychology of Steve

So I went to the psychologist dude today and in a nutshell... (get pun?) there is nothing out of the ordinary with me.

The guy was totally gentle. I mean, seriously... you cannot prescribe a drug to a person that would make them this mellow. He spoke quietly and soft, almost apologetic. The guy sounded like the teacher from Beavis and Butthead. I kept thinking this the whole time which probably made me seem happier than normal because I kept trying to hold back a smirk or two.

Anyhow... I apparently need to sleep more. I need to find a way to get to the deep stage 4 sleep. I may not be there long enough because I have an irregular sleep pattern. I gotta figure out away to shut it down and night and knock it back a few notches before when I get home from work. This abnormal pattern contributes to the real physical pain I apparently am suffering because I get all tense and stuff through out the day because of the lack of sleep. He actually told me to sleep in the afternoon when I can. Yeah, that is possible...

Also he asked me to try some Oxycontin at bedtime. Of course, I perked up when he said that. I'd look really Republican to my friends then... Go Rush Limbaugh... He denied that I'd ever get that far but if I needed some more pain help to try that out. Yeah that sounds cool... hmmm.... Not!

I got a sleep chart and a list of herbal supplements for my diet to go home with otherwise. I guess it is time for the spinal tap er uh, Lumbar Puncture next to make sure I don't have some spinal fluid disease.

Kewl Beans!

Well, He'd Better Blog Something!!

I did not participate in any 9/11 discussion yesterday other than where I was during that time, which was on the couch watching it all at 6 AM, puking my guts out from a bad flu I had. I only remember how eerie my neighborhood was that night when my wife and I went for a walk. It was just so damn quiet. Really interesting experience.

Gonna see a "shrink" on Friday! Yeah, that is cool stuff... A "shrink". Woo hoo... Well not really a shrink per se, but a psychologist. So no cool drugs to play with! This is part of my pain management thing I have been working on. My back, neck and wrist all still hurt from time to time but screw it, I play golf and strum my guitar anyway. (As my left hand slowly goes numb on the keyboard) I happen to be pretty fast typing on the keyboard but I notice lately with my hands, I tend to have a few more typos than normal, which is kind of weird. Something I should tell the dude I guess. I tend to hurt more in tense situations too. Like when I can't find my golf ball when there is money on the line or if I am stuck in traffic or if some snotty Cheeto fingered brat on a plane is bouncing his hard plastic green truck off my dome or something. Things I do enjoy like work aren't too tense in and of themselves. I like seeing "my people" even if only once a month, I like seeing them, spending time, helping them make money or save money or whatever it is I actually do that pays the bills. (Note: I still refrain from telling you people what I do for a living. It carries it's own mystique but half the regular readers are friends and well, they know) But really, what am I going to tell this psychologist dude on Friday? I know:

Y'all don't know what it's like, being male, middle-class and white...

Yeah, that'd go over well eh? Especially if he's not white...

Damn... Now I am sounding like our Governor. At least he is not gonna raise our taxes like Angelides. I swear, if ole Phil get's elected over Arnold, I am moving out of state because this hell hole is gonna get twice as expensive in a heartbeat. Dude, will repeal Prop 13 or something and jack our property taxes. He'll tax hard alcohol which will put a bind on my Whiskey drinking. (It's after Labor Day, start up the Knob Creek) I could go on... but why...

What's the point? Anyhow... Live strong peeps!!! Off to see Elijah some more!!

Freakonomics vs. The Spawn of Satan

Finaly back home. I spent the week in the upper midwest playing "corporate guy". I must say Minnesota is a beautiful state... it sucks it gets so cold there.

Anyhow, on the way back there was like no direct flight at a convenient time. I had to stop off in Utah. It was like 2 plus hours from Minneapolis to Salt Lake City and I was lucky to have a window seat... so I thought!!!

35 F was my seat and you guessed it 35 F was the last seat, by the window in the very back of the plane. Dude, I was the first one there and it sucked being so far back. I knew I was screwed with my bad back and all as well. But I had my new book "Freakonomics" and I was gonna be intent on reading anyway since it was such a long flight.

So after I took my seat at the window, the dude who had the aisle seat shows up and he is huge. I mean he is like 6' 8" to 6' 10" and he was just big. He could not stand up fully and he almost took up two seats! So I actually was kinda happy because they announced it was a full flight. I figured the guy was so big he probably bought two seats. So I was gonna have the coolest seat on the plan because I wouldn't be packed in.

Around a minute before the plan door shuts I see this lady walking slowly to the back of the plane. I mean she is going slow.... looking at her feet every 2 or 3 seconds. When she finally reached her destination, which happened to be my row... She revealed why she was walking so slow. Her 18 month old son, binky in his mouth and little green truck. Goliath stood up and let her in. Then "Slam!" right in the face, little "Chucky" hits me with the green truck. I am like, "WTF!" inside but I say politely, "Gee how old? my son was born about a month ago--" and I am cut off while she says humorously, "Just you wait!"

Okay, so we're packed now... I reach up and crank that fan near the lights on and point the one over the lady next to me my direction as well, because my claustrophobia is now kicking in. Yes, I am clausrophobic but as long as I have a fan on and I can breath fresh air, I am totally fine.

The plane takes off and little "Chucky" starts, first pulling my book then he does the running thing with his legs off of the seat in front of us. And he just lets out this total, Chris Cornell-like wail (listening to new Audioslave album while writing this) and I am like, just get this plane up to 10,000 feet so I can bust out my iPod. I am thinking, 2 hours of this will be too much. What if I have to pee? What happens then? 4 people in one row?

"Chucky's" mom explains how good he was the previous flight but when I asked her when they flew into St. Paul, she says..."Oh three nights ago, we took the red eye!" No kidding? Ya think he slept because he was actually tired? Because it was late? It's 5:30pm for Christ's sake!! The little dude is amped... The sun is still up... What are you thinking? I so want to say all that but I am polite.

10,000 feet and I finally get the iPod going so I can tune out the kid and get to "Freakonomics" (good book by the way, especially the part where he talks about the Economics guy joining the crack gang in Chicago). I hit random on my iPod and up comes the appropriate "I wanna tune the screamer out next to me" songs in succession.

• Metallica's Disposable Heroes
• Hum's Stars
• Samiam's My Time by the Dime
• Rancid's Salvation

Good times I tell you... almost 20 minutes of pure aggression that would drown out anything. Then "Smack" I am hit with the green truck again but this time it's on the ground at my feet. I got the "sorry" look from the mom and I am like, "Dude! c'mon". "Chucky" is crying and screaming and he wants his truck back, so I reach down like a contortionist to get it and I hit that right nerve in my neck and back and it was like a lightning bolt from Thor's hammer through my spine. I got the truck but I swear I thought I was gonna cry it hurt so bad and the bad thing was, I could not move. I literally was frozen waiting for the pain to subside. After a minute or so I was able to move and hand the truck back. I know the mom could tell I was hurt, so she got up and walked "Chucky" up and down the aisle for awhile. I shook my head at Goliath a bit and he smirked saying how screwed I was.

Well... we finally headed for decent and I had to pull off the iPod. The lady and the Spawn of Satan came back to sit down. The kid was restless as ever opening the tray table as the mom shut it and this repeated for minutes and then the kid was hungry. So the mom busts out some Cheetos. Cheetos!!! To an 18 month old kid? The kid had orange dust all over the place in minutes. And then after that? Raspberry Fig Newtons. Holy Crap! No wonder the kid was so amped and out of control, he was being fed garbage. Empty calories man... pure energy. I wonder if he gets a Red Bull at night to go to bed?

Drunk Guy at the KFC...

So... I went off tonight to the ATM to get some cash for the week and deposit a check I got. And wouldn't you know it, there was a KFC/A&W right next door to the bank. I had the hankerin' for some Kentucky Fried Chicken despite the whole "cruelty of animals" thing that KFC does before they deep fry them. (I know, I just made ya think about the whole de-beaking thing... gobble gobble...) (oops that's turkey not chicken)

Anyhow, wouldn't you know it there was a grip of people in the place getting a few buckets of chicken for their hungry families. There was a useless rent-a-cop on duty with his badge sewn on to his shirt. I almost laughed when I saw him. Sorry, but seriously, when I walk into a fast food place, I'd like to know who's who. You know... who you shouldn't look at because of their gang affiliation or who you should look at because they are fun to look at, like the rent-a-cop who I'd bust in half in two seconds if it ever went down.

I'd also like to know where the exits are, including the ones behind the restaurant because if some psycho runs in with an AK-47 or a sawed off Remmington 12 gauge because he lost his assistant manager's job to the freckle faced kid that shows up on time and stays late, I'm freaking bailing. I totally want nothing with that.

Today though... drunk guy was there. For some reason I knew this when I rolled up in the Hummer bumpin' my Ben Fold's Rockin' the Suburbs off of my iPod. All the spots downtown are labeled compact which means to me that the parking spots are small and you gotta take care when navigating these. An H3 fits tight into a compact spot and still has room to swing the doors open fully. I parked in back by the fence so no one would mind, though. But drunk guy was already there in his 1990 turquoise green Ford 150 LONG BED stretched acrossed four spots. "What a dick!" I thought as I passed by it to the door.

So I am like three spots back in line, right? Well... make it two actually. Basically there was this dude with a... you guessed it, Budweiser hat one with his shirt unbuttoned like he was cool or something and some fresh faced early twenty something who was waiting behind him in what he thought was a line. Then there was me, in my Tommy Bahama, sandals and pocket safari shorts.

I'm sitting here watching and the kid in front asks, "Are you in line?" to the drunk guy.

"Um... do you see a line?" says 'Bud'.

The little Asian guy that works behind the counter decides to get further involved then he already is by saying, "Can I help who's next?" for like the third time.

"I'm waiting for my food, buddy... and I am gonna stand here," interjects 'Bud'.

The kid suddenly gets pissed, and I am thinking, this is so me 10 years ago... I was just like this kid. He just wanted to order and some dick was standing in his way. The kid was ready go a few rounds but the drunk guy had the size and position and rent-a-cop is nowhere in sight. I felt I needed to act fast because this kid could get dropped right in front of me. I perked up, y'know, flexing my chest and got up to full posture and I just about said, "I got his back, get the F--- out of line!!!" But before I got that off, the greasy looking dude in the shades and black Raider hat with matching white tank top that I have just now noticed says... "Hey man, let the kid order... get out of line man..."

'Bud' shouts out a few explicitives and pretends to go at the Raider Nation guy. I am thinking, "OK here it goes, right now... rent-a cop better get up here and call someone or something, Raider guy likes to fight. I have heard about these guys on Rome. They took a Miami Dolphins fan down in the bathroom at the playoffs a few years back and peed all over him, right in front of his kids. These guys are just straight up, hard". But dude, Raider guy suddenly changes the subject on us all while we were in suspense because him and 'Bud' are "buddies". They had just hit few cases of beer hard all day at the condo or something and Raider guy was reigning his friend in because he was an ass. They went off and got their rootbeer and stuff and left. I got my food soon after.

Sure enough, they got into the so-1990's green truck straddling the back lot. The cruised by the H3 slowly and gave me the cool car nod.

Silver and black are bad colors.