Oww!!!!

I did something both stupid yet, memorable yesterday. I took Elijah sledding. Totally awesome. He loved going down the hills in my arms while he and I slid full speed down the hill bumping our away through little jumps on the packed powder. It was awesome. One of my best days with Elijah.

Then comes today. I am doubled over on the ground in massive pain in my back. Hurts real bad. I never should have run down the hills like I did and I am paying for it today. But it was so much fun and Elijah enjoyed himself.

Makes it hard playing with him all day. I finally got him to sit down instead of jumping up and down on Daddy's back while I call the doctor for help. And that is another story... I cannot wait until Friday because I get a new doctor and new insurance that day. I will have more freedoms to find my cause of "the other pains" I feel. Funny talking to the advise nurse though on the phone.

"Where is your pain?"

"Um... middle of my back between my shoulder blades.."

"So your upper back?"

"No middle back... at least that is what I call it..."

"Do you have any numbness in your left leg or arm?"

"Yeah...."

"Do you have shortness of breath?" She says urgently...

"No..."

"Good... so did the numbness start with this pain?"

"No..."

"When did it start...?"

"Um... Almost three years ago."

"Are you taking medication?"

"Um... yeah..."

"What kinds?"

Apparently not the good stuff because the shit ain't working...

"Um... Motrin... yeah"

"How many did you take for your back?"

"Um... like a few hundred or so..."

"AT ONE TIME?!?!!?"

"Um... no... 4 200mg today.., I have taken hundreds for pain over the past few years..."

"How long has your back hurt?"

"3 years... but like this, um... two days... It is a different pain..."

"What else do you take?"

"Lot's of stuff... why? Aren't you the doctor's office, don't you have records of this stuff"

It's like this every time I call the doctor. Because I have regular pain with no real or defined cause, I have to give like a life history of what I have done. And along the way, they think you have had a heart attack or suffered a stroke or are a med junkie or what ever.

They won't see me today so I get to suffer. At least this pain is so bad that it overrides the pain in my arm and leg.

I should change the title of this blog to 35 and dying.

Elijah and I are snuggled on the couch watching Elmo in Grouchland. Elijah impressed me today. I should him the name Elmo on the CD without saying it was Elmo and he was able to sort of sound it out. I said, what is this? And he read each letter. And I asked who's name? And he goes... ELMO!!

I was hoping that we could get haircuts together today but maybe tomorrow...

35...

Today...  Uggh!!!  I am officially old!!

Windows Vista BLOWS!!!!

Never....  Never will I ever install Vista on one of my personal computers.

A relative was over with a new computer and they asked me to set it up for them.

I set up everything... my router and modem through my Apple, right?

Well... while using Vista to connect to my network, which is totally open because I live in the country and there ain't shit anyone can steal anyway.  You can't even probably see my network.

Anyway... I have it open because I can connect my iPod Touch, work computer, XBOX 360 or anything else without issues or having to find some damn key.

Not Vista though... fuck...

It wanted my router PIN.  Fine...

Then with one mistaken click...  It changed my network name, settings and made me have to enter a big ass password on every device...  Fuck that...  Then when I tried to find the password on the Vista computer so I could at least reconnect my other crap back up so I could fix the router, it said the Vista computer was not authorized to be the administrator.  Wait huh?  It changed all the settings to my router, but wasn't authorized?  And then Vista changed the way you find all that shit on XP.

After about an hour of frustration... I figured  out how to delete the network off of Vista and start from scratch after resetting the router.  

It's all good now but that Vista is a pile of crap...  Give me back my Mac OS.  At least it is user friendly for us novice computer geeks.

Turn for the Worst... Almost

And hopefully temporary...

As you know if you have been reading this blog the past 4 years I deal with a lot of freaking chronic pain that no one can figure out which has radically changed my life since 2004.  (Radically...?  Not... just a few things. :))  I don't golf really anymore but that is more of time issue than a pain thing but I hurt like hell swinging a golf club.

I still suck down copious amounts of pain meds, anti-anxiety meds and anti-hyperactivity meds too because I am all wound up over work, life and worry.

Still think it is a disease that is taking over my body and I hope to find it soon in the new year because dammit, I would like to know so I can get relief even if it is just knowing what it is and it didn't have a cure.

Despite everything, I still look ahead, think about growing up, jam on my guitars and now trombone and baritone horn again because I am in a place by myself where I can drag all that shit out and blast away to my hearts content.

Playing trombone again of all things is giving me relief even if I only have the embouchure for 15-20 minutes of blowing on it.  It is funny, because I never took a lesson on a trombone.  Tuba, Baritone, and trumpet... yeah... for years I took lessons.  Trombone?  No one said... this is where 2nd position is or this note goes there, etc.  I learned it by getting a book out, my ear, and by monkeying through.  Good enough to pick up once in a while.  The sound down in there...  down in my gut is still there... and why I played these brass instruments through high school and college.  I was just better than my peers at music.  I did not have natural talent...  I just stayed at it and stayed a very technical player.  The emotion in playing, singing and other stuff I do has come years later.  This week I learned Sound of Silence and Mrs. Robinson on my guitar just to be able to do it.  Playing it in my key and mostly by ear.  Music has been my relief...

But the turn for the worst...  I have been in more pain the past two weeks than I have the past three years.  It's in my neck, arm, wrist and now knee.  My knee hurts like it did when I was 14 and screwed it up wall riding on my skateboard years back and had to have it drained.  I couldn't run for a while with it because it hurt so bad.  Now it is back along with the rest of the shit.  A little swollen.  All of this pain is on the left side of my body.  Also have tingling on the left side of my head once in a while... a few times a week.

I switched medical carriers and starting the 1st I can get a new doctor finally and have options open to trying other things like the UC doctors or Stanford.  So I can't wait... I need to lick this thing.  Or at least know what it is to get the right medication.  I fear it is MS... But MS, I am ready to accept...  Because I would at least know...  Pain is not a good thing to live with especially at 35... which I am next Thursday.

Big Wheels Keep On Turning!!!

Dude, check it out!!!

The Original (well...just like the Original) Big Wheel.  Elijah is gonna be rollin' now!!!

I loved my Big Wheel and went everywhere in it around my little block back in Daly City as a kid.  I have "the scar" to prove it too.  I was the victim of a Big Wheel/Wagon/Trailer Hitch on the back of a Truck accident.  I have this scar on my chin that is totally noticeable after I point it out to people.  17 stitches and it is bright red.

I can't until I Santa give(s) this to Elijah on Thursday.  It will be the shit!

What To Buy The Boy?

I am stuck on gifts. I feel like I need one or two more for Elijah. I got him a bonding gift... A racecar track for he and I. I want to get a remote control car or helicopter as a fun toy to also play together with.

I got him one of those Elmo live dolls back in October when they came out. Tons of little cars too from when Mervyns went out of business. I just think there is something more. He'll be all clothesed out by my mom and his other grandparents. Plus I will fill a stocking with junk too... But I think there just has to be one more $30-$50 item he can get and enjoy for when he comes here.

Hmmmm.... Any ideas my fellow bloggers?

People Can't Drive

I have had bad luck with cars this week. So I decided to write about it. We all remember my post, like 660 posts or so. Remember, Steve versus the Carl's Jr. drive through post when I was a wee lad in 2004?

So like... Tuesday, I wish I had one of those old beat up cars you do not give a crap about with no plates. I was rolling through the fog and came to a stoplight on a two lane highway. I mean it was foggy. You wouldn't realistically want to go more than 45 mph because of the fog and safety driving in it. So I go to take off from the stop light and this lady in an SUV tries to pass me on the right. It wasn't like she was beside me at the start. Plus there were like 5 cars behind me. I didn't realize she was trying to pass either until she ran out of lane. She honked, rode my ass and left her high beams on for the next 5 miles, shutting the off and on as cars passed us the other direction.

She was so uptight, that as cars either pulled in front of me or went slow because of the heavy fog. What a bitch! Then when I hit the freeway she did everything to pass me... only to get cut off by a Semi. Are we that much in a hurry? I am not a crazy driver but I drive 5 miles or so over the speed limit often unless it is by a school or something. I just couldn't believe this lady.

I didn't think anything of this until I hit the Starbucks drive through.

Everything was fine... the line was moving fine. I got my order into the box. There was an SUV in front of me with one of those vanity plates but I can't remember what it said. And so I happened to see what the lady ordered on the screen before I placed my order. She ordered a tall coffee, in a Venti cup, with a pump of carmel or something. I didn't understand why someone would order all these side ventures at starbucks... I just want a latte with an add shot. So she gets to the window and proceeds to SCREAM at the drive through barista. She kept going... and going and going... to the point I noticed like 7 minutes went by. So I hit the horn, and yelled, "C'mon lady, get over it!!" I had no idea at the point what she was yelling about but then she yelled at me to wait... I dropped a few F-Bombs out the window and laid on the horn and didn't let off for like a minute. She got all frustrated and flustered and couldn't be heard by Starbucks. I just laughed my ass off and so did the drive through barista. Merry Christmas lady.

So I had to run an errand up to Sacramento this afternoon and it was such a nice day today (the calm before the wicked cold front we are about to get) I decided to fly up in the Porsche. The back roads to the highway are all under construction so there are some detours to some really crazy roads which I love in the Porsche because you can fly around the curves and shit. I got behind a truck. He wasn't going slow but he wasn't in a hurry either. We turned onto a new road and he just kind of putted along. The passing lane was wide open the other direction so I decided to pass. Suddenly the bastard turned left and holy crap... I gunned it through the dirt on the other side shooting dust and stuff... and then I got back on the road all fish tailing. Just missed his mailbox and I left some cool skid marks to show off to people. The bastard didn't use his signal!!! I think I gave him a heart attack because he sat in the road for a while. I couldn't believe it but I was calm. It was close though dude... Very close...

I thought this was funny

Matt Damon: Oh the Irony of Liberalism

Hey remember a few weeks back when Matt Damon enlightened us with his brilliance (seen above) with his thoughts on Sarah Palin. Basically, he mathematically calculated with an actuary table that McCain would die in his first term.

Well.... I get it Obama won and we must all suffer the consequences live with the results as happy Americans.

But wait...

Guess who smokes? I shit you not! Apparently the Savior himself likes to burn cancer sticks. (Extra credit if you notice who banned smoking in the White House... I wonder why? Ya think the smell of cigars "got to her"?)

Do you know what our chances are that Joe Biden is going to be our next President, Mr. Damon?

Hmm... lets see. The average African American man's life expectancy at birth today is 71 years. The average smoker loses 14.5 years off their life. That means, Obama's life expectancy is 56 years. Compound that with the physical stresses of the Presidency... Um... How long will Obama live?

Man... I hope this guy quits and fast but dude... seriously... if celebrities are worried about an Alaskan governor ever being President over a one term Senator is beyond me. Especially rich, successful, sexy actors like Matt Damon who make what 15-20 million a film.

Hummmmm.........