Monday, January 08, 2007

Steve Takes the Needle

Sometimes it is rather hard to come up with blog topics and other times, like today, there are so many ideas they are hard to choose from. But this should be a good story:

So I am back from the steroid shot experience and I don't feel any different yet. What an experience though. I had these visions of this giant needle going up the top of my butt crack into the base of my spine and me screaming in pain while chewing the end of the table off with my blunt set of incisors.

Nothing like that...

Not at all... but the story is interesting...

I hate pain, I hate that wincing feeling and I especially hate needles (quiet lawryde, Mr. Got some really cool Tattoos so I can deal with needles no problem). So the whole time, I was thinking about the feeling I mentioned above with the whole biting off the end of the table stuff. I was so stressing out when I got in there. They walked me in and took my vitals. My heart was pumping a cool 120 bpm and my blood pressure was like 185 over 100. Not at massive coronary levels but dude, I was freaking.

So the doc reviews the chart and my pain threshold. He describes some things. I found out through the process that his brother was my Biology teacher in high school. Told me the worst part was the novocaine. The rest was easy.

So the plop me on the table and roll up my shirt. I am laying there. And like my heart rate is like 145 bpm.

The doctor goes into this story... "So have you ever bought anything from Dell..."

"No," I say, " I am an Apple guy.."

"So let me tell you this story anyway... watch it, this is gonna get cold. I want this wireless keyboard."

And he goes on and on with this horrific story about Dell and getting blue tooth to work with the new Windows Vista system coming out. Meanwhile, my heart rate is cruising. 160, 170, 175... And I am slowly not paying attention. I mean, I can talk for hours about computers. I am no expert but, I have first hand experience with Windows and the stupidity of Bluetooth with it.

He's like,"So they said it wasn't a technical problem it is a sales problem so I had to go to my sales guy and WHOA!!! Slow down there buddy, at 185 bpm we're gonna need to get the crash cart."

I'm like, "I know. Get on with it already. This is totally normal for me to freak out."

I am taking the deepest breaths possible and he is carrying on with the story trying to take my mind off of it. A little pinch from the novocaine and it was over. Never felt the shot hitting my spine or anything.

Once my heart rate came down to like 140 bpm when they were cleaning up, I was totally focused. I am like, "Oh yeah, I tried installing this bluetooth device to my work computer which is a PC and the device driver wasn't signed by Microsoft but you can do this..." And I go on diagnosing the problem.

Pretty funny. They were so cautious. They thought I was gonna drive out of there at first and wanted to make sure my wife pulled the Hummer around the corner.

We'll see how this works.

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