Thursday, December 11, 2008

People Can't Drive

I have had bad luck with cars this week. So I decided to write about it. We all remember my post, like 660 posts or so. Remember, Steve versus the Carl's Jr. drive through post when I was a wee lad in 2004?

So like... Tuesday, I wish I had one of those old beat up cars you do not give a crap about with no plates. I was rolling through the fog and came to a stoplight on a two lane highway. I mean it was foggy. You wouldn't realistically want to go more than 45 mph because of the fog and safety driving in it. So I go to take off from the stop light and this lady in an SUV tries to pass me on the right. It wasn't like she was beside me at the start. Plus there were like 5 cars behind me. I didn't realize she was trying to pass either until she ran out of lane. She honked, rode my ass and left her high beams on for the next 5 miles, shutting the off and on as cars passed us the other direction.

She was so uptight, that as cars either pulled in front of me or went slow because of the heavy fog. What a bitch! Then when I hit the freeway she did everything to pass me... only to get cut off by a Semi. Are we that much in a hurry? I am not a crazy driver but I drive 5 miles or so over the speed limit often unless it is by a school or something. I just couldn't believe this lady.

I didn't think anything of this until I hit the Starbucks drive through.

Everything was fine... the line was moving fine. I got my order into the box. There was an SUV in front of me with one of those vanity plates but I can't remember what it said. And so I happened to see what the lady ordered on the screen before I placed my order. She ordered a tall coffee, in a Venti cup, with a pump of carmel or something. I didn't understand why someone would order all these side ventures at starbucks... I just want a latte with an add shot. So she gets to the window and proceeds to SCREAM at the drive through barista. She kept going... and going and going... to the point I noticed like 7 minutes went by. So I hit the horn, and yelled, "C'mon lady, get over it!!" I had no idea at the point what she was yelling about but then she yelled at me to wait... I dropped a few F-Bombs out the window and laid on the horn and didn't let off for like a minute. She got all frustrated and flustered and couldn't be heard by Starbucks. I just laughed my ass off and so did the drive through barista. Merry Christmas lady.

So I had to run an errand up to Sacramento this afternoon and it was such a nice day today (the calm before the wicked cold front we are about to get) I decided to fly up in the Porsche. The back roads to the highway are all under construction so there are some detours to some really crazy roads which I love in the Porsche because you can fly around the curves and shit. I got behind a truck. He wasn't going slow but he wasn't in a hurry either. We turned onto a new road and he just kind of putted along. The passing lane was wide open the other direction so I decided to pass. Suddenly the bastard turned left and holy crap... I gunned it through the dirt on the other side shooting dust and stuff... and then I got back on the road all fish tailing. Just missed his mailbox and I left some cool skid marks to show off to people. The bastard didn't use his signal!!! I think I gave him a heart attack because he sat in the road for a while. I couldn't believe it but I was calm. It was close though dude... Very close...


Anonymous said...

Steve did you check your Karma at the door?
You know why that lady ordered all those things at Starbucks? Because she can.


Steve said...

Entitlement is a bitch...

Um... Can I have a skinny, add shot, decaf soy one pump, extra hot vanilla latte?