Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Dental Hygiene and Easy Listening

I went to the dentist today for my four month check up. I go every four months for cleanings instead of six months because my insurance is cool and pays for all of it. (See, I am a Republican, I search out good insurance instead of waiting for the government to entitle me to it) My dentist is cool though. Completely painless...

But as usual I had no cavities. And what got me this trip was the dental hygentist. Mostly you'd think it was a "chick" job. But not at this place... It's a dude and a straight dude at that. Anyhow this guy is meticulous when it comes to cleaning teeth. He's got all the gadgets out. Pulls all the stops, works fast and doesn't ask too many questions. No unnecessary small talk. I hate it when you go to one of these cleaners and they ask questions that involve more than yes or no answers. It freaking sucks when they do that.

So there I was laying there getting my teeth scraped. I like all the things they do to create a "calm" atmosphere. Light blue color on the walls. Clouds in the lights with hot air balloons. Landscaping outside the window... And...

The radio tuned to the adult contemporary station. Let me tell you... I was numbed by it!

It's like we went through Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", Whitney Houston's "I Will Always, Love You", Madonna's "True Love", Billy Joel's "My Life", Bryan Adams, Phil Collins...John Mayer... Boys II Men. It went on and on. I was there for an hour. And it was like on cue, that it was some easy song that you knew that was some big hit. What I thought was hilarious was that the hygenist made the sales pitch regarding why you should floss every waking moment of your life, during the song "My Life" by Billy Joel:

I don't care what you say anymore this is my life... Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone!

I was about to bust up laughing because you can almost think that these guys are in a cult or some whacky religious group like the JW's when they talk about flossing. It's like they are saying, "You know you really need to do this... to be a BETTER PERSON and a BETTER FATHER!!!" or something. Like the whole world depends on it and missing a days worth of flossing is like not filing your income taxes. They really sell it hard. I floss once in a while and brush with a Sonic Care tootbrush. No cavities. I go visits without any problems. Sure. I had a wisdom tooth pulled last year I wrote about somewhere on this blog but that doesn't count. Flossing could not save that tooth. But these guys equate not flossing to sinning.

It's kind of sad if you think about it....

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