Monday, November 06, 2006


Santa Elijah, The things we do to people when they sleep.

Been a while since I had a good rant about something but I got one and here goes. I title it:

The Food Court: No lady, I think you were behind me!

My sister in law is gonna crack up at this but it deserves to be on this blog... Saturday my wife, her sister, Elijah and I pack up the Hummer and head to the mall for some pictures of Elijah in his obnoxiously cute Santa outfit. We get to the picture place and are ushered right in for a photo session that included this photo. How can you pass it up, eh?

So we get done and are hungry so we head up to the food court. My wife and her sister head over to the Japanese place and I hang back with Elijah. The food court is pretty packed but not too bad. Lots of people stuffing their faces with completely unhealthy food all around. You could just smell the grease. Anyhow, I scoped the place out while I sat with Elijah. I wanted something good, not a burger or a slice of pizza at Sbarro's but something that quenched my hunger and a beer! What I found was a hot dog/sausage place and I saw some beer taps. Beer at the mall, good times.

So when the ladies came back I went off to the sausage place for a Bratwurst and some beer. One dude in line with a kid, placing an order. I wait. I just stand, deciding which beer to get not named Bud, Coors or Miller or with the suffix Lite or Light after the name. People are building up behind me, a lady with her kid... some other guy... it was forming pretty good. I started the line. Behind the guy with the tan shirt plus I was there first, before the people who now walked up later. I was "in-line to be next". It was clear. I WAS NEXT. The lady behind the register nodded my way, with the "Hi can I help you look". So it was technically now official... dude in tan shirt has his food... he paid and he is stepping aside. The lady behind the counter, working for the sausage place, is presenting me with clear, non-verbal communication. I was greeting her with a smile, it was reciprical. It was two way communication. We connected... All systems go.. and as I take a breath to say what I want to order, the bitch behind me, steps around me and attempts to order "Just an Ice Tea, please".

I am not a bad guy... really I am not. And it wasn't until after I say, "Dude, WTF?" did I notice her 3 year old brat she had in tow. I interrupt her order and go, "What do you think you are doing?" She's like stunned... I say, "It was pretty clear to the people behind me, the nice lady ready to take my order and anyone else who has stood here the last 5 minutes that... I WAS NEXT!!!"

She's like..."Go 'head... go.." Glancing down at her daughter and pulling her back like I was some mean man with the grey t shirt or something.

Without saying "Thank you" or anything I turn away, smile, and place my order and ask if the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is truly pale or something to artificially extend my order time. The whole time I feel this glare behind me. I turn and look at the little girl and it was like I ran over her cat. I paid and stepped aside... waiting for my bratwurst and beer.

The moral to the story: We should end liberal entitlements! That's where this lady who tried to cut in front of me gets it from. Because she had a little kid and was gettng "Just an Ice Tea, thanks!" that she was entitled to be in line first before me... who earned my spot for arriving early and having my stuff prepared on time to be next. (C'mon lawryde, what would you have done?)

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