Saturday, June 24, 2006

Fluffy Lucy and Ichiban... (And then I bash the weather people)

What a title eh? I figure after having a few Ichiban's this evening and having the new Cracker album blaring over the air waves, it might make for a few cool hits off of Google from some creeps. (Fluffy Lucy is a song off of Cracker's new Greenland album. Buy it!)

We had our final baby shower this evening and it was a couples thing, meaning it was both men and women not some chic' girlie thing. Our baby boy, _____ ______, will sure enjoy all the stuff he got. I bet all ya are waiting for the name and when we decide and the kid is born we'll sure tell you. But names are tough stuff. I mean, you could have some twisted family member get all bent out of shape because of what you didn't name the kid. Thank God, we won't have that problem. It's a crazy thing because everyone wants to know. There could be 7 weeks left. Who knows.

Sacramento has been HOT lately. 105 to 107 the last few days. It's kind of oppressive actually yet, it happens every summer. We get these streaks from now until the end of September where it cranks up over a 100 for a few days and life outside just stops. You can barely work in the yard in the morning. You don't want to drive a car without good air conditioning. It comes with living here. You hate it when it gets this hot but you move to this town any way even though it does, like it has for thousands of years.

What is it though with the weather people? It's a game for these people. I listen to 1530AM in the morning on the way out for work because they are a news channel and I can hear about stuff going on in the area and the world. But when it comes to the weather, and I am sure I have blogged about this before, the news casters make reporting the weather into a dramatic sporting event. First they tease you by saying the something like:

Radio Voice #1: "Any plans out doors this weekend?" (sarcastic tone)
Radio Voice #2:"Oh... you might want to reconsider..."(threatening tone)
Radio Voice #1:"We'll have Eileen's 'Extreme' forecast at the end of the hour"

Ok.. what the hell is that? If you have lived in the town for the last few days you know it's been hot. You open the door after sitting in the car driving from let's say Grass Valley to Yuba City which is like 45 minutes of air conditioned bliss through the foothills and the heat is like BAM!! right into the face! Okay we know it is hot but to sarcastically threaten you into not enjoying the barbeque, going to the hardware store, washing your car or freaking driving your car because of the "increased amount of ozone in the valley"? It's not right! We get it. It's a free country and if we feel like going out, we'll go out. I think this time of year, when it's not raining, it's fine.

So later on when one of the little blond things from one of the local tv stations gets on for her segment the world stops. (Editor's note: I say blond things to mean both good and bad, good as in the one on KXTV 10 in the mornings, and bad as in most of the other one's. And why do they need to be blond these days?) The world stops, and the weather girl gets on for her monologue laced with terms we all know like "warming", no "delta breeze", and "temperatures rising into the 100's" and then there will be some quasi-scientific terms like "inversion layer", "high pressure settling over the high desert" and "cummulus clouds forming over the Western Sierra". It goes something like this:

Dramatic Blond thing: "Oh, it's that time of the year. June is about the time of the year where we see these weather patterns come in. Normally we only see highs historically averaging in the low 90's, but the pattern shows a massive high pressure system over Western Nevada creating an offshore flow. This is typical of the Sacramento Valley throughout the summer. Keep your cat's and dog's indoors and if you are elderly or suffer from chronic asthma don't go outside in the afternoon. It's gonna be a toasty one today"

And then one of the swarmy radio people, usually the guy goes: "Yeah, last week when it was in the 70's I got my garage cleaned out and I am so glad I can sit indoors or by the pool this weekend..."

It's like, "Screw you... we hooked you into listening to the radio longer to hear the weather forecasts and all those extra radio ads from Barney Aldridge and his brand new fixed rate mortgage plans at 1-800-680-4000, which you already know unless you are from out of town or an invalid but we needed to do this for ratings. I at least got my crap I needed to do, done. Piss off you wankers..."

Why does the news world think we care about the weather forecast so much? I wish we had the Family Guy's Angry Black Weatherman: "It's damn hot" And that would be that.

I am so glad I have this blog... thanks for listening.

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