Tuesday, June 20, 2006

People Suck... Well.. Some of Them Do Anyway

People suck!! Each and every last one of them. Unless you are married to me or one of my customers... Then you rule...

See corresponding story on BIO

Let's see. Yesterday, I took the Hummer out to run some errands. We were waiting for some movers to show so we could move our house around without exaggerating my back and arm pain any further.

So... I went to Peet's Coffee near the Safeway locally here in Sacramento. Got the coffee and proceeded to my vehicle when suddenly...

This blonde chick rides up on a bicycle and starts cussing me out for stealing the planet's natural resources, polluting the environment alongside Europe and a whole lot of F-bombs.

I quote (paraphrase actually): "F-bomb your Hum-F-bomber, Mother F-bombing A-bombhole, Mother F-bomber... you F-bombing fascist creep and you're a waste..."

In hindsight this is all very funny. But it's not.

I was actually quite frightened. I mean seriously dude... what the hell was I gonna do if this chick had pig's blood or something she threw at me. Or better yet, a knife or a gun. Could she have been stalking me as I went into Peet's? Did she see me pull up by myself? Was this pariah scouring the parking lot looking for victims to latch onto? I mean serious what the F-bomb did I do?

To top it off... It was like 36 hours ago and it is still bugging the hell out of me. It's all I think about. Did I do something wrong when I bought the car? Absolutely not! If the Federal Government is letting me have it on the road, as one gracious Bring It On reader pointed out, then I should be allowed the freedom to have it. Have you ever been so distraught over something you saw in a parking lot to make you just go ape shit like this lady did? C'mon think about it.

I mean I can think about one time where I might fly off the handle like this but it wasn't in a parking lot. See, two friends of mine were in Vegas getting their marriage license and I had driven them to the court house. While waiting outside the room for my friends, where they take you in for the license, I first watched a pregnant girl walk in with someone that looked like her mom, and older gentlemen that could be her dad and trailing steps behind them was a single guy with the saddest look on his face. I mean this dude was gonna bolt, any minute he could get away. His future father in law could have had a shotgun in his hands the way this kid looked. And they got right in that license line and I actually see the father in law pull the young man forward and hand him a pen. I am like, "No freaking way is that gonna work..." But I kept my mouth shut. Simple. And it is out of my mind. That marriage is probably over by now. But, really it makes for a funny Las Vegas story.

You can be distraught over the war in Iraq. Our recent casualties. The oil prices and pretty much everything related to oil like transportation costs, commodities and corporate profits and that is fine. But don't take it out on your neighborhood Hummer driver. I bought a family car. Have you seen our registry for our baby? Of course not, but seriously, how are you supposed to pack two suit cases, a stroller, diapers, baby clothes, toys and blankets for a long trip in a compact sedan. Freaking impossible and besides, it's an E85 Methanol-Ready vehicle for Christ's sake... Hurry up and support your local farmer, I am all for Methanol!!!


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