Happy New Year

The Edge is the man going from piano to guitar to backing vocals. One of his better guitar solos too.

I drank myself a little silly tonight. Not as bad as seester in law... but she's okay. I write this post minutes after midnight. More fireworks and gulp, gun shots tonight than past memories. I have been around guns... I can tell the difference between a fire work and a bullet breaking the sound barrier. I was walking home right after the Dick Clark stroke of Midnight a fear came over me with bullets raining down on my neighborhood.

Does anything ever change on New Year's Day? A symbolic day we all celebrate (sort of) with drink, food and more drink. We say to ourselves "this year will be different". But do we really make this next year, each year different?

I think it is human nature to want to get better. To succeed is always something we want. Hopefully... That is... But, what is hope really? I think hope is an empty promise we make to ourselves. Hope is not something we actually strive for, it is just an empty mindset. Success though is something that not only do we admire individually but we admire in others. Success is hard work, stamina and perseverance. New Year's Day is a symbolic day to "hope" for something. Success though is a bigger period of time that doesn't occur on a day... it takes a lifetime.

December was an interesting month on this blog. As some of you have noticed I have written more than I have. Almost everyday actually. I also had the most hits this year at just over 2400 in a month, the most this year and more of those hits are staying longer and coming back, which means I am picking up more readers. I think there are 20-30 regulars now but only I care about that stuff, right... Actually... Selina told me through facebook that blogging is a thankless art. I agree. Anyone can do it but can they keep it going for a long time? Face it, this is the new diary format. But we let anyone read it. So many people got IKEA gift certificates for example because they are all stuck working on their new sinks this weekend. Others have cat's with hairballs. Some people are coming in because of some political comment I made on another blog. Who knows. I am not intentionally dragging people here but they keep coming and I will keep going at it.

Nothing changes on New Years Day. Well except maybe though I should. I think sometime around Thanksgiving I came to the realization that all this physical pain I suffer from day after day is due to some form of depression. (Quiet Teeny this is serious shit :) ) I am not the type that wants to go leap off a building or swallow 40 vikes. I do however after reading forever via wikipedia and other sites around the internet think I got something up. I can't always shake the pain. It comes and goes but it comes at the times I am most stressed, distraught or sickly, like with a cold. And when I am distraught over something I can't stop it. If I worry about other people too much it takes over. If I see Elijah upset I want to run and hide. It's weird and it's there and I can't hide from it. With all the doctors and psychologists I have seen, you'd think they'd have spotted it instead of saying, "Hey take this, we don't know what's up with you.". I remember questioning a doctor about bi polar disorder once and he laugh and said that while I had elevated moods I'd have to go on a crazy drug and prostitute binge spending all my money away at some casino and then come down to this sick sad person who wanted to leap off a bridge before I'd be declared bipolar. I sort of laugh at that a little now because I don't know if that is exactly true. I think one would have to experience elicit drugs and the rush that probably comes along with acting all crazy like that to revisit it time after time. I like to revisit happiness or successful achievements. So when I do a achieve... I get giddy. Maybe yoga is the answer to just fucking relax once in a while but I really should question my medical provider a bit further, eh? But if I call, are they going to haul my ass off to some looney bin? How do you do this and maintain sanity around the house and work? Too much shit to worry about really right.

With that all said, I think the answer lies in going back into doing what made me happy. I wrote a month or so back about being flying high at 18 years old, and stomping everyone and everything that was put before me (besides the advanced placement Calculus exam). But the energy to say, "Fuck it" and just beat things to a bloody pulp to get my way and what I wanted. All that energy sort of trickled down in college and sort of died in LA those six months trying to make it in the music business in 1996. Coming home late fall 1996 was a period when I hit rock bottom. I don't think I enjoyed Christmas too much that year. But yeah, I ended my brief entertainment career well I guess. I got a good job, a wife, a nice house... the luxury car... etc. But something died in me along the way and I often wonder now if it is this pain thing because internally I am mourning that loss of that energy I had in my younger days. Maybe it wasn't you know, physical energy but more of a spiritual energy if you would... I mean... Can part of us just die off with out us realizing it? Or am I realizing that part of me is on life support? There are things in our lives that cannot be taken away from us. Education... Life experience... love... our kids... (even if you get separated from your kids you still are apart of them right? In some sort of spiritual connectiveness type way?) But talent... No one can take talent away. And I think though it's talent part of me that's one that is screaming to get out. I mean... my senior year in high school I was first chair in the California State Honor Band with the instrument I played. Numero Uno? How the fuck did I get there? Then to the good school... to this? A guy with a great job, kid... wife... house... and if I stay the course, a lot of cool things will happen as I ride off into the sunset of life the next 50-60 years. Yet, I yearn for the mistakes I made in 1996. The corrections I could have made to stay on that path and realize a dream. Looking back over this last rambling paragraph you could easily say I am crazy. I am... I am nuts for thinking about those mistakes. Live and learn Steve... you are doing just fine. Scared as all hell but just dandy. Maybe... Of course...

So here I am 2008... An hour into the new year... correcting my spelling mistakes so Teeny doesn't call it on me in a comment or two. I have re-read this wondering what's next. I don't know... I should push my talents together... maybe. Perhaps it's a will to succeed in each and everything I do that is making me think a little differently about myself these days. I am trying to recognize the problem on my own... challenge it... overcome it like anything else I do. But I also think that pushing my talents together could help. I have this guitar collection and I have this writing skill that shines once every few posts on on this blog. I can play those guitars and come up with a melody, some chords and some progressions that can be built into songs. And then I have my own unique life experience. Is it my turn to create some songs? Ever tried? I have before and it always is difficult to me. But if I think of all the challenges I have had in life and challenges I overcome everyday at work I can get past these things... just like my failure in 1996 when my Dad and I loaded all my crap up in LA and high tailed it out of town. I wonder if the lack of creativity in my life is the root of my problems?

Who knows... Happy New Year

Day From Hell Strikes Back

That's what I get for not sleeping eh? I got a head cold that kept me up till like 5 AM. I think anyway... I woke up late. I was supposed to be in Stockton by 8 AM to pick up my dad's truck so I can haul the shit I tore out of Elijah's proposed play room. Stockton is like 40 miles a way. So I finally made it out at 8 to Starbucks to wake up.

Loaded with the triple Venti Latte I was ready to drive.

So drove the 1/2 hour or so (doing 80) to Stockton. I picked up the truck and headed back home. Elijah was attacked by Flea again so he had a nice scrape across his forehead. Dude is so getting declawed next month now. It was 10 or so when I got back. I filled the truck and headed out to the dump.

It was really rainy this week so the dump was like muddy as hell. I paid my $20 to toss off my shredded carpet parts and pulled way down like a mile in the mud. I flipped a bitch in the mud and backed into the dump.

This hispanic worker comes up to me motioning me to the back tire. I picked up a nail... Damn. This dude however was relentless into helping me in broken English pointing out the airleak. I responded in my Car Wash Spanish back "Esta bien..." But the dude didn't get it. He wanted me to whip out the jack stand in 10 inches of mud. He kept looking at the spare under the truck. It was a slow leak but he wouldn't get out of the way. I finally had to yell some broken spanish version of "Get the fuck out of the way!" I hopped in the truck and shot a rooster back like 20 yards to get up the hill. My dad's truck is cool, 2008 Chevy Silverado. (What's with my family and all these new cars?)

Anyway I was way on the south industrial side of town with a slow leak looking for a tire shop.

I drove like 10 miles back to Arden to America's Tire Company. Okay... I am so pimping these guys and if you need tires or a tire repair you better be going there. I rode in and they were busy as shit. The service writer was cordial and wrote me up for a leak repair. He warned me I could be buying a new tire for $136 which I didn't need. No sweat... I didn't shit or anything I just smiled, took my estimate and headed to Arby's for lunch. 40 minutes later I had a fixed flat and guess what: THEY DIDN'T CHARGE ME!!! ON PURPOSE!!! IT WAS FREE!!! Holy shit! Who does that anymore...? They put tires on the little Porsche twice for me and were totally cool about it before... They did up the old Subaru DW had when we got married too. America's Tire Companyu... OFFICALLY ENDORSED BY ME.

Then I drove back across Sactown down to Stockton. Swapped vehicles. My dad was pissed because his truck was dirty. I recommended a good car wash across town from him and left. I never had seen someone go wash his car so fast! HA HA HA (inside joke)

I had planned to finish by 11... It's 2pm. What a shitty day. Now I have to go and finish the room.

The Killers...

I am still trying to strategically buy all the right iTunes off my gift cards. I'll probably shelve the rest until I find something I really want. But I bought The Killers' latest today called, "Sawdust". It's a compilation of b-sides. I bought it mainly because I like the band. I think they are pretty cool and entertaining... But before today I didn't know they were a really great band.

Above is a cover they made of an old Dire Straits song called, "Romeo and Juliet". Some real cool playing here. The line that gets me is:

Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him"

Smart freaking writing... Wow!! You get the whole song from the author right there. I hate to say it but this is one of those covers that is better than the original.

Random Ideas and Things To Ponder...

I walked into a car dealership and signed my name to five pieces of paper and drove off with a new car today and not one person confirmed my name, my ID or my signature yet I cannot buy a fucking margarita at El Torito on a temporary driver's license. I was like, "When is this lady gonna confirm I am me?"

Have you ever re-gifted something and what was it?

I now have 4017 songs on my iPod. That's 4017 legally obtained songs. Wanna buy my iPod for $4000?

Would you go with the dark almost Cherry Wood Tundra flooring at IKEA or the lighter medium oak look for the floor in Elijah's bedroom? I need 6 boxes and that stuff is 30 bucks a box, 25 square feet in a box. The room is just shy of 144 square feet sans the walk in closet. Elijah's room is the biggest bedroom in the house. WTF is up with that? Someone go dig up the architect and shoot him for me. On a lighter note, I cannot wait to see the cool shit underneath the carpet. There is carpet... padding... linoleum and possibly some cool hard wood. If the Hardwood is salvageable I am renting sander. If not... IKEA. It's the only room in the house right now that does not feature an IKEA product.

One of the best albums you can ever buy is Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska. Most of it is just him with a harmonica and guitar. My favorite song is Mansion on the Hill. Of course, the title track is eerie with the whole electric chair thing. Deep dark album. Capo on the first fret.

Ever visited Mad Haiku? Funny stuff.

Which format is gonna make it Blu Ray or HD DVD? I wish they'd decide so I can buy one. Perhaps they'll make one that does both.

It is exactly 20 miles from Roseville to my house.

Our friend from college Neil, commented the other day... It was pretty cool. Probably because I bought The Complete Led Zeppelin the other day for my birthday. That and I have "All Things Must Pass" ready to load onto my iPod.

Both Twisted Oak's Tempranillo and Torcido are great pairings with turkey. Because I say so.

This is my vice. I eat it like heroin. Dutch licorice is the shit. Facebook is also like crack.

The first song I played on the iPod in my new company vehicle was "I Still Haven't Found What I am Looking For" by U2. I threw my black leather jacket in the back seat and I lost it. I found it when I felt for it. I like feeling up leather.

It's colder than dick in Sacramento. It was about 45 all day with no sun and wind kept blowing. I wish it would snow. That would be cool.

Steve Is Invalid...

Breaking News!! Steve is invalid.

Apparently... I can buy alcohol at the store like I did yesterday on my birthday when heading to Christmas Dinner... I can drive legally in the state of California... Perhaps even board a plane. I can even open a new bank account in my child's name as well as change banking information at my bank for myself and DW like I did today. (Finally putting all that cash I have saved for Elijah in a safe place)

But right now, if I try to buy a freaking margarita at El Torito at lunch time... my driver's license is invalid thus I am disqualified for enjoying the Hispanic Livations from Mexico. Unbelievable... On Kwanzaa even!! My birthdate is still clearly visible on my temporary ID as well as my old ID. They just punched the expiration date out until I get my new license. The reason the manager gave me was: "Because". Nice... Next time I am in a situation that I need to tell someone no, and if they need a reason, I am gona tell them: "because". It wasn't even, "Because I said so." It was just because. I could have gotten up and left but what would the point be.

It's probably because I look like a cop.

The Good Thing About Having Your Birthday On Christmas

Okay... So today is my birthday and I wanted to write the anti-thesis of my previous anti-Christmas Birthday posts. Some random acts of kindness have occurred through midday and there is one startling fact that I have one up on everyone on.

First the fact, the DMV is closed on Christmas. So if you are like me and you wait until the last minute to renew your driver's license when it comes do, you have to spend like two days in line to get processed so you can officially drive again after your birthday.

Nobody likes waiting at the DMV and neither do I. However... Nobody goes to the DMV on Christmas Eve. And if you think anyone is a poor soul working at the DMV try seeing them on Christmas Eve. Oh my God!!! The cool thing for me... No one... I mean no one was there. I got in and out like that. Even got a shnassy new photo of me in my leather jacket that I got for my birthday. Cool thing about a Christmas Birthday: No lines at the DMV.

The second cool thing, we rolled through Valley Springs and if you haven't been to this town in ten years or so, you'd be shocked to find that there is a Starbucks Drive Thru right on the east side of town. The town up until like 5 years ago had 500 people in it that suddenly exploded to 7,700 has a Starbucks. I mean... the town doesn't even have a signal light. Calaveras County has like two and they are both up in Angels Camp. But they have a Starbucks.

So we roll in with the Porsche full of Elijah's gifts and the voice in the speaker goes, "Merry Christmas, what can I get for you today?" So I gave the ole, "Actually you forgot happy birthday..." Surprised, they started singing to me!!! And then they offered a free breakfast sandwich which DW wanted. I told them it was going to her. So when I rolled up to the window they gave me my triple shot venti Latte for FREE!!!. Unfuckingbelievable!!! A free Latte. Made my birthday. Starbucks rules!

That and my wife sang happy birthday all the way home to different tunes that randomly popped up on the iPod. Unusually hearing Happy Birthday sung to the tune of , Nirvana's "Come As You Are" or INXS's "Devil Inside" or even "Disposable Heros" by Metallica

We are in the middle of Halftime for our day. Gotta head up to my bro's house next. Listening to U2's Joshua Tree remastered that my fine sister in law got me for Christmas. (lol "fine" sister in law) iTunes screwed up and dropped it into the middle of the old Joshua Tree album. It's interesting because you can hear such subtle differences in the drums and bass. Then all the extra guitar parts in Running To Stand Still, one of my alltime favorite songs. God, a 20 year old album sounding like new. I was 13 when it came out. The B side version of Silver And Gold is freaking awesome!!! It's played live on Rattle and Hum but this cool!!!

Anyway... good day so far. Gonna go drink some Spanish wines!!!

Steve's Blog: Double Holiday Issue #500... Feeling Thankful, for the Small Things Today

Who the hell counts this stuff anyway? Yes this is post number 500. 500 posts... Wow! I cannot believe it. There is a whole lot going on, Post #500, Christmas and my birthday all in the same week (if not day in some cases). Too many people to thank:

My readers... too numerous to thank. Without the tens of you that visit everyday I don't know how I would keep it all going. Thanks everyone.

I also like to thank readers who never comment. Like the two people who read daily from the Bay Area. There is a person that comes here everyday by searching "Steve's Blog" in Google. Thanks for coming, I think I may actually know you but you may not know that. I don't know your name or anything but I think that you figured out this was me so you keep reading. Don't be a stalker... comment under a pseudonym or something.

And you, the other one who has me bookmarked down there from the city actually on the Bay (you'd have to live or know of this city to know what I am talking about). Thank you! I don't have any idea who you are so I won't freak you out. Just like the person above you, my statcounter tells me which city people connect from. Thats it.

To all those frustrated with your IKEA Faucet Installations.... I felt your pain. That's why I wrote about it. 100's of you visit this blog each week to figure that think out. It's a difficult piece of engineering and IKEA should be paying royalties to me because I figured the freaking thing out and have probably stopped dozens of returns. I have installed two faucets that way and none of them leak. IKEA makes great coat racks and I am about to build a closet with them. (No Teeny... I am not building a closet so I can come out of it...silly :) )

And those with the Christmas spirit and who like to search people born on Christmas. You are hitting my second most popular page I wrote back in 2004. I'd say I have had a few thousand now hit this one. It sucks... Tremendously.

There are dozens of things that surprise me where I get hits from. Like Steve Faucet. The rich guy who took his plane out in Nevada and never returned. Well his name is/was actually Steve Fossett. Use that next time... I got a laugh on that in September...

Feline asthma. Another great hit, people looking for Kitten's x-ray we had back in August of 2005. I wonder how many cats I have saved because of that post. So many people probably took their cats in for the hairball that would not come out. We are the shit too because we have this little kitty inhaler mask for Kitten. I should take a picture of it and update that post. You guys would laugh... Its soooooo cute.

Turtle Lady of Sacramento and other variations, hits this post about the giant turtle that attacked Sacramento. Well... that wasn't a giant turtle it was actually a tortoise. The owner got it back and then it got out again like 8-9 months later. There were tons of fliers put up all over the neighborhood looking for this lost tortoise. It annoyed the shit out of seester in law because these things are still up in some places. I felt like posting my own response around the 'hood, "Lost Amazon Snake... Loves Cool Grass, basements, Swimming Pools and redwood framed homes (like 95% of the neighborhood). Can Swallow Small Children... If found, call Poison Control because... You are now dead!!!"

This is another popular entry page. I think it is a classic post. One of my all time best posts. You'll have to read it again if you can stomach it.

Okay... Now for the birthday celebration: (This is a double issue remember?)

This is my all time favorite band (according to my Facebook iTunes application), next to U2, Bad Religion, Social Distortion, etc., Cracker playing my all time favorite Birthday song:



Bonus Credit: If you think that the singer looks like the dude from Camper Van Beethoven, you would be correct... Take the SkinHeads Bowling... Take them bowling. (<---Take a listen...it's 22 years ago... and it freaking rocks!!) David Lowery is such a cynical lyricist. 34... wow... I think my life though closely resembles the lyrics to any Cracker/Camper Van Beethoven song. It's decent, you can rock out to it... and you smirk at the sarcasm. At least the songs are complete and don't leave you hanging. They have a bit of yearning and despair but overall, they are a complete work and hopefully I am as fun as those are to be around. I only get one time of the year for reflection so hear me out (note pun and hint of sarcasm in that statement..). I wish I were raising a Guinness to all of you readers, people I know, life long friends who read and those who have to because you are family... I love each and everyone of you. My Christmas/Birthday wish is that you all are getting what you want out of life. That means, if Lawryde wants to finish up his sleeve... I hope you get to do it during this break. Though a Red Guitar much like a Hollow Body Gretsch or a E-330 Gibson would earn you serious respect at the next rock concert you ventured into. I'd go for the Gretsch though... Lennon played one... George Harrison played one... Brian Setzer... the list goes on... Chuck Berry popularized the E-330... then Lennon again... BB King plays one called Lucille... They are guitar players guitars.. Everyone wants a Les Paul or a Strat or Telecaster... but guitar players want those guitars. You may not be a guitar player at all... But damn... seeing one of those in ink would be the shit.

I hope that Selina feels better now :). Great writer... all you readers should be reading that one. That writing's going places!!!

Teeny doesn't have a blog so I don't know what she does... Good luck finishing your psychology thing. You really need it and if there is any way I am helping let me know. :) Practice makes perfect.

To Lisa, let's continue to force Liberalism to elect their true presidential candidate from their field: Barak Obama. He's the only one that isn't so me, me, me from that field so if they do win, this country isn't screwed. God Almighty, if Bill Hillary Clinton gets the nod, we must do everything we can to stop it. See you next Tuesday, Hillary... See you next Tuesday... (There is a pun in that somewhere)

I can't think of anything funny or serious to say to the rest of you so... see above where I said I hope you are living life to it's fullest. That's pretty funny and serious if you think about it. I mean, you could be laughing at your life because it was so much fun so far... or be like, "Damn... I need to get serious, I am a total fuck up." Think about it. :)

Last but not least... Darling Wife. As Lawryde's wife commented here today... Thanks for putting up with me, my travels and this blog. I am a lucky one...

Steve Runs Out Of Gas....

Start Saturday... rise and head to Peet's for a Latte. go to SF. 85 miles, 1.5 hours (everything but Bakersfield is one and half hours from Sacramento but more on that later)

Saturday Evening... Ride 40 miles to and from in LimoVan to "a really unfathomably rich town" Drink copious amounts Wine and enjoyed my first 35 year old. Usually I get a lot of 8 year olds and 12 year olds but a 35 year old definitely had some experience on her. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would definitely go back to her for more. (I am talking about Scotch you sick bastards!)

Sunday Morning... Rise and go to Peet's for a Latte. Drive back to Sac stopping in Richmond for Tacos. (Total for weekend 250 Miles)

Monday morning... Get up at the butt crack of dawn, skip Latte because I am so freaking late to the airport I get through security at the same time my flight is bording and fly to Denver. (like 1000 miles) Proceed to drive around for a couple of hours (40 miles) then I went to Colorado Springs (75 miles, roughly)

Tuesday... Get up, stare at Pikes Peak while enjoying a Latte then drive to Pueblo. (40 Miles) Get grand tour of the Plains (50 miles, the shit is spread way out down there) then drive back to The Springs (40 miles) then to the airport there (seemed like 15 miles). Had Cappuccino and Flew home (1000 miles roughly. (2260 miles total) (15 of which seemed like going from Hwy 25 to the Colorado Springs Airport. -not including miles to and from airport her in Sac. )(like 12 each way)

Total for week at this point: 2510 miles

Wednesday... rise at butt crack of dawn and go Peet's for a Latte. Drive to all day meeting 20 miles. Volunteer to take people to airport 32 miles and then back home 12.

Total for week at this point: 2574 miles

Thursday... rise well past 8:30 AM... Say "fuck it" when thinking about driving to Bakersfield Thursday afternoon. Throw on holey jeans, fire up the 914, throw on the leather jacket and burn rubber around downtown Sac heading to Peet's. Debate taking the 914 to Bakersfield. Realize we didn't renew AAA cards. Pull 914 back into garage... Stare it's beauty and all the work I have left to do on it. Go upstairs and work on paperwork. Say "fuck it " again and decide to head to Bakersfield before the butt crack of dawn on Friday instead of Thursday. Miles traveled: About 5

Friday... Painfully rise at 4 AM in the middle of a dream that I wish I was still having, but can't remember... (It was dry) Hop into shower (10 feet) throw on suit pants, dress shirt, say "fuck it" to the tie, toss on the leather jacket and hop into the Copper Metal Box (A Jeep Liberty). Head to Bakersfield: (About 300 miles) First customer at Starbucks drive through in Lodi. See the butt crack of dawn rise outside of Merced. Arrive in Bakersfield at 9:30 AM. Have meeting, literally turn around and head back to Sacramento at 11. Arrive home at 4pm (immense traffic in Stockton and Lodi) Total traveled: 600 miles

Grand Total for Week: 3179 miles.

I have traveled farther during my trips but this one week seemed like such a killer. I have been going for 7 days straight.

Who the fuck has time for yoga?

What A Crazy Week

At the end of Friday, I will have traveled almost 3000 miles. Only half of which were by plane...

And I was home for two days...

Heading for Bakersfield tomorrow... Driving there, giving a 15 minute presentation, turning around and heading back before all that So Cal traffic jumps on the freeways and wants to make their trip back through "The Grapes of Wrath".

This song has been in my head all week:



Frank Black is the coolest human being... "Got me a movie...I want you to know... Slicing up eye balls... I want you to know... Girl your so groovy... I want you to know.... Don't know about you but I am un chien" Ends in French... I am a dog... love it... Debaser...low esteem... hmmm...

Random Thoughts from 30,000 Feet

One of my favorite all time songs, is a song called “The Mighty KC”. It was written by this band For Squirrels. The interesting thing about it was that it was inspired by Kurt Cobain and how he died young and the dudes who wrote it, died young in a tragic accident involving their tour van.

The song popped up on random on my iPod.

The thing that always gets me is the line before the chorus in the first verse:

“Send me off to the morgue I am ready to be buried a way down in my bed…
And I’m alone without the Sun….Please just take one…”

Then the chorus…

“And by the grace of God go I, into the great unknown, things are gonna change in our favor”

“And if we gather and if we fall, over the great unknown things are gonna change in our favor”

What’s interesting is I am writing this at 36000 feet above Utah. Plane is shaking like crazy… I hardly notice because I have been busting my ass on a presentation I need to give in the morning. I also don’t notice because since I stopped my pain meds, I have had this shitty burning pain in my left arm. From what I thought was some psychological bull shit is actually physical. Burning pain is not good. I also don’t notice the shaking because I washed down a vike with a 12 oz can of Foster’s.

The next verse in the song:

“100, 200, 300, 400, 500,600 die alone from watching TV… Please don’t break me”

It’s amazing how little and/or how much we really have control over our lives. One minute we can be flying in a plane, driving a car, shopping in a mall in Omaha and some screwy thing can happen. Some faulty engine parts designed by an engineer at a heavy equipment company or some prick with a gun can blow your shit up with a bomb or gun. Or you get some genetic disease… Or you take up smoking… Visit a tanning booth daily, tight rope walk over gorges… you know ask for an early death. Or you say fuck it and go Kurt Cobain… leave a note and shit. What a freaking waste! I actually miss that guy.

I’d rather spend my time worrying about what I can control personally. I flipped my iPod onto Emmylou Harris’s Red Dirt Girl Album. I enjoy listening to The Pearl off the first song on the album. Emmylou’s voice and Hallelujah’s somehow reach your soul. Probably all think I am odd mentioning Emmylou Harris and Kurt Cobain in the same post. Maybe it is the altitude. The desolate blackness looking out the window as it is now dark. Bumping from turbulence as it tosses my laptop of the tiny table they give you to use it on these planes.

I often wonder if I am seeking everything I can out of life. I really like the beauty of this planet. I love the ocean. The mountains. The take off over the plains where I can see the snow and the separation of it as each homestead farm plows its roads. I really like Colorado. I wish I can move here. But then again, things are out of my control… Like the housing market taking a big shit in the middle of California. But then again California is a nice place to be. We got the mountains, the ocean and contrary from popular belief from one man in Peoria, Ill… We have snow.

I digressed a lot in this post but that is actually a good thing. I have been trying to balance my single serving, cracker and cheese with salami hobby kit while my single serving friend across the aisle is looking over my shoulder as I type vigorously on my computer. I wonder what she actually thinks. Can’t be more than 9. Here is dude writing this presentation with all these graphs and charts and shit, and now he is writing like mad.

Things we can control… Can we really control how we live? That is meaning of life… I have a bitchin’ retirement plan with my company but will I live to enjoy it? Who knows? I sure hope so. Elijah will I guess.

Peace!

Steve Looks Suspicious

Yeah... well... I made it through at least.

I go through security a lot at airports. I don't think much of it. Only when the lady who tries to carry her entire make up and shampoo conditioner set through is when I gripe or express frustration. I have become a pro at lines. I look for businessman and stuff like that and go to that line because they have their act together. I am flying out of a tiny airport today back to Sactown. Amazed as hell they had a direct flight and for only hundred bucks. I'll get back before Elijah's bedtime.

So I am going through security and I got "randomly" selected for "extra" screening. Great... I am not complaining... I mean what the fuck are you going to do, bitch at the TSA? Nah...

So I got through the extra gate and they take my laptop and bag full of electronic wires for my GPS, phone, iPod, camera..etc and run "tests" on it. They were totally polite.

So they ask me if I know why I am being pulled out. Quick answer: "Let's see... I am by myself, flying one direction on a flight with an airline I have never flown before?" Wow! Must of been a good answer because the lady just shrugged with agreement. So they tell you what to do... go sit here. Stand there. Face this way... Direct orders where you don't gripe or complain. And they were ransacking my bag. It took them some time. I asked them to find me my iPod charger while they were in there. They just looked... I sat back singing an Elvis Presley song to myself.."We can't go on together... with suspicious minds..."

All clear and I got out safely. Luckily I wasn't in a hurry. I had enough time to sit and write this.

8 Days this Week.

Monday, December 17th

I have 8 more days until I grow up or um... change years.

I was a good weekend. We went to San Francisco to see the other side of the family. To me... it's the other, other side of the family since I am like a way distant relative by marriage. Elijah is like a fourth cousin. But we're all close which is cool so.

We were in San Francisco this weekend. I kinda liked the leather jacket Elijah has from his Grandpa. So I went out and bought myself one for Christmas. See picture below:



Self portrait of myself. I am in a hotel room somewhere in Colorado. Nice jacket eh? It's totally awesome. I was with my sister in law who is like this expert shopper. We looked at a lot of places for a decent jacket. Nordstrom's had the best but they were like $700-$900 each. Way too much for leather. So I settled for Men's Wearhouse. I got a Pronto Umo lambskin black jacket. Totally soft without a bunch of Michael Jackson pockets, beads and zippers. Just plain. The price was $450. However they had it on sale for $225. And I had this rewards card so I got $50 off!! Freaking awesome.

Totally nice to be styling. I bought a coat rack from IKEA yesterday to go with it too. So that is up on the wall.

Next up is my birthday present. I haven't decided. Probably gonna get the Led Zeppelin Box Set on iTunes. 99 bucks for like 140 songs or something like that. I only have one greatest hits album so it will be cool to get them all.

Also... I think I am gonna lay some Bamboo laminate flooring for Elijah's room next week. Sounds like a big project. Gotta rip up the carpet and move all the shit out of the room. Should be fun. As long as I can get it done in a day. I laid the stuff downstairs in 1/2 a day and this room is just square without a bunch of cuts and shit. I found some bamboo for $1.19 a square foot at IKEA. I think the room is like 15X15 so it'll cost like $300 to lay it. Should be cool!

Saddam with His Weapons of Mass Destruction

Maybe We Did Overestimate The Threat - Watch more free videos

So glad we carpet bombed his ...

The Day Your Heroes Turn To Shit, Right Before Your Eyes...

I am a baseball fan.

The Mitchell Report, as it has been dubbed by the media, came out today and well, baseball as we know it probably came to an end. The usually suspects were on the list, including Bonds, Giambi and the summer sweetheart story that turned into dried poop quickly, Rick Ankiel. But there were a whole bunch of others on the list (from Yahoo! Sports):

Major League Baseball players with links to performance-enhancing substances named in the Mitchell report.
View the report (PDF)

NEW NAMES Chad Allen Mike Bell Gary Bennett Larry Bigbie Kevin Brown Alex Cabrera Mark Carreon Jason Christiansen Howie Clark Roger Clemens Jack Cust Brendan Donnelly Chris Donnels Matt Franco Eric Gagne Matt Herges Phil Hiatt Glenallen Hill Todd Hundley Mike Judd David Justice Chuck Knoblauch Tim Laker Mike Lansing Paul Lo Duca Nook Logan Josias Manzanillo Cody McKay Kent Mercker Bart Miadich Hal Morris Daniel Naulty Denny Neagle Jim Parque Luis Perez Andy Pettitte Adam Piatt Todd Pratt Stephen Randolph Adam Riggs Armando Rios Brian Roberts F.P. Santangelo Mike Stanton Ricky Stone Miguel Tejada Ismael Valdez Mo Vaughn Ron Villone Fernando Vina Rondell White Jeff Williams Todd Williams Steve Woodard Kevin Young Gregg Zaun

PREVIOUSLY LINKED Manny Alexander Rick Ankiel David Bell Marvin Benard Barry Bonds Ricky Bones Paul Byrd Ken Caminiti Jose Canseco Paxton Crawford Lenny Dykstra Bobby Estalella Ryan Franklin Jason Giambi Jeremy Giambi Jay Gibbons Troy Glaus Juan Gonzalez Jason Grimsley Jose Guillen Jerry Hairston Jr. Darren Holmes Ryan Jorgensen Wally Joyner Gary Matthews Jr. Rafael Palmeiro John Rocker Benito Santiago Scott Schoeneweis David Segui Gary Sheffield Derrick Turnbow Randy Velarde Matt Williams

Also linked here is the Mitchell Report in PDF.

Here's what I think... All the heroes I grew up with are somehow gone. I feel faked. I remember searching through some packs of 1986 Topps Baseball Cards at 12 years old looking for Roger Clemens. I remember getting the 1987 Topps Baseball Set featuring, McGwire (who shockingly is not on the list), Canseco, Palmeiro, Bonds, etc. All those guys, so promising as rookies really screwed it all up. All those guys should be in the Hall Of Fame. Now they aren't going to be. I took a few years to pass judgment on Bonds. I gave him the chance... the benefit of doubt. I mean, he could have been a target. But now you look at all those names and you are like, "Shit! Those son of a bitches."

What can be done? Well... Nothing. Absolutely nothing can be done here. It's broken and can't be fixed. The records are shot or overblown. No way we can ever say we were treated fairly.

A surprise name on the list is a little known player, FP Santangelo. This is dude is a local radio jock on Sports 1140 AM. I am calling that guy out. He needs to come onto the radio tomorrow morning and tell us all what he did, why he did it and what should we think about him. This guy was nobody as a player, but now he is the resident color man on the morning show. He should tell us all why. I am calling the bastard out. Here is his radio show page. Let's all email him and tell him what a fake he is. I am serious...not that his shitty assed baseball career amounted to much. This is a public figure now that he is on the radio... I am sure he has talked about this a lot over the last few years here in the morning. Man up dude... Come clean tomorrow in the morning... Tell us why. Little kids look up to athletes and now we find you all are cheats.

Baseball is a joke.

You suck FP.

Oh My...

French Skiier Screams After Bad Crash - Watch more free videos

You can actually hear the point when France surrenders at the end of this.

Steve Pimps Social Distortion

99 to Life... Social Distortion

I was driving back from my parents on Sunday in the Porsche blasting some tunes on my iPod. I was cruising out on this old straight 2 lane road called Liberty Rd. This song came up on my iPod. It's off the Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell. Sick song... I found this performance on Youtube. Such great lyrics. Mike Ness always seems to pour so much heart into his songs and into his live performances. You wouldn't hear this one on the radio like "Story of my Life", "Ball in Chain" or like their latest "Far Behind" which seems to be on the radio every time I get in the car. But he writes many songs like this one. I can't wait until they get their next album out. Probably the best band to ever see live the last 25 years...

Bullshit!!!

You don't have to be a Republican to call bullshit on this one. Hillary was always the one. My ass!! Seriously... Bill was always the playah.

Even their friend is saying Bill was with more black women than Barak Obama... That statement is so wrong! They fired Don Imus for less...

To quote:

"He's probably gone with more black women than Barack," Young said of former President Clinton, drawing laughter from a live television audience. Young, 75, was quick to follow his comment on Bill Clinton with the disclaimer, "I'm clowning."

I didn't know infidelity was so funny...

The Clinton's will say and do anything to be President. Don't be fooled people. Hillary Clinton is borderline racist to plant this Young guy to say this on her behalf. I do not see Ole Willy jumping up and condemning this one? Do you?

I am gunning for Barak to kick Hillary's ass... So much so, that right here and now this blog officially endorses Barak Obama to be the Democratic Candidate in 2008 for President. He's my fourth choice after Thompson, Huckabee and Guilani but soon I hope he is in second. I like the guy and I would not move to Canada if he became President. The guy is a fresh face and if he wins and our Republican guy is a dweeb (cough, cough) Ron Paul (cough, cough)I am voting for Obama. At least his heart is real. You can't say that about a lot of the candidates on both sides.

How do you like them apples? Teeny...? Lawryde...? You got the balls to officially endorse a candidate on the other side? Eh? And I am not talking lessor of two evils... (Like Kucinich...lol) I mean seriously... is there a guy on our side you would vote for? How about my Republican base? Any takers?

Father and Son go to Oma and Opa's...

Elijah discovers fire!

Yeah... Elijah loves Opa and Oma's house now. Now since he has discovered the sheer pleasure of burning piles of brush. The sinister laugh and exciting applause he wailed as he danced in the smoke was a key sign that he was having the bestest time:


Here's some more great fun as Opa burned more leaves and twigs from the Eucalyptus pile. It was cool man... He had a cool day running out on the "farm". (LOL Calaveras Country... a farm, heh heh)



A distant shot of Elijah with his newfound bestest friend Opa. Next time he wants a ride on the tractor.

I'm Rich, Bitch!!!

Why I am posting so much, I don't know? Something to do with the weather or the way I feel. I have the urge to write, say and even sing anything I want these days.

Funny story and I can thank Teeny for it. Teeny is one of those people that if you were someone who forwarded jokes and shit, it would probably stop right there. (My opinion anyway) I mean... she's not someone you get a bunch a jokes from in your email. We all have those people.

The other day though she forwarded me this email though that had this link to the State Controller's office of California:

http://scoweb.sco.ca.gov/UCP/

Basically... it is a site for unclaimed money the state has for certain people. It's things like stocks, inheritance, back tax refunds, utility deposits and other shit like that. I don't know what compelled her to forward it but she did.

So I looked up my name and bam! $525.00 is owed to us. I could not believe it. Shit never falls out of the sky like that for us. I am so happy!! $525.00! There is so much you can do with that kind of money.

I am going to cash it into $1 bills and then throw it on the floor and roll in it like a cheap whore.

It's like a birthday present you didn't expect only it's not Christmas Day yet.

This Is Friggin Hilarious!!!

No Sh** Sure Lock - Watch more free videos

Uhhhh....?

What was I thinking? DW will laugh all night long... I was bored and I finished work early. I recorded this on my iPod mic which really limits quality. I enhanced it as best I could... I have a whole digital set up but that takes hours... Plus I wanted to play with iMovie.

Mr. Handsome...

Dude is so photogenic.

How Ludicrous Is Global Warming Anyway?

Jesus H. Christ. Have you all seen this?

The US is blamed for Global Warming again. No one likes our policy and whatever...

But there is something hidden here that is even more sinister than George Soros:

They flew to freaking Bali to have a global warming meeting? Bali.... a tiny place located here. Exactly half way around the world.

Do you know how long it takes to get to Bali from a developed nation not named Australia or Japan? It's like a 15 hour trip in a 747 from San Francisco. You want all the developed countries to comply so you have it on the resort island pretty far from the cause of the trouble so they can burn millions of gallons of jet fuel to get there. That is so far beyond ridiculous. Why not Sudbury, Ontario where they smelt nickel cadium for a Prius battery. Or even, the big island of Hawaii where a volcano has been releasing tons carbon dioxide daily into the atmosphere for the last 30 years. Bali? So Al Gore can get a tan...?

C'mon people... if the issue is real, show us the reality...

If You Keep Reading, I'll Keep Ranting...

This post revisits many of my more famous themes from posts like, The Starbucks line, Verbal Assaults in parking lots regarding my choice of vehicle and my personal favorite Elijah.

Okay... so last night, the first night in say, 3 weeks that I went to sleep at a normal hour on my own power... only to wake up at 2:30AM. I put on CNN on sling box on my laptop so I can bore myself back to sleep. Nothing more boring than an early morning Lou Dobbs replay. The reality is though, I turned on Fox so I can anticipate the big Mitt Romney speech and learn more about the crazy fuck with the AK-47 in Omaha. (I guess if you leave all the pieces in close proximity, a kid will grab a gun and go to town... So sad this kind of stuff happens). I went back to sleep at 3 and woke up at 7 when I heard the doors slam.

Anyhow fast forward to reality... I got out of bed at 8 forgetting DW was taking the day off to relax. It's actually cool because I got to take the Cayenne to Starbucks for a cup of my liquid elixir. So I roll in and just like a movie, there was a parking spot right in front. I always call that spot the "movie spot" because when a car rolls up on a business in a movie they always get to park in front. You never get to see them run in the rain across the parking lot, dodging cars and splashing through puddles.

My cell rings and it's Elijah's day care. The nice lady there is asking me to come by and look at Elijah's finger. He somehow got it caught in a door. It sounded a hell of a lot worse than it was. I think it scared him more than it hurt. But I am the emergency contact during the week so I figured I just head into Starbucks and then head over to day care.

Fat chance...

When I opened the door of the Porsche to get out there was rather large woman standing in front of the Porsche. I gave her the,"Do I like generous? I don't have any money!" look. She goes, "I CAN'T GET IN MY CAR!!!" So I humor her... "Why?"

She's like..."You parked to close to my car..."

Thinking of Elijah... Do I say sorry? Do I ignore her? Do I say sucks to be you?

No actually, I go assess the situation because I clearly was well within my line. Sure enough I walk over to the passenger side and her tires are on the line and I am good, Teeny-arm's-widespread distance from her door. I mean... I know people larger than her who could have gotten in. I am not being mean, unreasonable or nasty. There was space. She did not want to attempt it for some reason. It is a tight, urban, downtown parking lot off of Broadway.

She goes..."I can wait for you to get your coffee."

Ah... I struck fear into her... Was it my attitude? My stern, internal dickhead approach to life?

"No...", I say..."My son is hurt at daycare... And all those cooks from the Chinese restaurant are getting their coffee. Look at the line. I'd be wasting more of your time. I am gonna just run and see my son, that's why I was on the phone."

I got back in and sped off. I was pissed the whole time to day care. Why did I let my guard down and not be a jerk on this one? Must be my Christmas spirit.

Elijah was fine. Definitely not a happy camper... Poor little guy. I went back to Starbucks after seeing Elijah.

Do not buy the Ginger Bread slice at Starbucks. It tastes like ass.

The Strange Occurences At Home During The Week

If I am not on the road... I am at home. And if I am at home... I am staring at a computer. Punching the keys, entering numbers and basically figuring out how much people can make off of talking to me when I do travel.

It's strange what occurs outside when I am home.

We live on a corner. Right now a sewer crew is in the street with manhole cover off. It seems to me that they come and go down that hole every couple of weeks. I wonder what they hell they are doing in that hole? So much so... I leaned out the dining room window and snapped the picture. It seems they are playing the Red Hot Chili Peppers Greatest Hits too. There is a dude holding a stop sign while the other one works. I want that job. Holding the stop sign in my yellow vest.

I can totally do that job too. He's on the cellphone too... I am good at that. And I can work at that hole because the commute is almost nothing. It's right outside. As often as this crew is here and because it is the city, I bet they get their full 40 hours a week just by stopping by this hole and working. I'd be a pretty shit sign holder...

I wonder what they do in there. The come by and spray paint the street there a lot too. They make marks that point to each sewer drain... It's fascinating. They probably noticed that I remove sewer grate on my side of the street. I do so because is floods if I don't with all the fall leaves and rain we get this time of year.

If you didn't find this interesting... Read lawryde's account on cheating death twice while paying homage to Robert Frost. It's way more interesting than this today.

Another Jerk Off With No Christmas Spirit.

My buddy, Michael Newdow, the American Atheist is at it again.

This has nothing to do with Christmas really. This has to do with what a pain in the ass this guy is wasting our tax dollars; the one's that say "in God we Trust" on them.

I don't care if your religion is Atheism. It is a religion actually so says the 7th District Court. But I do not care because it is a free country and you can believe whatever you want. It's your 1st Amendment right.

This guy though originally went after the Pledge of Allegiance because of the phrase, under God in the middle of the thing. The real reason he went after it though stemmed from his divorce. See he was in a bitter custody battle over his daughter. One of the things he sought to protect her from was ex wife's choice of school and the fact that the school required her to say the Pledge. This guy didn't let it go and sort of became this spokesperson for rampant liberalism and the ACLU. He is a doctor and a lawyer.

He got shut down on his first bid by the Supreme Court, after the...you name it... The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of his case against the pledge. The Supreme Court shut him down because he did not have custody of his kid and therefore could remove the Pledge from the school she went to.

He's back and I guess he down there at the 9th Circuit Court today pleading his case. Which knowing their history... will back him again only to be shut down by the Supreme Court.

What I don't get... if he is so against the phrase "under God" then why does he use the money? Why does he trade in dollars? I mean credit cards and electronic funds do not say, "in God we Trust" on them? Imagine... Not just Visa... It's Citibank's In God We Trust Visa. You can live in this world quite well using electronic funds. But...does he have small change in his car for bridge tolls and shit and does he avoid the offending dollar any chance he has? I bet not... I bet there is a roll of Twenties bouncing around in the cup holder of his Prius or bio-diesel VW that he drives to these court cases.

This is just one of those stupid cases that give liberalism a bad name... It's guys like this that ruin it.

Here's Something You Don't See Everyday

Dog Humps Kid Playing Wii - Watch more free videos

Weeeee.... I mean.... Wii

Guitar Hero Ruins Musicianship

As Stan's Mom points out clearly... "if they spend half the time learning a real instrument instead of learning the game who knows what they can accomplish."

I feel sorry for Stan's Dad when he shows the kids how to play a real guitar and he is called "gay" for it. Though... I am also showing my age. How can you say Guitar Hero is real? It's fake. It's a bunch of role playing, button pushing and quite frankly... It's stupid. You push a couple of buttons for points. What about the energy it takes to sit and learn say, "Lie In Our Graves" by Dave Matthews or "Ain't Talking About Love" by Van Halen? I know what it took for me to learn those songs. And quite frankly (again) it's something I can do at anytime and impress the shit out of my friends. But actually... I think it is more rewarding to know I can do that...instead pushing some buttons. It's different than other Xbox games

Now...something that really pisses me off. This new tid bit from Gibson. Automatic guitar tuners? What the hell is this coming too!! $900 to add this onto an already expensive Les Paul to keep it in tune... I don't know if I like this. This isn't what music is about. I mean... Eddie Van Halen must be shitting on himself because he has said in countless articles that to truly tune a guitar is impossible. All the strings are Perfect 4th apart in pitch which is the easiest interval for the human ear to pick up and learn. (Perfect 4th is the two note guitar part in verses of Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana) It's all perfect 4ths except for the interval between the G and B strings which is a Major 3rd. This "problem" causes the B string to be frequently out of tune in certain chords. Eddie flattens the pitch by ear when he tunes his guitars and stays away from playing the open B string with out fretting it some where. I do slightly the same thing because it makes the open C chord and F barre chord, major and minor sound better. It's more in tune.

The other thing I find difficult is how can this guitar pick on the change of air pressure and heat that cause your guitar to go out of tune in the first place. If you are rocking out with a electric guitar your guitar gets a little warmer because your hands are running up and down the fret board. Plus the ambient temperature changes, especially if you play on stage at the local bar. The more people that come it the warmer it gets and the farther flat your strings go because of the heat. That's why when a band like U2 plays, they have like 20 guitars on the side of the stage for Edge to pick from. If you watch there is always someone tuning a guitar back stage when a guitar guru like that is playing. The guitar tech is constantly battling this back stage. Does the guitar get in tune better when a bunch of sweaty frat boys come into a bar to see the local punk band?

Gibson should just leave well enough alone. They make a great product already that is unmatched in sound quality and tone. Why fuck it up with some electronic bullshit that will probably not work.

Also... I have officially banned myself from EVER playing Guitar Hero. It's stupid... lame and really does not make you a better person. It just gives you callouses and bad dexterity and improper posture. Learn a real instrument. It's more rewarding...

Don't Bother Me... I Am Scrooged...

I think I finally fell asleep at like 4:30 AM this morning which is roughly about the time Elijah gets up. I had a bit of a cat nap and basically got up at 7. I don't know what it is but man, I have been an insomniac the past week. I can't sleep because I worrying about shit beyond my control causing me to lose focus on my beauty sleep. The urge to worry is ripping me up.

Anyhow... DW, the boy and I went grocery shopping so I could go get some coffee to wake my ass up and get stuff done today.

It is freaking cold this morning. The Porsche looked cool with the steam coming out of the dual exhaust. It said it was only 36. I was in Denver when it was 20 and 3 inches of snow were on the ground and it felt a hell of a lot colder though here. Probably because the humidity is so high with the light fog over the field next door. It was weird because the car was cold, seat heaters were cranked and people were bundled up walking their dogs. We passed a neighbor's house that had a Nativity scene on a porch swing. I am charging my camera so I can run and get a picture of this. Oh my God, blasphemy.

I stopped at Starbucks. I just got to say... I am so tired and so like down... I walk into this place and there was too much happiness. People were too happy this morning. I get to the counter and the guy is like ultra friendly. He asked me how my day was going. I think he sensed my answer as , "Just get me my fucking coffee and shut the fuck up!" but I was polite. I answered okay... He insisted on getting me to to buy a pound of coffee to donate to the troops.

Hmm... go to Starbucks... buy coffee to donate to the troops. Who makes out on this one, I thought as I rationlized this play on the Christmas spirit? (Yeah Christmas spirit, if you want me to say Holiday Spirit I won't because this is not a liberal blog) I think of the 10,000- 20,000 plus Starbucks retail outlets... I think of all the people that go to each one. If 1 in 20 has been suckered by this one and you figure each store probably sees 500 people a day... then you have 25 pounds, times 20,000 or 500,000 pounds a day off coffee being sent off to the troops. That is a fucking grip of coffee. If they do this for the next 25 days their will be 12 million plus pounds of coffee going to the troops or probably 12 pounds for each dude... I don't know what Starbucks charges for a pound but I bet it is like $9.00... so you are seeing Starbucks suck the Christmas spirit out of people for $110,000,000 in sales.

You know something... fuck that.... That isn't the Christmas Spirit. The company need only take 5% of it's total take and give it to a good cause like amputees or other injured soldiers families. Or to the kids who had a parent die over there. 5% of what Starbucks takes on an annual basis is probably a billion or so and they are still shitting in tall cotton as a company.
That's bad capitalism and exploitation of people's giving.

I asked the dude if I could write it off on my taxes if I decided to come back...

So while waiting for my over priced liquid crack, the triple shot Latte... I am sitting there and I see this display of digital photography. They were cool photos and stuff. One had me fascinated. It was like $200 for each photo which I thought was extreme but the dude had taken a photo of the 16 street bridge at sunrise that crosses I think the American River here in Sactown. And I was staring at the photo letting my mind settle on the corporate prickism of Starbucks and I wondered about all the people that live under that 16th street bridge by the river on this cold day. Then this dude came up to me and he is like, "Hey, how's it going?" I looked at him with my expertise in sales like... that's the "Hey... can I sell you my photos?" line. I indicated that I was fascinated by the bridge photo on the river. And he goes yeah... it's pretty scary down there on the river in the morning. No shit dude...

I left... As I walked out I gazed through the front window of the Porsche. Elijah was waving at me. I sighed as I left the lot. I wondered if John was pissed when he found out Mary was pregnant with God's child? (I know it's Joseph.. but today it's John...so STFU)

With that... I'll go straight to hell...

Merry Christmas!!!
Have you hugged a liberal today?

WTF?!?!?

I'll never think of Santa the same way again...
What the hell?

Two Short Stories...

Two Stories

I don't know if these are really stories.

But quickly,

Number 1... Flying home from Denver today I was listening to my iPod on shuffle. So... you know how the pilot likes to get on the horn and tell you stuff like in a sinister yet calm voice reminiscent of your dentist,

Good afternoon folks from up here in the cabin. We have reached our cruising altitude of 37,000 feet so I am going to go ahead and turn off the seat belt fastened light. We had a bit of trouble getting out of Denver but I can assure you that we'll pick up the pace and get you into Sacramento 4 minutes late.

So we're like flying along and my iPod is shuffling through a mix of the Doors and Dave Matthews and shit, and I got my "free" ginger ale as I always do to calm my "nerves" flying in a sheet metal tube at 37000 feet. And the flight goes quick for a two and a half hours... And so my iPod is pumping along and the captain gets on at the end,

Well... we have began our final decent. So (DING!) I need you all in your seats as I have turned on the fastened seat belt light.

And I was half asleep and I wake up when the dude says that and my iPod had shuffled to Jon Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" and as soon as he said "final decent" all I heard from my iPod was,

I'm goin' do-o-o-o-o-o-o-own in a blaze of glow' ry

All anyone wants to hear as their plane is going down...

Number 2,

I took DW, Elijah and Goofy my sister in law out to dinner at Paesano's here in Sacramento. It's a cool place here in downtown Sac that makes pizza and pasta but in a way that sets it apart from a chain store like Pizza Hut or whatever. Plus they serve alcohol. The SIL and I split a bottle of Boeger's Barbera. Good freaking wine, man seriously. I hadn't seen Elijah in a couple of days so it was good to get out. They brought Elijah some pizza dough to play with. Which eventually... we were all playing with as well.

So the meal came and went. And we finished our wine and DW was holding Elijah. So I grab the dough and start playing with Elijah. I am the master juggler with one piece of dough. I tossing it around... throwing it in the air. Making it go in circles near Elijah's face, then BAM!!!

Oh Fuck!!

I accidentally jam my hand into Elijah's face poking my finger into his eye. Pretty hard too. I immediately feel like shit. Here I am gone for a couple of days... I hear stories of him asking for "Papa" by the door and I accidentally jam him with my forefinger. So I pick him up from my wife's arms. I hug him. And you know babies... They get hurt, you pick them up, you hug them 30...45 seconds go by... You look at them to see if they are okay. And there eye's are squinted, the mouth is wide open... face is purple as the wine left in your glass.... Nothing is coming out. Just a purple face with a mouth wide open, like me frozen in the picture above with out the sarcastic expression. Time has officially stopped because Elijah hasn't taken a breath yet. Then all of a sudden, the gates of hell open and all you hear is "WAHHHH!!!!!!" I hug him and kiss him and he doesn't stop crying of course...

I felt so bad... He's all good though... trashed the SIL's house with water.

One More Hill

Greg Graffin from Bad Religion

It's a cheesy video, but the only one I could find with this song

I think about myself and my own situation. I struggle. I struggle with living a life to its fullest. The way you live is mostly in your control and the rest is dumb luck. When you are a kid you have aspirations. Who doesn't have desire to be a great person? I, at one time, had strong desire to be a successful musician. The desire came when I was 14 years old. I don't know why. Maybe it was the struggles of adolescence or moving to a new place and having to adapt. Something hit me at that age and I just worked at it every. I picked up a brass horn and played it 2 hours a day. I learned. I studied. I worked on rhythm. I shaped myself into something pretty good by 16 and great by 18. I just played and played until I was good enough to be in the California State Honor Band and get a scholarship to college for it. I wasn't necessarily book smart but I made the grades and became something. And then I went to LA to make it with music either as a performer or the business guy behind it. To be that top guy some where. And it all came crashing down in 7 short months. I was 23. The music in me that I grew kind of died. All that energy I amassed in 9 years sort of left and I fell into the comfort position of the job I have now. That was 10 years ago.

I sort of made the discovery the past week that this whole pain thing I am dealing with is possibly psychological. (Teeny is going DUH!!) I believe now that I am making myself hurt. I have hurt for the better part of 5 years. Ever since that concussion in 2002. All those headaches. Even back to my very first post, 472 posts ago. I am not getting better. Drugs aren't making me better. All that acupuncture bullshit I put myself through. The shots in the spine. The MRI's, the Spinal Taps and the physical therapy. I am coming to the realization that it is all bullshit. It's probably some deep seated depression I just need to get the fuck over.

I am going to be 34 in 28 days. I need to somehow go find that guy I was at 23 and wake his shit up. What the hell was I doing? I did everything and anything I wanted from the time I was 14 until I was 23 out of sheer drive. That and I just didn't see to care about the consequences of failure because that was not an option. I don't feel that drive. I am more or less watching the wheels go around. I need to step into a cold shower after a late night of partying. I don't necessarily need the music thing back... I just need the energy I felt being on top of my little world. When I walked out of college I was unstoppable. Naive as all hell yes... but unstoppable. I think getting that energy back will bring back to keep climbing one more hill.

One More Hill is one of my favorite song and Greg Graffin does an awesome performance on the album. "If you think you have reached the top of the world. Just look all around and you'll see."

The album is great. Buy it.

It's A Two Post Sunday...

The Naked Coffee Lounge

Be sure to read the one one below this if you haven't already. I thought I'd write again about this. You know me and my coffee and my whole standing in line thing, driving an SUV, voting Republican... my son Elijah... yada yada yada...

Well, during half time of the 49er game, which they won in overtime 37-31 with a fumble recovery for a touchdown... I took Elijah with me for a cup of joe.

Been to this place many times, either late at night or early in the morning. Never mid afternoon on a Sunday. So I park the Porsche outside, hoist Elijah from his car seat and head inside. There was a grip of people in there. All college age... dark clothing... dreads.. multiple sexual preferences... free spirits and I am like "Holy Shit... I hope I don't get jumped by a stoner for my Keen sandals."

Anyhow... I walk in. Elijah has a bright yellow shirt on that says "Born to be spoiled" and red shorts... We just got out of the Porsche... we are screaming capitalism which ironically these people don't even though they outfill the Starbucks acrossed the street three to one and fresh herb is procured in the most capitalist of fashions through an underground network.

I get to the counter and order my Latte and then stupidly ask if they take credit because I have no cash. I am such a dumb ass. I got the kid... We're out of place. No one is staring at Elijah because he is cute they are staring at him like "Get that kid out of here before he shits and cries all over, conformist!"

I waited for what seemed like an eternity for my coffee (really like a minute) noticing the stares and then I left. I should have put Fred 08 bumperstickers on the ground or something.

Cool place...great coffee and tea, NOT FOR A 15 Month Old...

When Old Is The New...

U2 during the "We're poor rock stars, please buy our records" years

Who knew at 14-15 years old when you bought a copy of the "Joshua Tree" by U2, you were buying probably and arguably the greatest rock album of all time. Nothing has sounded like it before and nothing sounded like it sense. (Unless of course you make the pilgrimage to a show when they are on tour and they play songs from it). I probably have bought 4-5 copies of this album due to format changes like tape to CD, or I flat out lost them. I also have an original vinyl release, unopened in my record collection in my basement. I saw it at an old record store and perhaps it will be worth something someday. It's a 10 million seller in the US alone.

Well guess what boys and girls, you can buy it again. This fall, you can spend your hard earned dollars on buying a sure fire hit record, where all the songs are good and not crap, like say the latest Pearl Jam or Britney Spears record. And you can get a bonus.. I bunch of cool shit like photos of the band from 1987 where they look older than they do now, a DVD of a concert from Paris, a digitally remastered version of the album which will sound better and won't have the muddy, analog hiss in the background during the opening song, "Where The Streets Have No Name". The Edge's guitar will jingle and jangle like never before. Each delay effect will be precise. The 'boom, boom, boom, buh da da boom' of Adam's bass will sound so crisp and clear in "I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For". The bass and guitar during Bullet The Blue Sky will sound even more dissonant because the two different keys they are playing will leap from the background in 5.1 Stereo. And Bono... his over-wrought, pseudo Christ-like lyrics will leap into your brain like a preacher stealing hearts in a travelling show for the love of money.

The complete song list is as follows:

Where The Streets Have No Name / I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For / With Or Without You / Bullet The Blue Sky / Running To Stand Still / Red Hill Mining Town / In God’s Country / Trip Through Your Wires / One Tree Hill / Exit / Mothers Of The Disappeared

The bonus CD gets you outtakes and B-Sides:

Luminous Times (Hold On To Love) / Walk To The Water / Spanish Eyes / Deep In The Heart / Silver And Gold / Sweetest Thing / Race Against Time / Where The Streets Have No Name (Single edit) / Silver And Gold (Sun City) / Beautiful Ghost/Introduction to Songs of Experience / Wave Of Sorrow (Birdland) / Desert Of Our Love / Rise Up / Drunk Chicken/America

The highlights there are the versions of Silver And Gold, Wave of Sorrow and Spanish Eyes.

The bonus DVD gets you:

U2 Live from Paris - filmed at the Hippodrome de Vincennes in Paris, on July 41987, on the European leg of The Joshua Tree tour. The tracklist is as follows: I Will Follow / Trip Through Your Wires / I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For / MLK / The Unforgettable Fire / Sunday Bloody Sunday / Exit / In God’s Country / Electric Co. / Bad / October / New Year’s Day / Pride (In The Name Of Love) / Bullet The Blue Sky / Running To Stand Still / With Or Without You / Party Girl / 40

WTF? No Where The Streets Have No Name? I'd trade October for that any day. Highlight here should be the live version of Trip Through Your Wires, Bad, Sunday Bloody Sunday and Running to Stand Still

Anyhow... this should be cool shit for any U2 fan if not any music fan period. Buy yours today.

Buy mine for my birthday and/or Christmas. Either way it is the same thing for me... Presents once a year...WTF is up with that bullshit!!

Red Hat

More photo graphic evidence to ruin Elijah's pre teen years

In All Seriousness...

The Greatest Rock Band Ever (The Pixies)
I'm not black like Barry White, but I am white like Frank Black is

Just to screw with you all I am writing in a different font... Ha Ha...

Thank God for four days off (technically). I could use it. We are finally getting those cold mornings ( a balmy 40 degrees Lawryde, I know it's really cold in Peoria because it sucks ass) But with the cold comes the pain... Oh my God... My hips feel like someone came from behind with a couple of meat hooks and just jammed them into my pelvis. I can hear the laughter in the background like... "I got you asshole, you are mine"

What the hell did I do? Fighting the temptation to just pour the whole bottle of Vicodin down my throat with a Knob Creek chaser.

Anyhow... I am stuck with my parents on Turkey Day. Elijah and Kr--er um Darling wife will be there for moral support.

This is how it will go down:

My Mom will worry that the restaurant will have lost our reservation.

My Mom will keep talking about other family members throughout the meal.

My Mom will keep talking and talking until my Dad tells her to shut up.

My Dad will begin asking questions about car washes while playing with Elijah.

DW will order her first magic elixir (Kettle One and Tonic)

I will start answering the questions on car washes and my mom will interrupt worrying about what the other family members are doing.

I will spread some gossip because that is what holds the car wash industry together.

My Dad will concur with more questions quietly with lots of space in between sentences while finishing his beer.

(During this time, I will have searched for a not to over priced wine...Notice DW hasn't got a word in edge wise yet...except to ask me about her second vodka tonic...)

My mom will openly talk about what she bought us all for Christmas, her boutiques for her crafts and past history about the time my brother shoved his elbow into the banana pie on Thanksgiving 29-30 years ago.

My Dad will order another beer. At this point my mom will look around the room disgruntled because our waiter hasn't taken our food order. She will frown because I choose Prime Rib over Turkey...

The waiter comes and my mom will push back to make her order. I will let my Dad and DW order before I order. I will choose a red wine for the table that is not too heavy, not a Zin or Merlot, but a varietal or Reb Table Wine. Possibly a Sangiovese or Barbera... All along staring at the Fume Blanc or Riesling on the white side of the list. (Been craving Whites lately)

When I finally order my mother will frown because of the veggies I order. She will say comically to the waiter. "He doesn't eat vegetables, I don't know why he's ordering them" as I order a side salad too.

My mom will not see the signs that she should offer to hold Elijah as he is on his second batch of restaurant toys and crackers and is now working on his first crayon. I panic over the crayons even being near him while DW gives me the old, "Who's the better parent look" (She is by far... Trust me!)

The food will come and so will DW's third Vodka Tonic, my dad's fifth beer and my mom's tenth scowl. I will be enjoying a wine/Vicodin buzz, picking on my mother with everything she says.

The food will be good... My mother will comment profusely on the food quality or randomly bring up people I went to high school with. She'll also get in a jab how we couldn't afford college and how I could I pay all that money to go there. She'll comment on how well off DW's family appears to be in her eyes or she'll ask how much I make and DW will say "Oh Carol...stop". Then she'll ask if we have an Adjustable Rate Mortgage that is about reset and how we'll lose our house if we had one.

My Dad will say "Carol.. quit it! Why do you always say this shit?" DW will have left to walk Elijah around during this whole tirade. I will have ordered Vodka Tonic 4.

I will have finished the potatoes and spinach I ordered with the prime rib. My mom will talk about the eating habits of her four other grand kids.

The dessert menu will come and my mom will order something she won't eat and my dad won't order anything because he is still pissed at what she said.

I will order something that both me and DW like in case I can't finish.

Elijah will smile and stare at all the strange people.

Finally the bill will come and my dad won't let me pay... My mom will wonder out loud who is driving and complain that they have no money as my dad pushes me out of the way to pay. I will have been fine to drive because I held it to two glasses of wine plus I knew DW wanted the vodka tonic to get through it.

And that will be Thanksgiving tomorrow. DW and I will print this list off and bring it with us and check it off as we go. We call it Holiday Bingo... Play it sometime...

I am going outside to sit in the Porsche. Seat Heater!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!