By Tomorrow I Will Be Dead...

Oh Wah ah ah ah!!!

or damn near close to it.

I woke up this morning and I can feel it coming on. It is hitting me hard. Sinus headache and no amount of Sudafed seems to work. I stand up and I feel dizzy. I had to watch Elijah this morning since I was home and he gave me 90 minutes of peace to do what I needed to do. Oh my God... He wasn wound up when he woke. And the boy is quite accelerated. Wants to potty train I guess... has to watch Elmo, counted to 4... not back for going into 20 months here. So accelerated I got one of those temper tantrums to 2 years olds through.

I am bad... I let him cry... He wanted into the bedroom and he had no business being there so I shut the door keeping him out. He pounded the door. I narrated my movements into the front room where I announced every move to set up Elmo for him to watch quietly...

10 minutes later... he came walking into the room with a big smile on his face like the world was at peace and he had no worries. Ready to watch Elmo. I think it is funny when they freak out and then they come back like nothing happened. Little dude is like Daddy, can't come to grips with his emotions, goes Donald Duck on ya and then is fun to be around after.

I took him to the park. It was freaking cold!! The wind was blowing pretty good and it was like 49 out or something. Elijah had fun until we had to leave. I was freezing. This sickness was coming on and I was hating life. I still had a couple of hours to play with him until it was time to drop him off at DW's workplace.

The next couple of hours were fun. We walked around the block together and he threw rocks at some dogs. I carried him on my shoulders part of the way. We watched some men putting a new roof on a house down the street. We watched a few squirrels mate with each other. I had to stop and see that. Nothing like a squirrel going to town on another squirrel with the tails wagging in circles. We have one living near us on the side of the house. There are like a bazillion trees in Sacramento so there is a natural habitat of squirrels running rampant. The new phrase for the day, Elijah could not understand: Squirrel Fornication.

If you haven't seen squirrels mating before... Watch this:

The Zen of Porsche Driving

Elijah is sick again... I get to watch him tomorrow. He has an ear infection again... No seizure this time. I took a break today and went for a drive.

I fired up the 914 and cruised the foothills.

I started out going into Ione. I went by the old Rancho Seco "nucular" power plant. It is kind of crazy because there are all these vineyards out there now and I'd be scared to drink wine from those grapes. It was fun though humming along in the Porsche. I kept the top on and I just listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the window. I passed a bright green 914 in Ione. I waved at the guy I thought might have been the owner. He sure gawked and mine. It is really bright with the orange roof on versus when it is off.

Once I got through Ione, I turned up 88 and headed into Jackson. Not the Jackson from the Johnny Cash song but the gold rush town in Amador County. I have always had a strong attraction to Ione and Jackson. For example, I remember going to Ione on vacation when I was three and I got new shoes because my old ones got muddy. I remember them vividly because they had stop and go on them and one was red and the other was green. I was 3 when I got those. Jackson has different memories. Again on vacation from the bay area, we'd go to Jackson while camping to do laundry or get donuts or site see or whatever. It was fun coming into down. They still have an active gold mine and all that going on. I have other memories of Jackson too. It was the place you went to hang out at in high school. My family liked vacationing so much up there, we moved there 20 years ago to the lake down the road where we vacationed.

I stopped, regrettably at Taco Bell for lunch. It's been kicking my ass ever since. I ate my food staring at the only car wash in town. I was wondering why they were not open on such a beautiful Sunday. You'd think it would be a popular day to be open (like the 2nd or 3rd best of the week... not that I know anything about car washing).

Once I finished I trekked up 49 through Mokolumne Hill. That road is a blast in the 914. I zoomed over the river for the turny road up to the top of the hill. Then I blasted through the historic district of Moke Hill. 10,000 people lived in the town 140 years ago. Maybe 700 or so there now. They struck gold there and mined it out back in the 1860's or something like that. It was a rough place at one time too. They had a very diverse group of people living there... Indians, the Chinese, Mexicans and white bread Americans all fighting for the gold. I wanted to stop for a beer but the Taco Bell was wreaking havoc on me.

Once at the top I headed down into San Andreas, the town where I went to high school. It's funny a town named San Andreas and the San Andreas Fault is 100 or so miles west in the bay area. There ain't much to the town either except that is where Elijah was taken for his last seizure and some drug store that seems to be popular around the area. High school was fun. I liked the history of the area a lot. It was a cool place to grow up.

So I headed out the back of town down Dogtown Rd. I hadn't been down the road in years until a few weeks back. This time I had the right car. The 914 hugged this road tight. I never went over 50 miles per hour once but even that was a bit fast!! When I came through Calaveritas I heard a pop. My engine lid on the 914 blew open on me. I had to pull off and refasten it. It was fun... when I stopped, all these cows came running at me and they stopped at the fence line. It nearly freaked me out. The majority of Dogtown is a narrow one lane road. It was a fun ride hugging all those corners and squealing the tires and slamming on the brakes. But the pavement was way too uneven for my suspension. I bounced all over the place for 11 miles. Once I got into Angels Camp, I stopped for a break at Starbucks.

I felt better at Starbucks. I got some relief there. I had a little cappuccino and a bottle of water. I had a little biker group stop and ask me about the car. That was kind of cool. I mostly sat there checking the college basketball scores on my iPod. I drove into downtown because one of the biker people told me they saw a bunch of Porsches earlier. I didn't find any so I turned around and headed back down to my parents. Highway 49 is fun in that car.

Overall I had a great time, not thinking about anything. I didn't think much of the pain. I had such an unusual time last week with the pain, hardly being able to walk. Today I felt fine... I felt normal as normal could be. My shoulder is killing me but that is probably from driving. The road seems to calm my nerves and helps me think clearly. I got a busy couple of weeks here so I just needed a little break.

I had filled up before I left and I refilled the car once I got down to Valley Springs. I drove 115 miles and took 4.3 gallons. Not bad for a souped up 35 year old car and all the hard driving I did. About 27 miles to the gallon there. Not bad at 4 bucks which is now the price for super unleaded in California. I have to buy it for the 914 and the Cayenne. I buy super for the 914 because engine burns cooler. In the summer I run octane booster too with that. If not I don't I seem to have more vapor locks with that hot engine. Didn't burn any oil which was really cool this trip.

I like turtles.


Most Insightful Interview Ever - Watch more free videos

Been Some Time...

...since I got all political on this blog. I mean, I haven't changed. I am still a right winged prick. You'll never take my gun from my cold, dead hands or convince me that abortion should stay legal... And what the fuck is so wrong with teaching Intelligent Design anyway? It's not science, it's philosophy and so is the Theory of Evolution... which is just that, a theory and not a proven fact... There is no right or wrong here...

Tonight though I want to challenge you all on something:

Free Speech

Let me preface this... I watched George Carlin's latest HBO special last night. He's good. I think the man is a genius. He's brilliant... I don't believe half the crap that comes out of his mouth one minute. But I do honor and respect his free speech stances in the past. And I laugh my ass off, he is one of my favorite comedians. One thing he talks about in his latest special is what we in America may consider as a whole, "our God given rights." Well, that is if you believe in God. I do... And I do believe our freedoms lie somewhere in our faiths in our religions whatever you choose to believe. I guess that is if you believe in a religion with a God. Perhaps not... I am sure there are some religions I'd feel safe with if they didn't believe in a God or what have you.

I digress...

Mr. Carlin brought up things he called bull shit in America. Like the Bill of Rights, which started with 10 rights, as God given rights but "omitted the whole slavery issue being a bad thing". And that we have amended our Constitution so many times over the years. Or how Germany has 29 amendments and the Brits have 13 or Sweden having 6... and so on. Or how we in America believe in the "pursuit of happiness" or "the American dream" and other things he called bullshit America things. Like freedom is our God give right in America. Why would God like our country over the 200 "less free" countries? I think he equated our laws and rules as being created by man to control the masses.

I went out tonight to get a burger. I went to the H&C place over on 16th and Broadway here in Sactown Sacramento. Great place for fried fat let me tell you. Hits the spot as always. I always get the hammer 4.

I am in serious pain tonight, and I had to park far away because there was a music event going on across the street at the old Tower Records that was closed because all you kids illegally steal music with teh Napsters and teh Limewires and shit. (Ironically abusing someone else's American dream or "god given right") Anyhow, here I am 100 yards from the burger place, hobbling like a cripple because my legs hurt so freaking bad I cannot even move correctly (Need to get this shit checked out Steve) and I hear this rap group over at the old Tower covering NWA's Fuck tha Police.

"Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... Fuck tha Police... "

I went on over and over and over... like the needle was stuck on the turntable. And I thought to myself, nearly out loud... What the fuck? It's a public corner. And these dudes are yelling their hatred and disgust with some misguided angst about the police from an old rap song from the early 1990's:

Ice Cube:

Fuck tha police Comin straight from the underground. A young nigga got it bad 'cause I'm brown. And not the other color so police think. They have the authority to kill a minority

MC Ren:

Lights start flashin' behind me. But they're scared of a nigga so they mace me to blind me. But that shit don't work, I just laugh. Because it gives 'em a hint not to step in my path.

Eazy-E:

Without a gun and a badge, what do you got? A sucker in a uniform waiting to get shot. By me, or another nigga. And with a gat it don't matter if he's smaller or bigger.

Okay... the musician in me says one thing and the concerned parent hobbling out of his Charger to get some food thinks another. The musician in me says, the NWA song is a classic. The guys that wrote this song created a work of art. When we had the Hummer, I remember rolling down the road with the XM radio on the rap station blaring my honky, white ass ears out to the song. But... why must we hear it in public? And not by the real guys, I mean Eazy-E has been dead for years for that matter and why is it just out in the open air for the surrounding businesses and patrons, along with the residences nearby to hear? I mean... I might twitch if say John Lennon's Working Class Hero was sung out there to, with all the fucking f-bombs in that song.

So to me... this rap group was just a bunch of poseurs really, that figured they were gonna be out in public in front of the old Tower and how cute and funny and how "cool" they might be singing rapping this song out. What power and what real men they must feel like they have over say, the old lady on the other corner at the Tower Cafe eating a Caesar Salad with the love of her life on a cool Friday evening who really didn't go out tonight to be serenaded to the spiteful sounds of gangsta rap.

So back to Carlin, free speech, the Bill of Rights, yada yada... Are we that screwed up as a society that at the bare minimum, we can't have the decency and respect for others in public in not expressing lewd and downright threatening words for all to hear? Including the rights and respect of the majority that don't want to hear that shit? We may not have the God given right of freedom in America, rather a freedom that was given to us by a bunch of old dudes back in the 18th Century. But can we go beyond that and respect others in public? Can America ever get back to some form of decency where it was just standard to treat others with respect in public? I have no beef with the song or the liberal use of the f-word as form of expressing or even as I use it on my blog. In fact, it may be ironic that I have such a big beef with this incident tonight because my blog is a free public place for anyone to visit (who's IP's I have not banned because they were either spammers or slapdicks). Text is different though. You sort of have to pick up this blog and read it to understand it and my caveman grammar. Seeing or reading for that matter requires a different or more private sense. Sound is for everyone, except maybe the deaf people like Rush Limbaugh.

Perhaps there is just a meanness in this world...

Into The Wild

I had heard about this movie last summer and never got a chance to see it in the theater. I was surfing around iTunes the other day and I saw the album for the sound track. I bought that right away after hearing this song and immediately moved the movie into the top of the the Netflix list.

Last night I was able to finally see the movie. I was blown away. It isn't the best movie ever (we'll reserve that for Fight Club) but it was powerful.

It's about a guy that says, "Fuck it" to money, his education and life as he knew it to explore living without everything in the wild. The emotions of the people he meets through out his journey into the wild of Alaska are pretty powerful.

The best part about the movie is that it is a true story. The guy really did this. What an inspiration. Emile Hirsch is an incredible actor. Loved him in 'The Girl Next Door' and 'The Lords of Dogtown'. The guy will probably be pretty big if the Speed Racer movie doesn't ruin his career. LOL.

I recommend throwing this onto your Netflix list and watching it. Great stuff. Eddie Vedder does the entire soundtrack and it is probably some of his best work too.

Pain, Pain, Pain... and More Pain...

I swear Kaiser is turning me into a Vicodin addict.

WTF? I just got back from the real OC on a trip. I some how managed to cover all I needed, avoiding most of the insane traffic So Cal has. It was tough. This pain shit is getting old fast.

Here are some of the pain highlights:

1. Pulling my suitcase through the airport. I like never check bags on short trips because I want to save time and I don't have much more than a lap top and a small suitcase. I drag my suitcase through the airports with ease. I got out of my rental car today, ripped my suitcase out and started to walk and literally took three steps and I just felt this flash of numbness combined with sharp pain from my finger tips to my shoulder and I lost my grip with my left hand.
2. Sitting on the plane. There were like 50 people on the plane so I basically had a row to myself. I crossed my arms to relax after drinking my soda and I could feel this real sharp pain in my left forearm and wrist. It freaking killed. I felt like I wanted to cry for a second and then it ended like nothing ever happened.
3. Yesterday after driving to San Diego and back from the OC, I got out of the car, took two steps and my left leg gave way. I just stumbled and picked myself up. The funny thing, today after my arm going numb... I switched the suitcase to my right hand and was able to run full speed for my gate. No limp and about as nimble and as fast as I could run when I was 18. WTF?
4. I woke up flat on my back and both arms are numb the past two nights. And then it just goes away.
5. When I finally got home this evening, my left knee felt like someone hit my knee cap with a crow bar and tried to pry it off. Everything hurt and I have this mysterious itchy feeling in my back and feet.

This shit's gotta stop. Driving me up the wall!!!

Steve Chased By Cougars

Not literally but...

The weather in Sactown (Sacramento to those in Peoria) is perfect! It has been in the 70's all week and it is convertable weather. It's like that Goldilocks time of year wear you can walk outside in a t-shirt and jeans and not be too hot or too cold.

So I had the Porsche out... flying around town, doing my things that I do. It's amazing what people say to you in the car. Here are somethings I heard:

1. What kind of car is that? (The car is 35 years old so some people have never seen a 914)
   
2. Dude... what kind of engine do you have in that thing? (Usually a motorcycle guy or an older black gentlemen in a Crown Vic or something will ask this)
3. Wanna trade?
4. Sweet!!!
5. Pollute!!! (Prius drivers getting bitch slapped from each stoplight)
6. Mighty fine, dude...(Scared me a little because it was a dude that said it)
7. Give us a ride!!!

Give us a ride? A couple of 50 year old women roll up next to me and ask me for a ride? I smile and say there is only room for one.

"We'll fit, " they say. "Just take us now!!!"

Um... Holy crap!!! Steve got picked up on by some older women. I didn't no what to do so I sped off!!! I was scared and kept looking behind me to see if they were coming.... Sure, enough... they followed me into the Jamba Juice parking lot. Oh my God !!! I panicked when I got out of the car and ran into Walgreens to hide. I could see them eyeing me as I trotted across the parking lot. They went into Starbucks. I was safe.

I am sure they thought it was funny.

Scary... I am getting up there...

Steve Tries Something New

Steve Plays Lennon on his guitar...

Click link to try...

Let me know if it works...

You might need quicktime...

Reinventing the Wheel

My hero... Singing the greatest song he ever wrote.

Dude...

Among all the things that could go wrong, like Steve leaving the Porsche unlocked one time and having someone steal the iPod stuff (not the iPod itself) right at that time... We had the garbage disposal go out.

Mmmkay...

So I dug in after a rough day, went down to the Home Depot (no Lowes nearby) and got a new garbage disposal. I have had trouble with the pipes under the sink but this time... this time... whoa!

I ripped the old disposal out and wouldn't you know it, I got the same one except like 8 years newer or more and 3/4 horse versus 1/3 hp. So this should have gone easy. Of course none of the pipes lined up and as I tried to force it I realized it was time.

Every fitting under that sink had a different composition. Meaning... some were ABS. Some were PVC... Some were galvanized and some where Stainless steel.

WTF...

I did what I could monkeying some fittings off and headed back to HD. I sat on the floor looking at their completely disorganized boxes for a half an hour figuring a way to redo my plumbing. I was already way deep into today with having a bad day. And then the shopping cart rolls up and these two kids are in it.... A boy and a girl, maybe 5 and 6 or maybe a little younger... They weren't just fighting in this cart, they were loud and screaming and just being flat out obnoxious. Really loud... Definitely not using their inside voices... and the dude pushing them leaves the cart right near me and proceeds to go down the aisle while these kids are screaming. Way down the aisle... to the end... like 50 feet away??

WTF...

I am on edge... I can feel my blood pressure curdling as I am sitting there. It was the most annoying sound. Finally, after a couple of minutes I give up and stand up... drop all the fittings, look right down at dear old Dad at the end of the aisle and yell, "DUDE!?!?!?!" Side stepping away from the cart with my hands out like I am showing off a fabulous new car on the Price Is Right... "C'mon!?!?!?!"

He comes walking back... my fittings on the ground... the kids now quiet... dogs me all the way... grabs the cart and goes....

I went back to the floor quietly assembling my plumbing masterpiece. I don't know how a modern kitchen is set up but I gotta believe under my sink is kind of screwy. At least I have all the same fittings aligned correctly and level.

What a crazy day... More I wish I could write about but that would sort of give up my secret identity.

Feel The Pain

Sucks...

Pain has been bad the last two nights... My ring finger stopped making chords on my guitar...

Sucks...

Kids Suck!

So I take Elijah to the park...

No one is there... Elijah has the whole thing to himself. So what does he do first? Runs to the swings... Once he was done he ran back to the slides. So I just followed him watching to make sure he doesn't fall through one of those gaping holes they have about 5 feet up. Tan bark is soft but dude... Any OSHA compliance?

Then three older kids show up with their mom... And they just pound the slide... I had to shield Elijah from these kids so he didn't get knocked over. These kids reminded me of a ringer playing on a C-League Hockey Team. Kids just that since they where bigger and better than little Elijah, they felt they could beat him at "slide".

Sidenote: If some of you have been following along on this blog since November of 2004, you realize by now, that I am a class A ASSHOLE!!! I am the biggest jerk you will ever ever meet, when I want to be. 9 year old kids not withstanding...

So how could I win, get them back and continue to nourish and lovingly enjoy Elijah's playtime as he explores the world of amazement at the local park? Well, I am 5 foot 11, 185 pound blockade... that is what.

You want to enter through the fun crawl space? Not when I am standing in front of it, watching Elijah climb each stair shouting, "Up! Up! Up!" as he makes his way to the big slide.

Wanna climb up the big slide the wrong way so my son cannot go down? "Excuse me please, Excuse me PLEASE!!!" Loud enough so your mom that is more into her girlfriend on the phone, hears and gets annoyed and she has to come pull your sorry little asses off the slide and threaten to take you home.

Then there is the 7 year old that asks why Elijah is wearing a diaper. "Why is he wearing a diaper?"

"Because he has to.."

"Why?"

"Because he is a baby.."

"Why?"

"Because he is only a year and a half old"

"Why?"

"Because he and his mommy conceived him sometime in November of 2005..."

"Why... What's conceived?"

At this point, I tell the kid to shut up and play.... Jesus Christ...

Then I cannot get to Elijah fast enough and the dirty little kids try to help him by dragging him by the arm.. 15 seconds of that was too much.

There is some bad parenting in this world and I am glad I am not going to be one of them...

I hope...

Country Flyin' in a 914

I really need to invest in a camera mount and turn off the radio next time.

Really nice day in California. Temp is probably 70 outside, no wind... This morning I set out for a drive in my 914 Porsche. Started first, by-passing coffee at a major chain coffee shop and had breakfast at Sactown's best greasy spoon, The Lucky Cafe. Breakfast here is the shit. No one was there which is rare for a Sunday morning like today. Great food!! I had the French Toast and Egg combo, I believe it was the #15. Two cups of coffee.

There was a light chill this morning so I had my leather jacket on. I started heading out south of town down 160 along the river. It was really cool with the sun up midway, the river levee road just flying along. The car has been running great. I have slight squeak in the front brakes before the car really gets warm that is annoying but it ran great. Nice and quick acceleration. Not bad for a 35 year old car. (Born date: 9/8/73)

I got off on Hood Franklin Rd and tore it back over to I-5. I got a lot of waves from bicyclists as I sped by. Once on 5, I headed down to Twin Cities Rd. A problem with a car like this, is when you haven't driven far in months (you'd be an idiot driving a 914 in the rain) is the tires get flat spots from sitting. So at the beginning of the season the front end was a little jumpy. A little scary at 75 mph. I knew they would wear smooth if I kept driving.

I headed down Twin Cities through Galt and then onto 99, finally arriving on Liberty Rd. Once I made the boring, straight, cow pasture laden, trek down Liberty I got to North Camanche Pkwy. Here is where the fun starts:

The oakie driving the camper pulled off so it was me and a windy road along Lake Camanche. I just gunned it, not exceeding 60, but not slowing through the turns too much. The car just hummed along. No squeals, nice braking and handling, smooth as can be acceleration.

The video up top is a section of road with not a whole lot of turns. It was fun revving the engine up but I should have kept the stereo off. I reached into my jacket and pulled out my digital video camera. One handed driving... third gear... going from 40 to 60 mph and revving up to 5 grand. You can kind of hear the motor in the video but there is a lot of background noise. One of the first things I did when I got the car was to remove the rusty HEAVY muffler off the back and modify in a Magna Flow muffler. I even have new flanges on the old 914 headers. The gaskets fit a 53 Buick. It's tucked up underneath pretty good but what I really have is a 2 1/2" exhaust on a muffler that would feel at home on a 289 Mustang engine than a whiny 2.0 914 engine. I had the intakes matched to the headers, installed some Mahle pistons, shaved the fly wheel and then added a MSD ignition to the car. The car goes from 30-60 in a couple of seconds. It takes a little to get going but once you hit the power band... the car is a lot of fun.

I winded my way around the back of Camanche to the south side to my parents house. I had noticed that my horn was not working so I stopped for a pit stop to re-wire the horn at my parents. A simple fix.

After a piece of Angel Food cake and handful of M&M's I head back. Once on 99... the car was smooth even at 75 MPH. The flat spots were gone.

Steve Flies

44 minutes from recording to youtube... Should have done another take... Clipped the track a couple of times with a bad mic setting. And then the lyrics blew off the keyboard.

I was driving down the road listening to my iPod the other day going God that is easy. F C Aminor and G...

I need to practice more. I suck...

Going For A Walk

I took Elijah for a walk tonight. He has this little monkey backpack with a leash. It is so funny pulling this thing out. He loves being on the leash.

I took him down the front steps and basically said, "Where do you want to go?" He just took off... I followed letting him walk. Keeping him from the street... or from sticking his fingers through the fence to touch the yapping dog behind us.

He stopped to greet the neighbor... I think he called him Samuel... which is funny.

We walked a few blocks. Elijah is a little short so we has fun climbing the curbs.

He later found a stick. The dude loves sticks... He swings them around and loves to hit cars so I have to block him from hitting cars. I am considerate of other's paint jobs on their cars.

So I was watching him walk... and he goes down one block partially and then suddenly wants to go back the other way. Okay... so he went to the corner and turned. Where was he going?

We walked down the next street to the middle of the block. We ran into a couple with a baby. The baby was like 3 inches taller than Elijah. I was like oh my god. Yet she wasn't walking yet. She was 6 months younger than Elijah. She was intrigued by him. I kept laughing and she would mimic me. The parents just thought Elijah was so cute. Elijah just stood looking at the baby. I think he made a friend...

We moved on after 5 minutes and I suddenly figured out where Elijah was leading me too. The Park... he knew exactly how to get those 6 blocks with turns down the street.

It is amazing how right now you can almost have a conversation with him and he is pulling all this really smart stuff like leading me to the park.

He realized though it was dark and wanted to head back... Of course he wanted to be carried so I held him up... 23 pounds and chronic pain... I was numb when I got back.... But I could have walked another hour with him in my arms.

Coolest Video Ever

It's like a war or something on "It's a Small World"

I Had Know Idea Where This Was Going...

Mentos Boosts Confidence With Ladies - Watch more free videos

But I am glad I watched it until the end...

Time Warp...1988

I spent the weekend with Elijah at my mom and dad's. What a weekend, especially with the seizure and all. Every doctor and everything I read tells me that febrile seizures are not uncommon and that kids grow out of them but dude... freak... me ... out! Holy Shit... I never got to rest like I planned too. I figured, I'd have him down there... he'd run around... Oma and Opa would be playing with him and I could chill for an hour or two on Sunday morning sleeping in or something...

My parents moved me from a big city with hundreds of thousands of people to this desolate little town of 200 people when I was 14. This ironically was the first night I have spent in there has in roughly 9-10 years. Wow!! Things I forgot. I stayed in my old room on the top floor. This was a cool room because it was the highest room in the house and I had my own bathroom. It was really private but I was probably stuck up there for my Baritone Horn/Tuba playing I was doing back in high school and college. I don't know what I sounded like downstairs but I was stuck up there for a purpose with all the practicing. It must have been loud. I wasn't liked so much in the beginning when we first moved there. Music became my refuge... my outlet... I'd blow those horns to make them sound like nothing else before. There is an feeling of peacefulness when I walk into that room... A box of my old hot wheel cars was outside the attack door that the other grand kids have played with over the years. I browsed through them to see if my two favorites where in there: Porsches... a white and a black one. Both RS's I believe...

To this day, my parents house does not have central heat and air. I was reminded of this this weekend. It was chilly yesterday afternoon so the house was cool. My parents are experts at building fires and accumulating firewood for their stove. They had a nice roaring fire going when I got in from the hospital. It was nice...

But I was reminded of how really out of civilization they are. Their internet speed blazes along at a whopping 31.2 kbps on dial up. Satellite TV is a new concept and they seem like they "just got it". My cellphone had faster internet speeds to see this blog, check email, etc. It is just so backwards to me. I can walk down the street with my iPod and pick up an open WiFi here in Sactown to check my email but out there... nothing. The nearest neighbor is a close 300 yards away. Everything is just far away as far as convenience. I left Elijah at 7pm Saturday night to run 15 miles up the road to Starbucks so I could be on the internet at a decent speed to collect all my work stuff. Posting my blog yesterday was a chore, watching my mom's computer, which has a decent amount of speed, try to upload text to blogger.

But spending the night in my old room was odd, especially with Elijah. The bed was in the wrong spot... It used to be over by the other wall and I was reminded why at 5:45 when the sun came up. The room is also bigger than any single room in this house which also shocked me because I felt it was so small growing up. The smells though, were the same. That house never smelled like my first home, there is always a smell there to me that seems to remind me when I am there that I am only visiting. Same smell I smelled 20 years ago at 14.

Then there was the bathroom. This huge bathroom with a toilet in the middle of the room. You feel really isolated and almost naked doing your business there. The cool thing though about this toilet though is when you are taking a leak, you can see the lake. But I think the shocking thing was the mirrors in the room. For the 8 years I lived there until I finally moved out (the 3rd time...LOL) I entered that bathroom every day. Nothing has changed. The fittings, the mirrors and the sinks. But the mirrors... so many times I had looked at myself in these two huge mirrors to shave or brush my teeth or something. What was weird is that you have this memory of yourself and these mirrors and what you looked like in them in the frames and how much different I look now 20 years later. I didn't seem to age so much those first 8 years but the last 12... sort of took it's toll I guess.

I forgot how many clocks made noise in their house. 11 o'clock.. tick tock... I thought all night long as Elijah gasped through his snotty nose while laying on my chest all night upstairs. I didn't sleep much but it was very peaceful for me to hold Elijah like that for me last night. I love my little boy, far beyond my own imagination...

It was nice to have my mom make pancakes this morning. She just bragged the whole time how she doesn't make pancakes or breakfast for my dad anymore but the cupboards are lined with Bisquick. My poor mom though, she always tries to reconcile and/or revise history for the sake of her own sanity. All the same stories I had heard hundreds of times I had heard again this weekend. I kept having to either finish them for her or cut her off because I felt they were stupid and had no point. I guess I am mean for doing that but my mom I think never wanted to live there. My mom and dad are great. Been together going on 43 years now. Pretty much perfect raising us and stuff. But something about being out there always bugs my mom. It always relates to the vastness of the yard which used to be 10 acres until they sold 5 a few years back. It's the lack of everything out there, like trees at first (my dad took care of that) or the lack of the neighborhood comfort you might get living in a city. My mom was always a suburbanite... I think I put my finger on it finally. She is forever lonely out there without actually being alone. Puzzling if you think about it? To my dad though... living there is Mecca. Give him his trees, his garden and his tractor and he'll never stop moving. No matter driving 40 minutes to work each way. He doesn't care. The weather is great most of the year and he's got his stuff to take care of. We took Elijah out on the tractor. Totally unsure but I bet the next time he sees the tractor he'll want a ride. My dad has only 200 hours in 20 years on that tractor, 100 of which are for driving the grand kids around.

I left at 4 o'clock today. Elijah's rough weekend was made easier though even though I was immensely stressed out. Never got to shut the switch off this weekend and I got a rough start in the morning... I gotta make the time to take care of myself...

Check Your Rearview Mirror

So I took Elijah out to the country to spend the night with Oma and Opa. He has this little cold that I talked about yesterday, where he "faked" mom into leaving him home.

This morning I had got him some kiddie Sudafed type liquid medicine at Walmart when we went out for our Saturday morning latte, pastry and car wash. So we gave him a dose this morning and I gave him another at 1 when I got to Oma's. The left to VS for some soy milk.

10 minutes later... as I am heading into town... I hear Elijah coughing... but it was a weird cough... I look in the rear view: Eyes rolled up back into his head, white foam coming out of his mouth... convulsants...

Shit I thought... What a run! Between the roof collapsing from the rat chewed pipe, the storm blowing glass onto the Porsche, the storm window being blown out... the fence... the cat making a repeat trip to the vet for the asthmar, the electrician... now this.

So I called home yelling at the answering machine until DW picked up. Then since I was right there... I ran into the fire dept. driveway. No one there?!?! WTF? Elijah "looked normal" as opposed to the blue color he turned during the last seizure. Still not acknowledging me. I had him up in his car seat. I stood up scratching my head... Fire station... paramedic ambulance right there (like 300 yards away), where are these people? Fuck it... 911

Then suddenly, paramedics came in like a minute, the garage doors open to the fire dept and I had like 15 dudes checking out the Porsche and my son in his seat. Elijah was just hot. I had pulled clothes off and assisted the paramedics strapping oxygen to him. In all...12-14 minutes, Elijah came out of it. Never cried. Just had a look on his face like, "Hey fire trucks!!" They gave him a stuffed dinosaur and I signed my life away. We were 15 miles from the hospital so I chose to drive up myself.

I took him in and waited. He was real hot. They checked his vitals and his temp was 102. Wow... a kid who was throwing rocks at the house, wicked sick minutes later was just too crazy. I had of course was in a minor state of panic but felt stable when I took him into the emergency room. They took care of him. Motrin to bring down the temp. Chest x ray. They gave him Benedryl to decongest him.

Basically... the doctor thought the Sudafed crap accellerated his body temp and that chance again for another febrile seizure. He'll grow out of it eventually but...wow!!!

What's next?

He's sleeping on the couch... peacefully... Poor little guy. Rough day.