Friday, May 05, 2006

Would You Like Hot or Mild Sauce??

We just came back from Taco Bell with some grubbin'. Helluva way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Some nice hot, American style, Mexican Food. I got an Empanada too. One those caramel apple ones. (Damn it hurts to type, read post below)

Fastfood is great. It's a fun. What amazes me still is the efficiency of a fast food organization. If you ever noticed, they always same the same things. How they greet you. In & Out Burger is always friendly. Or the broken English, "Super Size you Big Mac". Or the "Can I take your order, Puhleeeze!!!!" Occasionally you get someone that runs a foul and will ask you how your are doing. Taco Bell however always asks the hard question:

"Would you like hot or mild sauce?"

To me that is a tough question. It's not a basic question. If it's a burger stand it's ketchup or catsup if you are keeping score up there in Canada. That's simple. If you have fries, you actually need ketchup. Starbucks ending statement after giving you that hot coffee full of chocolate goodness and that slamming Apple Fritter is always: "Oh, you need napkins". Then they proceed to hand you a grip of recycled brown paper. But Taco Bell? Hot or Mild?

It's like, "well, you only have two choices, hot or mild or you get NO CHANGE and FOOD!!". It's a crappy proposition really. You cannot say no. It's either one or the other and that's it. It reminds of the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. You have two choices left and so you must choose wisely, except, both of those packets, hot or mild, do not and HAVE NOT ever contained the "Blood of Christ". It's like, What the Hell do you do?

Your answer is never right either. If you are feeling like mild sauce, they question your choice. If you say hot, they toss in mild too if you wife is with you. If you ask for both, it stumps them because then they'll ask you how much of each? The choice and questions get harder if you ask for both. Suddenly it's a quantum physics challenge. All the while, the nice assistant manager with your plastic bags of food is waiting patiently for your answer.

(And really... sometimes it is just that hard to come up with something to write on a blog!!)

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