Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Rocky Balboa... The Enduring Hero and My Parallel Universe

(Disclaimer: I will not be spoiling the movie so keep reading. I will say any movie critic, who thinks they are worth anything, is severely fucked in the head if they bash this movie. Yes you are entitled to your opinion and SO AM I!!!!)

Now to the post...

Okay, I went and saw Rocky Balboa tonight. I wasn't the only male in the theater who fits the 20-40 age demographic that grew up on Rocky movies. I think I actually saw the first one when I was three. I saw Rocky II later on but never remembered being in the theater. When I was 9, I saw Rocky III minutes after I saw painful rear ender along the El Camino Real in Millbrae. (Semi into a tan Olds: The Olds lost) I remember them actually showing a cartoon before the movie and I remember seeing Hulk Hogan for the first time. (We didn't have cable) And I saw Rocky 4 with an old friend when I was 12 and later saw 5 when I was like 17 or something.

On Monday, I'll turn 33... (Yeah Christmas but that's for another post) The theme of the movie that stuck: Age. (Okay... no spoilers)

There is one line though, and this doesn't spoil the movie where Rock says "Time moves too fast, too quickly..." And Paulie says, "Time doesn't move fast enough". This is reality to me sometimes. I mean seriously, this is as real of a thought as it gets.

We go through life thinking of all the things we could have done, whether it'd be how we played a sport, something we said that we could not take back in the moment or a seemingly small decision we have made in our lives that had huge repercussions later on. And you can choose to sit back and dwell on these little things. Me... dwelling on the past is a beast of burden. I think a lot about the times where I was picked on in 8th Grade for something as stupid as being from the big city because there is just a meanness in this world. And how much that laid into me as I grew up. How on one hand I made myself stronger by overcoming what I thought was a huge obstacle but at the same time I really had no control over. I still can't let the past go in a lot of situations. In all seriousness, I want to be part of the crowd but I find the crowd suffocating at the same time. A crowd makes me nervous because I fear people so much, yet I want to be there to be the life of the party, to be one with confidence.

Control is something in life we all strive for. Whether it is with money, or a relationship. The well being of a significant other or even something as trivial as our Health Care plans. Control is what makes us really who we are as people. We have what we have because of our control on life. Control makes us happy. When we lose control over something however, that is what we ultimately hang our hats on, what pulls at our hearts, destroys ourrelationships with people and ultimately lack of control is what we succumb to... Hopefully much later in life as possible.

What I found in the movie theater was interesting. Here you had this emotionally deep movie going on. Some laughter from the crowd but the thing I noticed and I had only seen this in a theater once (Fight Club), everyone my age and demographic was up in their seat, on the edge... leaning foward. And even though the fight sequence wasn't until the end (how could that spoil it?) it was like we were watching Rocky's fight for survival, for what made him actually... real. A real fight... the actually boxing match is just a metaphor.

It's hard to imagine a fictious character, totally made up in Hollywood with millions at stake, to walk out of the screen and become real but after 6 movies Rocky did. Now it'd be easy to sit here and say that for the rest of my life I am gonna stand up to the pressures of life or my new found fatherhood or that God awful pain in my back that has been driving me nuts for the past year and be like Rocky and just endure, "push forward" or simply stand toe to toe with challenges and say, "I AM".

The hardest part is actually doing it.

The reward is the pain or angst you do get facing the fear. The outcome is ultimately what we strive to have.

Wouldn't you be happy to walk out of life on your terms, knowing what you did was your best? I'm glad Rocky did...

Will there be a 7? Maybe some day... I hope Rocky's story never ends.

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